Post to the Host

Comments from the week of 12.17.23

GK,

I have recently begun to follow a group called Fans of the National Lampoon. Back in the late ’60s and early ’70s I used to subscribe to the magazine. I had forgotten how outrageous the humor was and how inappropriate a lot of the jokes were. Of course, I was a sophomore at the time and so sophomoric humor was made for me. But now, reading them again, I can see how “sick” a lot of it is, but I still find it funny. It was a different world then, but I miss how you could find something so funny and not worry if it offended anyone, because you weren’t pushing it at anyone else. Did you ever read the Lampoon? Given your Brethren background, I’m certain that it would have been offensive to you, or perhaps it just didn’t matter to you at that time of your life.

John R Rebillot

I didn’t read the Lampoon, maybe because I was writing humor myself and feared the comparison, maybe because I was a father and so was on the side of civility and opposed to anarchy. It’d be interesting to go back and look at it now but who has the time? Doing PHC pushed me toward an older audience and I set out to entertain them, which was a great education. Still is. I don’t see many sophomores in the audience anymore. I wish them well but they’re on their own. GK

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Respectfully to Mr. Bill Snyder of Waukee, Iowa, as someone who grew up in Indiana and lived in Chicago and Michigan, all three share Lake Michigan (along with Wisconsin) and I’m sure that Garrison saw Lake Michigan on the Lake Shore Limited as well as Lake Erie at Cleveland.

Mr. Snyder can be forgiven for the geography mistake because Iowa has apparently created their own “Great Lakes.”

Best,
Marc Turner
Charlottesville, Virginia

I was sitting on the right-hand side of the train, if that’s any help. GK

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Garrison,

Concerning this week’s columns — transcripts are like emails; they do a poor job of really communicating. Your “unfunny” transcript lacked the delivery and other contextual elements, which would have been important. In any case, no point in questioning; if people laughed, you did your job.

Speaking of which, I laughed for the better part of a minute (and several times later in the day) at your Taylor Swift horse joke, thereby proving your point about one of the differences between men and women. Thank you for that — it seems I needed a good laugh, and you gave me one.

Cheers,
Jim

You’re too kind, Jim. The transcript of my old monologue was precise and accurate and the material was not (and is not and never will be) funny. “Delivery?” Jim, I have the onstage persona of a Lutheran mortician. No, it was a dreadful monologue, and that makes me eager to do better. GK

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Dear Garrison,

Thank you for your column, How did we get into this mess? It is so true and just what I needed to hear today. Alas, it will be a while until we will have fishing shacks on Cedar and Lard Lake in Aitkin. We used to put out a spearing dark house years ago when my youngest son, Ben, was into that. One year when we were inattentive the water came up, covering the floor in six inches of ice. It took six shots from my .30-06 Mauser to fracture it enough to remove it; we turned it into a tool shed on the shore where it stood until succumbing to dilapidation 15 years later.

Men up here also need a “Deer Shack,” not just for hunting but also for a refuge of solitude. Mine has a picture window overlooking a Walden-like little pond, the bookshelf on my left contains the complete works of Ernest Hemingway, a bequest from my grandfather. 

It stands waiting for when I need it.

God bless you,

Bill Stein

You’re a lucky man, Bill Stein. I once had a writing shed in the woods of Wisconsin, with a big window looking out at a meadow where sometimes a deer would wander by, once a porcupine. It was my favorite place to work. I gave the place up in 1995 or so and still think of it from time to time. Now my work space is a table facing a wall in New York, along a thoroughfare from LR to Kit. It’s okay, I just finished writing 20,000 words of a new novel at it, but I miss my room in the Wisconsin woods, the view of paradise. GK

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GK,

I feel compelled to write. It’s about Taylor Swift. I like her stuff. I’m 55 and she could be my daughter but, nonetheless, I really enjoy her songs. To each their own. Whatever. 

But you and Taylor are cut from the same bolt of cloth. You both strike me as very hardworking, extremely unlikely to die of a drug overdose, and self-deprecating. And tall. And you are both storytellers. The reason I keep hitting the button for her on my Apple playlist is because of the stories. May I suggest you listen to the twang of “Mean”:

The catchy, upbeat riff juxtaposes with the theme of bullying — gay people, an abusive partner, and a snide circle of girls. 

I would also steer you towards “Fifteen,” which is about how a girl feels starting high school and the different issues that come up there with dating:

And then there’s her ode to her grandmother — “Marjorie”:

Love in there, but also regret. Why didn’t she appreciate her grandmother more? 

And also

I can totally see this being the thoughts of one of the waitresses in the Chatterbox Café, thinking back to a mechanic she dated a few years before.

And also “We are Never Ever Getting Back Together”:

Self-deprecating. She tells it like it is, dishes the dirt. No fake Californian blah-blah of “my life is so wonderful.” Keeps it real. She could be from Minnesota!!

Gotta run. Take care and hope everything is well.

Best wishes,

Jean Taylor

Thanks for the Swift course. I’ll listen and I hope there’s no term paper due at the end. GK

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Sir:

A musician friend of mine teaches high school students, most of whom adore TS. He has been trying to understand the attraction. “Can you name one really good song?” “They’re all great!” Not too helpful.

My niece, who got her B.A. at Merton College, Oxford, and her doctorate at Yale, teaches Shakespeare at Queen Mary University of London. She has a podcast called Studies in Taylor Swift, where she discusses such topics as Taylor Swift and Thing Theory; Taylor Swift and the New Historicism; Taylor Swift and Heteroglossia. I can’t say I follow much of this. It makes me feel like Dylan’s Mr. Jones.

I’m thinking I should reread Jerzy Kosinsky’s novel Being There.

Best,

Peter Doyle

I admire your niece for taking up Swiftian studies. If you don’t have anything new to say about Shakespeare and Milton, then why not take up Taylor? Break new ground. Brava. GK

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Dear GK,

I have been following your spiritual journey with great interest, enjoying your openness on the subject. From your start as a member of the Sanctified Brethren and now to the Episcopal Church where you are moved by “The exchange of peace and Holy Communion.” Have you ever considered “Crossing the Tiber” and becoming a Catholic à la Chesterton? (Another G.K.!) To leave the Ingqvists and join the Krebsbachs?

I am reminded of the old story of the Methodist lady who landed in LaGuardia and said to the cabbie, “Take me to God’s house!” The cabbie took her to St. Patrick’s Cathedral; she indignantly said, “What’s this?” He replied, “Lady, if He ain’t here, He ain’t in town!”

I bet Cardinal Dolan would enjoy visiting with you about your thoughts and concerns about the Church.

God bless you on your journey,

Bill Stein

Interesting idea, sir, but at my Episcopal church there are two women priests, Kate and Julie, and there is a rightness about this that is unmistakable to us parishioners. They bring something to God’s people that we need. Still waiting for the Catholics to catch up. GK

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Great joke about Taylor Swift’s thoroughbred. Somehow it reminded me of the one where a guy in a bar overhears some women speaking accented English, and says, “Pardon me, are you ladies from Britain?” They say, “Wales” and he says, “Oh, so sorry, pardon me. Are you whales from Britain?”

Bill Link

Good try, but I didn’t laugh. Try again. GK

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I enjoy all your communications immensely, with the possible exception of the stray comment here and there about the “con man” — wouldn’t it be better to give this person less publicity than more? I think the constant media attention (particularly on the left) is one of the main reasons he got elected.

Michael Roe

Okay, then I won’t comment on your post for fear it will encourage him. GK

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Dear Mr. Keillor,

I am a regular reader of your daily and weekly columns. I found today’s column Our Plans for Christmas and Why to bring back many memories.

On July 23, 1996, our precious daughter Kimberly Sharfstein passed away from rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of pediatric cancer. She was diagnosed two weeks after graduating from Denison University. She graduated Phi Beta Kappa, summa cum laude. Her entire life lay ahead of her.

Throughout her illness, she became a teacher and role model of courage to all who were part of her life.

The Christmas after Kimberly died was extremely difficult. She loved the holiday with a passion. Our family — Cindy, my wife, daughters de Alyssa and Amy (23 and 19 at the time) decided to go on a cruise. It felt like the right thing to do to help us through the Holiday season.

We had time to spend with each other, to share stories that allowed us to cry and laugh.

Today’s column allowed me cry and laugh … all necessary as being human …

My very best to you and your family on your upcoming cruise. I hope it is filled with Grace.

Jerry Sharfstein
Rockport, Massachusetts

The voyage so far is all we hoped it would be, relaxing, time to hang out together, hike around the deck in gentle seas, heading south, the weather getting warmer. Family is so important but it can be fragile too — mine has been riven by political animosity, doctrinal differences, and also neglect, and it sounds like yours was pulled together by this unimaginable tragedy. But you and I are stoics, we look forward, we live in the present, we let regrets drift away. Happy 2024, my man. GK

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Dear Mr. Keillor,

I just wanted to say thank you for your podcast, which I stumbled on recently. I experienced your radio show many years ago when I was living in Larchmont, New York, whilst working at the U.N. for the British Government. I consider myself lucky that I have travelled and worked all over the world and have a somewhat eclectic background. (I have a sister born in Libya, a brother born in Germany. I was born in Ireland, and my daughter was born in New York). I loved Alistair Cooke’s Letter from America, which went on for 50 odd years, once weekly, on the BBC World Service. A masterpiece of storytelling filled with despair, confusion, and pain over man’s inhumanity to man.

I hope you have still many years left to “talk” to us. I listen to you whilst walking my dog around Salisbury plain (I live about 15 minutes away from Stonehenge).

A very merry Christmas to you and a happy new year, and once again, thank you.

Rob Mason

I too hope I have some years left and I also hope that someone will tell me when it’s time to shut up and go sit in a sunny corner. I was talking to an audience in New York once, a club down on the Hudson, and a man shouted at me, “Be funnier!” and I’m trying, sir. I really am trying. GK

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Garrison,

Regarding your recent column: How can you say you lead a “small life” when you’re traveling across the country to perform for hundreds of people at a time? Most of us don’t get up in front of crowds to do what you do — you’re a famous person, and I assume you know that. I don’t think you have any idea what it’s like to have a “small life.” Sounds a bit false to me, or perhaps delusional.

Marilyn Tansen

Detroit, Michigan

Marilyn, I live in a bubble, I am a writer and live in my own head, I am not well-read, and my friends are mostly people like me. My cousin the doctor, my niece the nurse, my sister the church activist, have much wider and more diverse lives than I do. The guys who deliver pizza on their e-bikes in New York have much more adventurous lives. I miss the days when I hung out with small-town people who farmed, built, repaired, worked with their hands, and who talked about their personal experience. Nowadays most of the conversation I hear is about opinion. I’m tired of hearing people talk about how much they despair of DJT. I’d rather hear about fishing, canoeing, anything. GK

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To Garrison,

But homemade waffles taste better and are worth the effort. Make extra and freeze your own.

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Regards,

Philip Norton CISM, CFCP, PMP, CSQE, CMMC RP

Excellent advice and now I have to decode your credentials. Chief Inspector of Small Mammals, I recognize and Commander of Furry Canadian Porpoises, and I’m working on the others. GK

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