Post to the Host

Comments from Week of 03.28.22

Hi, Garrison.

I’ve lost this argument a few times, but new developments have come to light.

I live in a rural area with unsurpassed outdoor recreation opportunities (skiing, biking, hiking, rafting, camping, fishing, and mushroom hunting to name a few). I tell my friends and family that it would be difficult to live here but for the internet, Amazon, and UPS delivery. The small town where I live has a grocery and hardware store, which I frequent weekly. But trying to buy anything else necessitates a 30- to 60-minute car ride (Walmart is the closest …).

So I buy a lot of stuff off Amazon. I know Bezos is a gazillionaire, wasting his money to go to space. But he did save the Washington Post, which has continued its fine journalism. And his ex-wife has vowed to give away most of her $45 billion Amazon stock worth, including a just-announced $275 million donation to Planned Parenthood.

I know people bemoan the loss of mom-and-pop stores (we still have some where I live). However, pretty much has been or is reinvented these days (including me when I started a third career ten years ago as a working freelance writer/photographer). If you ever want to learn to mushroom hunt, let me know. It’s a nice walk in the woods, just don’t step in the bear scat.

Best,

John W Mitchell

Western Slope, Colorado

I admire your adventurous life on the Slope, which is utterly different from mine and don’t argue with your shopping via Amazon. We all make difficult choices. It was encouraging to see that workers at an Amazon warehouse in upstate New York have voted to organize a union and hope the company accepts that and will relax its workplace stringency. And spring is coming and I get to go to Colorado in May.

GK

My cousin and I are named Lukas,
And our mothers did often rebuke us;
Our hankies were clean,
And there could be seen
On the ends of our noses some mucous.

Dr. Richard Friary

A fine limerick, esteemed sir. And thanks.

GK

Hi, Mr. Keillor.

I sit here in disbelief after reading your column about motherhood and Judge Jackson’s Senate hearings. Yes, the GOP senators were embarrassingly ignorant and insensitive but evidently, they either don’t know or care about that. They are too busy trying to warrant a spot on Fox News.

My disbelief stems from your statements about motherhood in general and as it relates to Judge Jackson’s accomplishments. While I assume you were attempting to be complimentary of mothers, what you did was give fathers a free pass to be physically and/or emotionally absent while simultaneously putting more pressure (and there is already plenty) on mothers to “do it all.” And you throw the GOP senators’ mothers (and all bad boys’ mothers) under the bus, blaming them and their sluttiness for the sins of their sons. Wow did you get it wrong.

I think it would be helpful if all white men, before asking a question or making a statement about women or people of color, first ask themselves, “Would I say this to/about a white male?” and picture themselves doing so. If the answer is “no,” then stop speaking.

Thank you,

Brenda F

Clackamas, Oregon

What you describe is not what was intended by the writer but it’s how you read it and I will simply accept that you read it that way and not attempt to defend it lest I upset you further.

GK

We were born one day apart, Garrison. I’m older. I was born in Minneapolis to parents who were Danish. My father was born in Denmark and my mother was first generation from Wisconsin.

So much of your writings and humor about Minnesota immigrants resonates well with my life. My father, Niels, owned Nielsen Bakeries at 17th and Chicago and was famous for his kringles and pumpernickel. He knew “snoose boulevard” quite well. My mother was born in Wisconsin to Danish immigrants. She met my father in Dania Hall and the rest is history. Skål!

We were born in one of the most tumultuous years of the twentieth century, 1942. It is quite possible you or I were conceived on Pearl Harbor Sunday — do the math. Did you know that?

My parents valued education and sacrificed so I could attend college: Gustavus Adolphus, of course. I went on to earn my doctorate degree and spent my career in Minnesota state universities, including Winona State, Metro State, and Southwest State.

My political philosophy mirrors yours. Your latest piece on the Supreme Court hearings was superb, but also disturbing. I worry about the world we are leaving our descendants. I’ll keep fighting until the day I die.

I wish we could meet to share the wonderful memories we have shared in almost 80 years. My God, we are getting old!

I’ve read many of your books and heard your broadcasts over the years. I also loved attending PHC at the Fitz many times. You are still making a difference and hopefully so am I. If I have a birthday wish it would be to have lunch and wine with you and talk about the “good old days.” We have so much in common.

Kindest regards,
Dennis Nielsen
Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin

Dennis, we should do that. I intend to throw a big dinner at a great restaurant for my birthday and invite a crowd of friends and I’d be happy to have you there. My Danish mother-in-law, Elly, loved oysters and champagne and I’ll have plenty of that. My mother grew up around 38th and Chicago and I don’t know that she came as far as 17th, but we’ll try to have pumpernickel bread too. I’m looking forward to 80 and taking aim at 97, which was my mother’s high-water mark.

GK

Dear GK,

I am a big fan of yours. I have always admired your way with words. I am writing now for advice and encouragement.

I have always liked my name, which is “Karen.” I am wondering if you are aware that now the name “Karen” has turned into a slur, mostly on social media. But I have also heard it used on television, for example in a skit on Saturday Night Live, so it’s kind of out there.

According to dictionary.com, “Karen is a pejorative slang term for an obnoxious, angry, entitled, and often racist middle-aged white woman who uses her privilege to get her way or police other people’s behaviors.” It is used as in “Don’t be a Karen” or “She’s such a Karen” or “I see the Karens are out in full force.” 

I am very sad that my name has turned into an insult. Ironically, I get it that there are some people who do act entitled, racist, and obnoxious. I just wish that “Karen” wasn’t the name attached to that — not that I wish anyone else’s name to be besmirched either.

I know I can’t stop this phenomenon so what should I do? Just ignore it? Let it go? Stay off social media completely? Make jokes about it? Ignore the whole thing? Not take it so seriously? Use it as a source of self-reflection as in “Am I really any of those things?”

I do feel a bit persecuted over this phenomenon.

What would you advise? 

Karen Eckert (Baby Boomer, age 66, a double English major, bachelor’s and master’s degrees)

Karen, I grew up in a Karen era, with Karens all around me in school, and until I read your note, I was unaware of what you describe. I recommend ignorance. Hold your head high and go careening along obliviously and avoid whatever social media carry this nonsense and if anyone uses the name pejoratively in your presence, go to the other side of the room. Life is too short to get involved in other people’s misperceptions. Be happy. Read “Anna Karenina,” care about what you care about, be happy.

GK

GK,

I loved the penguin joke when you told it in the movie, and when I shared it with my teenage daughter some years ago, she laughed, not just a little but a lot. I would repeat it to her when she was going through difficult times, and it never failed to produce a brighter mood. It even inspired me to write my own penguin joke:

Two penguins are stranded on an ice floe, and when they finally notice each other, one says to the other, “Oh waiter …”

Maybe not as funny, but still … she laughed again.

Kent Bernhardt

Salisbury, North Carolina

You raised a fine daughter, sir. My daughter is puzzled by the penguin joke. So is my wife. I think some people refuse to get the joke, thinking it’s too simple, but that’s the beauty of it. It’s like the man who walks into the house with his hands full of dog turds and says, “Look what I almost stepped in.” Ba-dum, bap bap.

GK

GK,

I join you in supporting the unpopular idea of pardoning T***p. Good people have tried again and again to hold him accountable and he manages to turn it around to his advantage. Not only that, but each time he escapes the Mueller Report or impeachment or whatever, he gets bolder.

In the world we would like to live in, all are equal under the law. People are rewarded for good deeds and punished if they err. But in the world of T***p, he has grown stronger by severely punishing anyone who goes against him. It works because enough of those 74 million people who voted for him believe the election was stolen from him and are ready to “take our country back.”

So let’s just admit he is getting away with things that would be the end of any other businessman or politician and get on with the important issues of the day. Any attempts to bring him to justice will bring him what he lives on — attention. And it will come with a probable irresistible resistance. So quietly pardon him some Friday evening and then ignore him. 

We can live with that, knowing his fake University was shut down as was his misused “charity.” Perhaps he will fail as his last creditors flee. Perhaps some state court will nail him on some of his business practices. Who knows. Meanwhile our country will not join those who often jail predecessors even though, in our case, it might be wholly legitimate.

Ron Graham

Fergus Falls, Minnesota

You’re too late to agree with me, Ron, since I am feeling otherwise now in respect to the January 6 insurrection and the possibility that the Justice Department may find grounds to convene a grand jury and present charges of interfering with Congress. His financial chicanery has been well exposed by journalists, but the insurrection is another matter. I await further details.

GK

When are you coming to Texas or close to us?

Phyllis

There are rumors of something in Austin this summer, something within the city limits, I believe.

GK

Dear Mr. Keillor,

With all due respect — I say this genuinely as a longtime admirer of your common-sense wisdom and wit, and as a fellow 1942-ian — I must take exception to your putting palpable threats to democracy here at home from the likes of Donald Trump and Ginni Thomas in the category of frivolous, in a domain apart from Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. They are in fact of the same essential piece: democracy is under attack both here and abroad. The wisdom of Burke, Wiesenthal, and others applies to both: evil prevails when good people don’t take it seriously.

Sincerely,

Brian Forst 

Reston, Virginia 

I agree, Brian, but the situation is quite different in the U.S. The danger to democracy here isn’t Trump, it certainly isn’t Virginia Thomas, it’s the passivity of Democrats due to I don’t know what — cynicism, arrogance, indifference ­­— in failing to rise to the challenge and speak with passion and do the hard work of getting people to go to the polls. Young people, who are most affected by the corruption of democracy, have dreadfully low numbers of participation in November. Biden’s SOTU speech had its moments but mostly it was a long list of stuff that’ll never happen. I worry that the man had a safe seat in the Senate for so long that he lost his fire, and if so, we’re in trouble. The Republicans have made it clear that they’re fully engaged in a culture war to throw out gay marriage, transgender people, contraception, Roe v. Wade, affordable health care, clean energy, and return us to 1955 and cars with big fins. And now you’ve gotten me into the minefield of politics, Brian, and I had promised myself I’d give it a rest and now I’ve lost all my Republican readers and it’s your fault. Let’s talk about daffodils instead.

GK

Dear Mr. Keillor,

With respect, I really would like to know, how are your statements not polarizing? When you continually villainize conservative believers and sanctify liberals, are you not deepening the divide? Why further divide our nation by pitting liberal believers against conservative believers?

YES, I agree, we are one people under God, the body of Christ. Why not do something good for God’s children and our nation by building on common ground, forgiving, accepting, and loving each other as we are called to? Why can’t we work together to heal our nation? God has given you an opportunity to be part of that instead of further dividing us. 

I am a conservative follower of Jesus and not your enemy or a villain as you portray me. I am not an idealistic, radical nut. I am simply a fellow American trying to follow our Lord and work hard along with other conservative and liberal believers to help others and do good for our nation. I am your humble sister in Christ and I love you. Please, can we turn this villainizing rhetoric around?

Praying for you, God’s plan for you, and our nation,

Sherri Palmer 

Where is the common ground, Sherri? I can’t find it. I thought it lay in a common respect for reality, but when a vast majority of conservatives believes the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, despite all the evidence, then it’s hard to see where we can come together. And the idea of Mr. Trump as a conservative is rather bewildering. Ask George F. Will.

GK

Mr. Keillor, good morning.

By the time I read the paragraph that began, “Calm down” the two rectangular, hand-painted signs tacked on nearby utility poles came to mind. The first one — “you are worthy of all good things” — I see when walking a block east from my house. The second bit of inspiration — “everything will be okay” — resides three blocks north. Seeing both of these brings a comfort that whoever put them on the utility poles shares a similar optimism that we will be okay. Thank you for frequently promoting thought-provoking subjects.

Warm regards,

Pam Cavanagh

Arcata, California

I think I did a show in Arcata once, Pam, and I wish I’d seen those signs. When I said “everything will be okay,” there was some irony intended, but I do hope, for the children’s sake, that they have a chance at the good life that my generation enjoyed.

GK

“The Christian faith sets high standards, some of which must be ignored.”

It is the way you think about what you own. How do you look at it? Do you think the Lord wants you to give away your fancy T? Just look at it with proper distancing. And, no, I don’t have to excuse former President Trump. He did wrong.

Literalists. Geez.

Carolyn Straub

San Jose, California

There’s a lot of feeling in that “Geez,” my dear reader, but I was brought up by fundamentalists who interpreted Scripture literally, or thought they did, so I have an excuse. I did say what you quoted as a joke, though. Not that you need to see it that way. And how can I look at my T-shirt “with proper distancing” when I am wearing it on my body, as I am now? Just asking.

GK

I’m 74 and you’re older so I’m writing a thank-you note while I still can and hoping it reaches you before it’s too late. 

I’ve listened to you about as religiously as I do anything since 1976, have appreciated a sense of humor that approaches New Englandish in its dryness, and try to emulate it when the mind is working quickly enough. Rhetorical questions are my favorite fodder. 

Listening to an NPR (what else?) show that asserted that half of all murders are committed by “romantic partners,” mine asks: ”How could you kill a romantic partner?”

After 50 years together, I knew that she was not asking for, and would not kindly hear, a list of methodologies. So I replied: “I don’t know dear. I haven’t killed a romantic partner … yet. But if that should change, you’ll be the first to know.”

Ed

I wish you’d written for PHC, Ed, you’re funny. I hope she feels the same way.

GK

Garrison:

Best to have left this limp “calm down” piece in the Underwood, announced that you just couldn’t pull together anything robust and coherent this week, taken the day off, and strolled in Central Park, communing with the wildlife as you enjoyed the advent of spring and thanking Olmsted and Vaux for so nicely anticipating your many needs so many years ago. Most of us would have been waiting when you returned. Next time, I recommend one of my favorite places to be reinvigorated: Central Park Zoo — but I suspect you’ve your own favorite refuges.

I do thank you for letting me ride this train for free.

My regards,

Mike Laidlaw

For a letter of rebuke, sir, this is very calm and I admire that, but there are no days off in the columnizing business, you just give it your best shot and take your chances. I would only point out that my hero George F. Will referred to the Ginni Thomas controversy as a “kerfuffle,” so I am not alone.

GK

Hi, Garrison.

Pretending to be oblivious indeed … but instead of an April Fool’s joke, how about one for Ash Wednesday? Years ago, I was working as an academic advisor at Indiana University’s South Bend campus and had attended Mass for Ash Wednesday on my way to work. As I approached the cashier in the cafeteria, a nearby student said to me, “Do you know you have dirt on your forehead?” I smiled, replied “Yes,” and walked away.

Pat McC.

Agnostics, they’re everywhere. Hard to avoid them.

GK

Garrison,

I loved the way you started your Hairy Prone Companion shows with your mellifluous vocalizing on the second half of Tishomingo Blues. I disagree with your stance that 45 should not be imprisoned. For his misdeeds he could wear a custom jumpsuit with an integral long necktie and be located in a suite in close proximity to the hair salon.

Jay, able to play jazz cornet before the stroke.

I’m starting to come around to your point of view, Jay, and good luck with your rehabilitation, and if you get the chance to hear a group called Tuba Skinny, do. New Orleans buskers, young people, a fine cornetist, washboard, tuba, the whole lineup, touring the country, and they’re doing old jazz so beautifully and with such feeling. Makes me think the future is in good hands.

GK