Post to the Host

Comments from the week of 11.08.21

Sir:

I love when you get preachy, which is getting rarer these days, I’m sorry to say. What’s going on? Your preachments about climate change were quite good. So tell me, how do you follow your own preaching?

Simon, S.D.

The pandemic life is a simple life here in New York. Not much gadding about, not much shopping. If we order in food, the deliverymen bring it on bicycles. The subway is nearby. I admit I have taken taxis. I do fly to Minnesota. I assume our apartment building uses fuel oil but I don’t know. I walk a lot, which is a nice thing about New York. Lots of life out on the street. We recycle, of course. In other words, true reform requires government action, it can’t be left up to individuals.

As for your other question, “why less preaching?” I’m getting too old. Preaching is up to millennials now. I’m only in the way.

GK

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Dear Mr. Keillor,

One of your shows almost caused a traffic accident. I was driving with my family and listening to a story about the men who go ice fishing up in Lake Wobegon. You mentioned that later in the evening the men go outside and stand in a straight line and stare at the heavens. It was then that you said, “all men are created equal.” There was a two-second delay and then the audience and I started laughing, causing the speaker on my car’s dash to seemingly explode!

Jim Hargett, Saginaw, Michigan

I know Saginaw as the hometown of Theodore Roethke, a great American poet who died too young at 55, and I’m wondering if Saginaw has a memorial to him. I love his “My Papa’s Waltz” and “Elegy for Jane” and “The Waking” and many others. His dad owned a greenhouse there and many of the poems are set in it. As for the joke that caught you unawares, I would be heartbroken if you’d crashed your car in response to a dumb joke like that. But people like them and I am no exception. My daughter was pulverized, while riding in a boat with me, to see a wave come over the side and wet my pants. The apparent incontinence of her old man. I took a video of her laughing hysterically and I carry it around on my cellphone.

GK

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I read what you wrote about Florida. I spent 12 years going to Florida. I have one word for you: alligator. Alligators are nearly everywhere in Florida. Anywhere there is a body of water, there could be an alligator. If you are thinking about a stroll, think about your path. That swimming pool has to be protected by a solid fence, similar to the fence lining Alligator Alley, the nickname for the highway that links the gulf side and the Atlantic side. Rent a house. See how it goes. Note: regarding the risk of falls on ice, I wear ice grippers on my boots. I’m sure they are available in REI or Eddie Bauer or Target. I put them on at the first snow and take them off at the melt. Bless you for this wonderful site.

Megan Makepeace

Thanks for the advice, Megan. I’ll get those ice grippers and as for Florida, my wife says she’s not ready to leave New York.

GK

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Hi, Garrison.

We are in the club now — the ablation alumni. I had mine two years ago, and my applesauce was a PB and J (which I hadn’t had in about 40 years) … ambrosia indeed.

I am fascinated to see that you included photos of what the procedure room looks like — I saved some from the internet in my phone, and for several days I felt compelled to revisit the experience — sharing the photos to amaze my family and friends, which I think was an attempt to decompress and process my sublimated terror. (I am a retired M.D., which means feeling pressure to be cool while knowing a bit more about the potential risks than one might wish to!) I hope yours was successful and wish you many years of normal sinus rhythm! As for me, it appears likely that I will be back on the table down the road. C’est la vie …

Pat McC.

P.S. I was awake for mine, and they didn’t want to use much sedation because they didn’t want to make it harder to find where my arrhythmia was coming from! Yikes!

My doctors put me out entirely and I can’t imagine being half-awake for it. YIKES. And being a doctor yourself and knowing too much. You’ve now joined my gallery of personal heroes, including Bob Altman and Stan Nelson my old gym teacher who was an observation officer on one of the first LSTs landing at Omaha Beach and who is still looking good at 101. My defibrillator is working well and has put me into normal rhythm but it’s not something you bounce right back from. I’ve been sleeping a lot. I need to get myself active and moving and meanwhile I’m sitting around writing silly poems. I had two uncles who died young from the same mitral valve problem that triggered my fibrillation. You and I are lucky to have been born when we were. Thank you, science.

GK

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A foolhardy lady named Schneider drank easily ten pints of cider but died in convulsion due to expulsion of her bowels, found lying beside her.

Richard Friary

Excellent work, sir. I raise my right limb in honor of your limerick.

GK

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Dear Garrison,

The deeper the rest you can get, the more energy will be available for the process of recovery.

Ordinary rest, such as napping or relaxing or even sleep, is not sufficient in removing deeply rooted stress that accumulates during a lifetime. However, deeply rooted stresses are significantly dissolved during the practice of the Transcendental Meditation technique. Psychosomatic disease — illness caused or aggravated by stress — including headaches, abdominal pain, allergies, heart disease, stroke, respiratory diseases, and even cancer — can be positively affected by the deep rest you get during Transcendental Meditation.

https://tm-women.org/help-in-recovery-from-disease/#

As far as your doing something worthy with your amazing blessing, your “dinky little essays” are, it seems to me, just what the doctor ordered.

Best wishes,

Craig M. Berg

With all due respect, I don’t think stress is behind my strokes and heart problem. I’ve had an easy time of it, compared to a good many people I know, and I’ve made too many jokes about transcendentalism to dare attempting it myself. I love a good night’s sleep for the amazing epic dreams it often brings, which are so much more enjoyable than the little snippets of dreams I experienced back in my working years when I did have a little stress. But thanks.

GK

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Kia ora from New Zealand, Mr. Keillor. I also have had an ablation procedure. My surgeon was a Black woman with a delightful Cockney accent, and the nurse sounded like he was from Eastern Europe. They were both very kind. The surgeon likened the procedure to fixing a short circuit; my CEO at the time pointed out that the term ablation also describes a process that happens to glaciers. Don’t know whether all that makes me a live wire or a cold fish, but I too am glad to be alive. Kind regards.

Peter Ledingham, Taranaki, New Zealand

Good to hear from you. The combination of kindness and competence is unforgettable. My doctor was Korean, a fascinating minority in America. I sometimes sit surrounded by Korean students at the library and there is no messing around, everyone is at work. I once asked a Korean woman about the stereotype of Korean parents as very strict, and she laughed and said it was no stereotype. The work ethic of immigrants and their kids is worthy of honor.

GK

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How could you know about my thumb, you mook? Deftly shucking a $1.25 Puget Sound oyster on the front porch of my Lolo Hot Springs, Montana, cabin, sans gloves, I daftly stabbed my left writing thumb, bled out about a cup of O (-) masked from A (-), and promptly fainted from the mere shock of the encounter with the extremely sharp survivalist blade. Hit a nerve. Still hurts today. No telephone (stolen). Zero communication. Bar, lodge, and spring pools too far to walk to while bleeding and fainting. Stuck around the cabin after I cleaned the two wounds. Applied pressure and slept the sleep of the dead from around 1530 HRS until 0130 HRS. Passed out really hard from blood loss. Needed stitches. Should have gone to the hospital. Yet, ever the Girl Scout and warrior military broad, this tart berry tomato took care of everything solo with Jesus @ the wheel and the Virgin in the engine house.

Your past five articles have been quite impressive, amusing, inspirational, and uncharacteristically humble. However, this thumb thing out of you was creepy.

Andromeda Eudonia Mobius

Glad you survived, Andromeda. I don’t recall having written about a stabbed thumb, but glad the Lord showed mercy.

GK

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Dear Mr. Keillor,

I am so disillusioned with politicians these days and I don’t see things changing anytime soon, at least not here in the USA. When the GOP threatens to strip 13 of their own members of their House committee assignments just because they voted for the infrastructure bill, I have to say that democracy as we have known it is dead. Trumpism is still alive and well, and greed and lust for power are tearing this country apart. If the orange-faced man comes back in 2024, all bets are off for the future of this country, and yes, perhaps the world. The young people can shout all they want, but I’m doubtful that anyone with the power to change things will listen. Indeed, our house is on fire, and I’ve lost hope. I’m afraid that, as usual, the climate summit is all talk and no action. Promises made, promises broken. It’s pretty much hopeless and I’m afraid we’ve reached the point of no return. I fear for what the future holds for my grandchildren, and it makes me incredibly sad. I could use some Keillor optimism.

Sally, St. Paul, MN

Sally, we are a nation of immigrants and when I’m in New York I’m very aware of that. You hear the accents everywhere you go. When I went to the ER a few months ago, my nurse was Yemeni, my neurologist Israeli, the EEG guy was from Nepal, a nurse was from Pakistan, and though their path may have been rough, they seemed grateful to be here and when I thanked them for their good care, they said they love this country. There is an ugly nativist mob in America and it’s become brazen. Politicians who know better are selling stupidity to their people. This is a dangerous road to travel. The 2020 election was very close and so will next year’s be and 2024, by which time we can hope some of the fever burns off. It means that the hopeful have to outwork and outorganize the angry.

GK

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Mr. Keillor,

I am 21 and my mother keeps sending me your columns, which I find interesting but I gather from them that you don’t know many people in my age group. Which is okay, I understand. But do you really believe, as you seem to suggest, that your generation has it better than mine does? I can’t imagine growing up in the Sixties. What an ugly time.

Kimberly, Northfield, MN

In some respects, we had it better. There is political venom in the U.S. that didn’t exist back then, it simply didn’t. Left and right made fun of each other but didn’t loathe and despise each other. I went to college when a person could pay tuition and rent with what you earned washing dishes in the scullery. I accumulated no debt and I didn’t have to ask my parents for money. I also could (and did) go to concerts on the cheap and got to hear the Philadelphia Orchestra and Andres Segovia and Vladimir Horowitz and music I’d never heard before. And theater and ballet. I think that literature was much more in the forefront then –– everybody had read some Allen Ginsberg and Frost and Saul Bellow and Philip Roth, even if they weren’t English majors ––– it was part of common culture. The Beatles were part of a common musical culture in the Sixties and if you went to a party and someone started singing “Please Please Me” or “Here Comes The Sun,” everybody knew the words. Is this true of Taylor Swift songs today? I doubt it. But I’m an old man, as you know. I go to YouTube to see Paul Simon and Joan Baez sing “The Boxer” and I have to watch an ad for the AARP, calcium supplements, and Viagra. When you’re old, they assume you’re over the hill. Maybe so, but it’s a lovely hill. When you have a minute, listen to “The Boxer.”

GK