72 Comments

What's wrong with living with raccoons? When I was a child I had one as a pet and he was a hoot. They have the personality of a dog and the dexterity of a monkey

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You'd have my vote! Your description of Joe's problem (or any lifelong politician's) is dead-on.

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Thanks for those comments, Garrison, and good luck with your medical procedure.

Yes, they say that as long as there is life there is hope. I often think that the best part of my life has gone by. But I am not completely sure. We don't know what is coming in the future. It could be bigger and better than anything that I have experienced.

A note on fungi -- truffles are from fungi. Some people say that truffles are the "diamonds of the kitchen." So fungi cover a broad range from toenails to French kitchens.

A note on the Senate. Most of the work of being a Senator is in getting elected the first time. We are getting a new Senator and she just a few months ago won the republican primary. That means for practical purposes that she is elected since she has only token opposition from a Democrat in the general election. If she can serve her first six year term without messing up, then she is home free and will probably stay in the Senate as long as she wants to. We tend to elect our Senators for life.

Our other Senator is a former football coach who was also probably elected for life. Why would someone chose to be a Senator rather than a Big Name football coach? Surely there is much more honest money in coaching college (Auburn University) football than being a Senator.

You hit the nail on the head when you said that being a Senator is like being a professional Shriner. Who needs the aggravation? I like Joe, but Joe Biden's years in the Senate were poor training to be a good President.

I am delighted to hear that your shows are doing well and that you are going to the Town Hall in New York. I remember many good PHC shows on radio that came from the Town Hall. Any plans to do a show from the Fitzgerald theater?

The best answer to critics and naysayers is to be a success. So go on with your shows and continue the success.

Best wishes to one and all.

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You got my vote! As long as you keep telling stories and clarifying the truth for us.

Stories grounded in the "Big T" never grow old. Nor does experience. Long may you be the purveyor of both, Garrison!

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founding

Mr. Keillor,

Does this mean you will start wallowing in self pity? Are you going to start grunting, or must I? Better to squeal.

Love,

d.

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Sir- you absolutely would have my vote, those of my closest friends, and I believe all but one of my relations. The one relation and I have been estranged for about 7 years now. The first breach was when he came to visit some years ago and saw the Obama campaign sign on my lawn and then learned I was an active campaigner. It has only gotten worse over the years. Since he is not (and never has been, to my knowledge) gainfully employed, he may very well have been with the "patriots" on Jan. 6 but his name has not yet popped up in the news. Wishing you all the best with your procedure.

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Those are some sneaky visual puns at the end there Garrison! Even for you! We'd love to have you for President. Or even for breakfast. Or just for a walk on the Community Trail. Your Presidence would surely drive away the evil fascists and wrong-doers world-wide, even as it has done in fictitious towns in Minnesota.

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There is a big difference between you and sleepy Joe. While he has been in the senate since it was first founded and has been telling us fictional stories that long, his presence has done nothing for any of us. Whereas your fictional stories entertain us, fill us with joy and melancholy for a place we miss, that we've never been to and never existed. You tell us heartwarming stories of people who have lives like us, who have problems like us and who care about each other. Unlike fungus, pigs and Joe. Though good intentions may exist, fungus, pigs and Joe don't care.

Don't run for president, we like you and your stories. All my best to you as you endure your upcoming harpooning.

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We’ve already had someone who had no experience in government or how to serve people and look who we ended up with in 2016. I’d rather have a Democrat any day who has served the people. And have you seen pictures of the previous guy golfing last week? That’s a strong, active man? At least Biden didn’t have to take a helicopter to the hospital when he had covid. And we didn’t have to spend almost a million dollars trying to make him better as we did for the previous guy. Yes, they spent almost one million dollars trying to make the previous guy better. Joe didn’t go to the hospital at all. Please stop with the negatives about Joe Biden when all he does is help us.

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I have a hundred things to do before we drive 100 miles to an airport this morning, but I read your column anyway, and I'm so happy that I did. You touched all the bases of my unease, and I thank you.

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Best wishes for your upcoming procedure and thanks too from us out here who appreciate the sacrifice of the Iowa hog, and hogs over the years who've given so much in so many useful and delicious forms. Heal well! Be kind to the nurses especially, for it is they who really run the place!!

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Aug 3, 2022·edited Aug 3, 2022

Golly gee, Garrison K - If you get a hog heart you won't be kosher!

But be assured, I'm hoping for a successful surgery and a speedy and healthy recovery!

And I'm really enjoying your daily ramblings!

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Best of luck in the procedure. I love your take on it. Come out with super powers and use those powers to rescue us like so many comics tell.

Be Well and accept my best wishes.

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Pigs are noble beasts - your porcine mitral valve donor will do you good.

I vaguely remembered a quote about noble pigs, but couldn't remember where I saw it, so I went googling for it. I failed to find what I was looking for, but found this instead:

“A pig is a jolly companion,

Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt--

A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,

Though mountains may topple and tilt.

When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,

When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,

Though you may be thrown over by Tabby or Rover,

You'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,

You'll never go wrong with a pig!”

― Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow

Good luck with your valve replacement - we'll all be cheering you on! :)

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Sorry you have to have that surgery, but I think you’ll survive. In case you don’t, thanks for all the ideas and laughs and generally good feelings you’ve brought me for many years. 😘

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Go for it, Garrison! (And meanwhile, godspeed out of the hospital...)

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