Post to the Host

Comments from the week of 10.10.22

GK,

With reference to today’s essay (October 6, 2022), I too am happy with Aaron Judge for his feat of greatness in hitting all those home runs, BUT … how on Earth could you just ignore Albert Pujols and his feat of greatness of hitting 703 home runs during his career with the St. Louis Cardinals, and a couple of other teams during his long career, which is now over. He is now fourth on the all-time home run list, just behind the late great Babe Ruth.

I know you live in New York and follow the Yankees faithfully, but there are other baseball greats out there who should also be recognized and congratulated.

Broaden your world away from New York, please. 

Nancy Laird

Thanks for the correction. I am, however, not a Yankee fan and I was admiring not only Judge’s feat but also his classy modest demeanor and athletic grace, and in writing about him, I intended no disrespect for ballplayers I did not write about, including your man. Glad you enjoyed his presence on the cards. GK

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Dear Garrison,

When some writer tells you that Trump is a great man and you reply the “I don’t see it …” I want to scream. That’s not enough. Every one of Trump’s allies is trying to get him reelected so he could overturn American democracy. China is threatening to invade Taiwan; North Korea is shooting missiles over Japan; Iran is killing women protesting in the streets; Saudi Arabia is hiking the price of gas and Putin is threatening nuclear war while the evidence of genocide — bodies of executed Ukrainians are being exhumed. Trump’s friends want him back in power, to quit NATO so Putin can march through Europe. Garrison, if you want to reminisce, think about the growing danger of 1930s Germany while the world looked the other way. We could use a limerick in which MAGA = NAZI.

Clay Blasdel
Buffalo, New York

I said what I said in the belief that a soft answer turns away wrath. I’m sorry it offended you. GK

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Dear Garrison,

I am a fellow Minnesotan, originally from Hibbing, who fled to California to thaw out. I remained an avid devotee of the Keillor culture. At my 96 years to your piddling 80, give me a listen, sonny. As a widower, I envy you and your sweetheart who laughs at your jokes and intestinal explosions. You have often referred to your emotionally distant father who never hugged you. To many of your Post-ers and, even to you, I offer this by Oscar Wilde: “Children begin by loving their parents, after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”

Victor Befera
Palo Alto, California

An excellent quote, Victor. I think I have forgiven my dad. He loved my mother and he worked two jobs to support six kids and he was soft-spoken and temperate and did his best to get along with people. He was a devoted Christian and when he was with some of his siblings, I saw a genial outgoing side of him that he rarely showed at home. He had a good life. GK

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While collecting seed from the virgin prairie next to the King Pioneer Cemetery in Iowa, the idea of Prairie Home Companion became clear to me. I looked over the gravestones and saw names of people who came from Bohemia and other parts of Europe. There were veterans from many wars, starting with the Civil War. There were children that died of disease. There were those who died in their prime.

The descendants of these pioneer immigrants scattered to the prairie wind. At closer look I now see new grave markers of people from far away. The obituaries of these newcomers’ ashes and bones show that they wish to rest in the same prairie home of their grand-parents and even great-grandparents.

Glenn Pollock

Omaha, Nebraska

Add me to the list. I may wind up my life in New York but I own a plot in a little cemetery in Minnesota where James and Dora and John and Grace and other relatives are buried and I expect to join them. GK

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In today’s Post to the Host, you said that “snow is light, it doesn’t crush buildings, it just melts.” Here in the DC area, we know that’s not true. This famous event is: 

Knickerbocker Theatre (Washington, D.C.) - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Knickerbocker_Theatre

The theater’s roof collapsed on January 28, 1922, under the weight of snow from a two-day blizzard that was later dubbed the Knickerbocker Storm. It killed 98 people and injured another 133. And as a Minnesotan, you should know about the collapse of the Metrodome roof back on December 20, 2010: the Metrodome’s roof collapsed under the immense weight of snow and ice built up on its billowy surface.

Melissa Yorks 

Gaithersburg, Maryland 

I forgot about the Metrodome but its roof was fabric so it simply sagged. As for the Knickerbocker, I’m curious if the architect imagined the possibility of so much snow in D.C. I doubt he was a Minnesotan. GK

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Hi, Garrison.

Your latest column was eerily timely — as I read your thoughts regarding immigrants, it resurrected a scene that played out yesterday. I was engaged in a transaction at a local bank and was the only customer at first. Then a couple came to the next teller down, speaking limited English with a heavy accent. As she struggled to understand and answer their questions (it finally transpired to be about a money transfer), another customer came in. The couple moved off to a corner to call the recipient of the money, speaking in their native language, and the second customer took their place, greeting the teller with a “Hola.” Then a third customer arrived, also a non-English speaker. As I left, I found myself sympathizing with the teller, whose primary language was apparently English. I couldn’t imagine how much harder that job must be nowadays, given the recent influx of immigrants locally. I live in a city that until recently was populated primarily by descendants of immigrants from Ireland, Italy, Germany, Poland, and Slovakia. I wondered if the bank clerks in the late 1800s experienced the same difficulties when serving those immigrants. Nowadays, the expectations seem to have shifted — there is a greater expectation for the receiving country’s residents to cope with the language barrier. When I was still practicing medicine (in a local clinic), a client once called me a racist because I did not speak Spanish. All I could think at the time was, anytime I traveled to a foreign country, I was always grateful if someone spoke/understood English and would never have considered it their responsibility to speak my language! I welcome our immigrants, but I don’t envy folks in customer service occupations who must cope with the additional challenges. I hope their efforts are noticed and appreciated!

Pat McC.

One more reason why new arrivals tend to find a neighborhood of their fellow countrymen. Ukrainians in Minneapolis still have a piece of Nordeast where several generations live so newcomers can find help with the new language and I’d assume banks up there would have a teller who understood Ukrainian. GK

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Garrison,

I’m a fan of a certain age (70). I love Mozart, Count Basie, Paul Simon, Mahalia Jackson, and John Coltrane … and yet when I wake up in the middle of the night, I find sitcom theme songs from the ’60s going through my head. And not good ones either: “My Mother the Car”(“Everybody knows in a second life, we all come back sooner or later/as anything from a pussycat to man-eating alligator.”) I mean, it ran for one season! I’ve tried listening to the Bach Cello Suites at bedtime, but nothing seems to work. Has something like this ever happened to you?

R. Lee Procter

Never. I gave up TV about forty years ago so the themes have faded. Sometimes a song from an old musical, like “Gary, Indiana” from The Music Man, or “Doe, a deer, a female deer, ray a drop of golden sun, me a name I call myself” and so on. It’s painful. GK

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Dearest GK,

I loved your essay this morning, especially your encouragement that we try to be cheerful and do our best for each other. But sir, you must pay more attention to what is really important here.

Your essay contains not one but two comma splices (two independent clauses spliced together with a comma), and I’m here to tell you that you simply can’t do that.

Here’s the first comma splice: 

I recall my dad’s love of his Florida mobile home after he fell off a barn roof in Minnesota and fractured his skull and got bad sinus problems that made winter unbearable, he took Mother to Florida to live in a trailer.

After “unbearable,” you need a full stop OR a semi-colon OR a comma with a coordinating conjunction (like “unbearable, and he took”).

Here’s the second comma splice: 

I go through the scanner and the TSA guy says he needs to pat down my inner thighs, I don’t report him for sexual aggression, I pretend it isn’t happening. 

After “thighs,” you need a full stop OR a semi-colon OR a comma with a coordinating conjunction (like “thighs, but I don’t”). Same goes for the punctuation after “aggression.” 

You’re right that we should all participate in the “spirit of cheerfulness that is thoroughly American and will prevail.” But how is this possible if we do not retain a decent respect for punctuation?

Your fan,

Maria

DeKalb, Illinois

You’re right, of course, and I will take this up with my copy editor the next time we speak on the phone; I’m curious to hear what she’ll say. GK

*****Note from the copy editor:

Thank you, Maria. I think of GK as King of the Comma Splice. As you rightly point out, examples of comma splices and run-on sentences (long ones) pepper his writing. And while he indeed has decent respect for punctuation (as do I), the comma splice is a distinctive part of his style. This is not academic writing; it should have some leeway. We wouldn’t want to limit James Joyce to simple declarative sentences. We wouldn’t want to mention to Picasso that, strictly speaking, Dora Maar’s nose isn’t where her left ear ought to be. I prefer to give creativity a little breathing room.

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Mr. Keillor,

You have been writing a lot about your decision to be cheerful and not look back. As a psychologist, I wonder if you’re really experiencing a lot of pain about your past problems and would rather live in denial. Maybe you’d better see someone who can help you make peace. 

Marc M. 

I admit that I go through periods when I don’t like myself, which is painful for me and also for my family. I think this is fairly normal for a person my age, with so much available to regret. But it passes. Gratitude is the great antidote and I’m grateful for a lot, including Jenny who lives with me, good health, and work that I love. GK

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Mr. Keillor,

You write a lot about growing older, but what advice do you have for younger folks who just need to survive in a world that’s probably headed for disaster? I’m afraid for my grandchildren and I’m losing hope.

Heather

I’m afraid for you, too, Heather. A great many people in power believe things they know are not true and seem unlikely to reverse course. There’s been progress made in reversing our dependence on fossil fuels. But our country is at war with itself and I like awake at night and wonder if in Ukraine we’re heading toward WW3. I imagine you lie awake at night too. The Nov. 8 election is going to tell us a lot about the future. GK

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Garrison, 

Are you still a progressive Democrat? Sometimes I’m not so sure.

Sharon K.

I’m not so sure either. I voted for a Republican this year, which was a big step. I’m waiting to see what happens with all that infrastructure funding that got passed and whether it’ll be spent smartly or get frittered away in political dealing. I see that California, a progressive Democratic state, is unable to build a high-speed rail line. It makes me wonder. GK

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omg! I was pouring my OJ this morning and thinking about a kinda dumb question I answered on Facebook yesterday. I rarely answer those questions on Facebook because I figure nobody really cares (except that my son always “Likes” my responses, like a good son).

Anyway, the question was “What was your favorite radio station when you were young?” or something like that. I answered because I loved my radio station, WBAI. I always said that WBAI saved my life! I listened late into the night and then some.

Well, this morning I was thinking about the various characters on that station, and the first to come to mind was Larry Josephson, and I wondered if he was still around, somewhere.

My buddy sent me today’s Keillor column because of the love of jokes. I didn’t even get farther than the first sentence and there they were — Larry and WBAI.

Thanks for the reminder. I grew up in a household of puns and jokes. Fun!

Edie Platt, age 78

In memory of Larry. I saw this written on a woman’s T-shirt: At my funeral, take the flowers off the casket and throw them to the guests, to see who’s next!

Nancy Alford

Mr. Keillor,

I recall reading in one of your columns that you’ve never in all your life gone to a therapist. You seem to have led a pretty complicated life: how have you managed to avoid this?

Margaret Keene

Edina

I think it’s lack of self-esteem. I don’t think my troubles are interesting enough and I don’t want to feel that I’m boring the therapist. So I get in a miserable mood for a few days and eventually it passes. GK