10 Comments

I hate to tell you Garrison, but you could have picked any suit and whether it looked good or bad, there would be women in the audience who would say "How could his wife left him . . . . .? " Some women are just naturally critical of everything and everybody. They have been critical their whole lives and it is a habit that is so engrained that they can do it without thinking. Down through the years I have known some who were like that.

That is why I am careful not to be too critical or negative about things. Although there is a lot in the world that one could be negative about. You can get into the habit of being critical and negative and you start to do it without thinking. It would be easy to become an old crank who complains all the time.

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One reason that some people are critical is that they are critical of anything that was not their idea. When I worked there were people on staff who would be very critical of any new proposal that they did not put forward. In that situation you need to make your boss or critical colleagues think that this new idea was their idea. Then they will say that it is great. You never know what you will encounter when dealing with people.

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I should not pick on the women; I know a few cranky old men who complain all the time about everything.

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I find your comment, “I would no more touch her arm than I’d play with a loaded pistol.” amusing and identifiable. An action like a light assuring touch from a man to a woman can be made into the makings of felony aggravated assault if that’s how the touch is received. The best course of action is, “Don’t touch.”

My suggestion of a better action is to compliment or assure a strange or unrelated woman is to smile and to say kind words. Great story.

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your writing contains the energy of a young man, so stop kvetching about old age!

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Myrna, my dear, I am a happy old man. It's a stretch for me to kvetch.

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"I accept that males have become fringe figures with no particular authority in everyday life." DON'T! Who was it, Auden? who said "This is the way the world ends; not with a bang but a whimper."

Rhythm! Have you ever been in an observatory with a really tall ceiling? I forget where, but there's one with a huge pendulum that they've marked it's arc off with bowling-like pins. The ball knocks one over after the other, as the earth rotates in its orbit. And when it knocks all the pins down, someone comes in and sets them up again. Currently our societal gender pendulum seems to have some momentum in one direction. It can sweep hard enough to knock a few pins down. But the time is coming when we'll have to put some pins back up, unless we want to get stuck with no norms or customs or guidelines at all!

If you ask me, this is the time to involve broad-minded folks such as yourself in meaningful discussions about "Where can we go from here?" in terms of creating more equality in the gender playing field. It's abundantly clear, from the cast and nature of the citizens of Lake Woebegon, that you're an especially qualified expert in the psychological quirks of folks who come from all along the nonbinary gender scale!

How do we maximize our natural abilities, to take advantage of unique skills and utilize them to their fullest, rather than shaming some for not having similar gifts. An example comes to my mind immediately. While working for an oil company, I would sit in on geological talks when I could. One fellow, a geologist, would listen to the talk, view the slides, then pop it into the visual computer in his right brain. When he began telling us what he alone was seeing, his hands would flow, drawing underground formations in the air, connecting layer by layer, horizontally and vertically. I'd sit there. "Green with envy" didn't even begin to describe my sense of absence, of loss, of futility - that I just didn't have it up there to amass all that visual information, collate it, and come out with a clear mental/visual image that I could actually "SEE!"

We weren't all given the same gifts. I've heard, that if you go to the United Nations and look at the rank of interpreters there, they tend to be predominantly female. It's not 100% true, of course. A man who has grown up in several different linguistic traditions can also be a fair interpreter. I've met a few who also make me green with envy.

There are tendencies toward certain abilities that do seem to have gender-based elements. Some women may be more detailed than men. On the other hand, men are often physically stronger . So, when redecorating the house, the man stands on a chair and holds the painting over the fireplace mantle. The woman stands back and says "A little to the left. Now up a bit."

Maybe, in a nutshell, that's the trick. To really accomplish a full job, we need input from both sides of the gender aisle. We need to bow to the expertise of those with greater vision, on the one hand, but also contribute to the practical aspects of it. For example, we need to examine who is going to be doing the job on a regular basis. If it's someone who likes predictability, try to go for a uniform set of procedures. If it's someone who's easily bored, try to include the possibility of "new discoveries." The important thing is, to find ways to feel involved - to feel some ownership - to feel personally invested. Not because of some abstract gender assignment like "That's women's work", but because it appeals to you.

I recall some Thanksgiving incidents In Lake Woebegon when you've cooked the turkey. Bravo! It's a weighty subject. The process can be dangerous - with hot fat in the pan and so forth. I love to hear your turkey stories! They come from you as a person, not from someone of one gender or the other.

Perhaps, as we loosen up about gender assignments as a society, males won't worry so much about becoming "fringe figures" in everyday life! Who knows? Maybe a century from now, folks will be looking back at when the "Men's Lib" movement began, and cite A Prairie Home Companion as an early voice for equality!

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Hi Mr. Keillor: Shoot, 79 is the new 78 1/4. I'm 83 and mentioned you in my blog which I hope you cruise, it's www.wisesculpture.com/blog and it also has a list of 100 things to do and not to do to live to 100. Ferlinghetti made it to 101, and was accomplishing all the way.

I'd be honored if you'd sign up. Then I could say Blog To The Stars. There's a sign up form that pops up when you go there. You might like it. It's free. I'm not famous enough or prolific enough to have tiered entry levels. And I only blog about once a month. So it's settled. You'll sign up? Of course.

Thanks. Great to have you. BTW you are mentioned in this particular new blog. It's a thank you for compiling "Good Poems, American Places." GREAT collection!

Also, while there, take a look at the welded steel sculpture. From Resume Speed, Kansas, where the bales are round, the people are square and some of the welders are poets. (sorry, you're kind of an influence)

With great anticipation, GW

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I am 78 and in reading this I could see my Grandfather who was a Conductor on the Seaboard Air Line RR in his blue three piece uniform with gold buttons shouting out "All Aboard". Everyone on the entire platform would jump to !!

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"I wish I had an authoritative moment or two in my life" - maybe you do, but there are many of us out there who appreciate the other aspects of your personality far more. Authoritative men are a dime a dozen. When they have a fixed idea , they can have annoying tunnel vision.

On the other hand, there's the Garrison Keillor we know and love! I'm thinking right now of a scene in the APHC movie. Lindsay Lohen is heartbroken over the loss of a fellow actor. You sit on the step beside her, listen to her grief, and console her in a most sympathetic fashion! I'm sure there are many women among us who value good listening skills and sympathy in men, much more than an ability to raise their voices or "Look out for themselves, above all else!"

Please! Don't wish to improve on perfection! Our world could do with many, many more sympathetic, understanding MEN, just like you!

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