183 Comments

Laughing so hard, Iā€™m crying. Thank you GK šŸ’™.

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Call me a "conspiratorial kook" and an unhinged nut job; but if I (and I think most people) had been shot, even "merely" grazed in the ear, I would be down on the floor with, hopefully, my Secret Service body guards on top of me. In other words I would most adamantly NOT be walking tall with my head fully exposed, provocatively pumping my fist in the air for photo ops that rightly have been compared to the six US marines hoisting the flag atop Mt. Kiribatsu on Iowa Jima signaling the end of WWll in the Pacific in 1945. (The two atomic bombs, completely unnecessary against a civilian population, were a warning to Stalin to not get any "funny" ideas.)

Was this event a photo opp to assure Trump's reelection come November? Others have said it was the Dem's. (or some faction therein) desperate bid to eliminate a guy who they just can't get rid of like a whore trying to get rid of a bad case of the clap.

Either way, there seems to be much more to this event than some half-witted kid clambering on roof tops while both civilians and the police looked on. Didn't JFK's assassination 61 years ago teach us that the "patsy" has to be "offed" before he has a chance to talk. (As Lee Harvey Oswald said just before Jack Ruby killed him, "I'm a patsy!") Could this unfortunate young man have been the scapegoat, fall-guy who, once eliminated would quiet the public's demand for answers. Now that the alleged shooter, Crooks is gone, there won't be any public demand for inquiries into who fired shots from the water tower. Just as fingering Oswald thwarted the public's demand to know about the several other shots coming from other directions.

If anyone still thinks Crooks was a "lone-nut" I still have that Bridge in Brooklyn available. (Although it's been sold many times to many others. For some reason it's still there; so just write me a check. Made out to "BlackRock" hedge fund. Hell, they own everything anyway.)

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Your sick.

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You misspelled you're. Idiot.

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Did that make you feel more manly???

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No. But it made me feel more intelligent (not that that is saying much) than you.

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That is doubtful

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Did you even start out knowing the difference between your and(checks notes)youā€™re?

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Maybe the period was premature and the thought not complete? Iā€™ll help finish it: Your sick mind has conjured up a scenario that is completely detached from reality.

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Chip-off-the-old-block. Are you a moron? Or are you an idiot? Or maybe both wrapped into one big block of dumb sh*t.

Try paying attention instead of sleeping in the back of the classroom. You might (or might not) learn something. Then again some people are just to obdurate and stupid to understand anything beyond learning to tie their shoes rather late in life.

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If you scroll down to Moone Boyā€™s take, youā€™ll see that you and I are on the same team with the same political hopes and objectives (I assume). Or maybe not. Perhaps youā€™re just an unhinged nut job (your words). Regardless, you come across as a crass bully, not so different than Trump. Condescending people with zero tolerance for those with opposing perspectives are more likely the cause of the assassination attempt than any inside job on the republicanā€™s part. The young man who attempted to murder the former president was a loner, relentlessly bullied by classmates. Maybe his motive was to become a hero (in his mind) by taking out the biggest bully of them all? I think thatā€™s more plausible than the idea that a man died (the firefighter attempting to protect his family) along with the shooter, while two others were critically injured during a staged assassination attempt. The scenario youā€™ve dreamt up and shared is about as harmful as anything articulated by Alex Jones regarding Sandy Hook. Itā€™s embarrassingly stupid.

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@Tom Herzog:

You, also, misspelled a word, in your last reply:

It should be, *too obdurate.

In closing, please, kindly, consider discontinuing the way you easily name-call folks "morons, idiots, and etcetera";

it's simply childish to type/say those cruel elementary-school bully-like words.

React with kindness, and love, in your future replies, despite what others may say to you.

Thank you.

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I agree that this young man, who clearly had many serious issues, was a patsy of gun cultureā€¦yes in the olden days, when we hunted for food, your first, and only, gun was a life event. Now we have households with 10ā€™s, even hundreds of gunsā€¦there is an AR-like gun for 1/20 people in the US, and since 60% of households have no gun, this tells you a lot about the fetishized gun culture of a few.

So no conspiracy, unless inaction counts.

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You've bought into the American establishment meme that "there are no conspiracies." Only lone nuts, acting alone. The American establishment absolutely LOVES complacent sheep like you. You will buy anything they sell you. Go for it, man. Just stay away from me.

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I have a feeling that most people kindly oblige your request to stay away from you. Judging from your comments in this thread, youā€™re the Substack equivalent of a deranged homeless person shouting at cars from a dumpster.

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My friendly clown person. I have intelligent friends. I only ask that YOU and that idiots, morons and half wits such as you stay away from me and stay out of my sight.

You're an idiot. Go crawl under a rock or go somewhere else. Chip. Moron.

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Gladly. Crawling under a rock is a simple as closing the screen on my laptop. It's freeing.

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If ANYONE had the wherewithal to do this or anything like it, they would done it in private with as few witnesses as possible. Certainly big organizations like government or either of the political parties, all of whom are flushed with cash and willing co-conspirators or at the very least desperate employees could accomplish this without a paper trail of any sort. Yet they NEVER do it. If they could, this would be happening much more frequently. And they certainly would have - with far fewer resources, personnel and effort - done it in private. Had trump slip in the shower, bleed out in the tub, choke on a whopper, acquire and die from food poisoning or Covid. There are about two dozen scenarios that are a thousand times more likely than using a disturbed 20 year old who is a better shot than most, but not good enough. Pro assassins are no doubt available to make one clean, lethal shot with one dead victim. How many people died in Kennedy's assassination? One. That's a pro.

Not that your idea is impossible. Ot just seems so improbable. It's just that whoever wanted him dead would have used far better resources than the ones they did and would have accomplished the goal.

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Youā€™re a conspiratorial kook.

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Agreed. Once I saw the video I turned to my husband and said, ā€œstaged.ā€ If we know one thing about Trump, we know heā€™s a bad actor. Remember the upside down bible? If you gave the guy poison, he couldnā€™t act sick.

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There once was a Trump on the stump,

Who faced a most dangerous bump.

A shot rang out loud,

But he stood tall and proud,

And his poll numbers took quite a jump

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Brilliant

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I'm a big fan, Mr. Keillor, but this isn't over yet, and there are a lot of us out there trying to keep our spirits up enough to weather this storm, regain our footing, and put up a good fight. After all that's happened, the polls are amazingly stable, basically 50/50. It's still up in the air. Your column demoralizes, and I wish you'd waited till later in the campaign to make such pronouncements.

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Have you looked at the Real Clear Politics average of all polls?ā€¦It is not 50/50ā€¦Trump is ahead in every critical battle ground state by 3 to 7 pointsā€¦he does not have to win the popular vote though he is leading that by over 3,pointsā€¦he only has to win the electorial collegeā€¦Biden has been and is in denial about the pollsā€¦he just canā€™t understand why everybody does not love himā€¦try 2 to 3 times higher mortgage rates, gas $1 or more per gallon higher, 10,000,000 plus illegal aliens some living in $300 a night hotels with new IPhones and debit cards while veterans are homelessā€¦

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Welcome to Amerika. The rich (capitalist) get rich and the poor (working class) get poorer. How much longer are you going to buy into the myth that America is some sort of an equitable, fair society? If one is born poor here, for the vast majority, one stays poor.

Where is the wealth of the aproximately 30 Trillion dollar a year America economy going? It's going to the top one or two percent.

Have you ever seen a "disparity of wealth" chart for this country? If you stacked a pile of loose leaf paper eight feet high to the ceiling of a room, that would be equal to the wealth of each of the top one or two percent. The average American on the other hand would have about the height of one loose leaf page on the floor. The disparity of wealth is beyond comprehension and most people don't even have an inkling of it. They think the rich are maybe 300 or 400 times more wealthy than they are when in fact the truly rich are millions of times more wealthy than the average American. And the wealth of the rich was stolen from the working class; it wasn't earned by intelligence or hard work. It was taken by theft.

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Remember the red tsunami of 2022? I think you underestimate how much the majority of Americans despise our felonious, rapist, swindling, insurrectionist former liar-in-chief. He's not someone who can ever unify this country. And by the way, he blocked bipartisan border measures because he wanted to keep the border as a political issue. But when you're a star, PoppiRowe lets you do it. PoppiRowe lets you do anything.

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Idiocy and intentional ignorance that Biden is responsible for these data, especially the price of gas, which is based on the worldwide price of crude, which has been distorted because of the Ukraine war.

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Bidenā€™s domestic energy policies had the most significant impact on domestic energy pricesā€¦the Ukraine war started on Bidenā€™s watch so to the extent the war has impacted domestic energy prices Biden gets the blame. Biden flooded the market place with too much money chasing too few goods and drove the inflation rate from 1.4% to 9% which caused the fed to raise interest rates and drive up mortgage rates. Biden on day one opened the border and is totally responsible for the impacts on American communities, the deaths caused by criminal illegals allowed to cross the border, the sex trafficking, and drugs flooding across the border. But I guess since Biden has been sucking eggs off the US tax payer for over 50 years he shouldnā€™t be held accountable for anything.

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You and others have no concept on energy prices. And Trump would have prevented the Ukraine war? After he told his buddy go for it? Dream on. The influx of money was necessary to recover from the COVID depression and note that it was spread over ten years, repairing infrastructure, etc., (which Trump said he'd do, fat chance). Data on the deaths? Most drugs do not come across the border, at least not with the undocumented.

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When Biden took office the economy was already recovering. Inflation was at 1.4 percent. The unemployment rate had dropped to near 6 percent and was steady coming down. Gas was around $2 a gallon and mortgage rates were around 3%. Had Biden just left things alone the economy would have continued to recover. He juiced the economy and caused inflation we are still dealing with. What do you have to say to the familyā€™s who have had loved ones killed by illegalā€™s with criminal records that were knowingly allowed to cross the border? Tainted fentanyl comes across the southern border from the drug cartels and it kills. A closed border would make it more difficult to smuggle across. Biden should have been impeached along time ago for his dereliction of duty in securing the southern border. Pitiful leader.

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Biden will end his candidacy within a few days, the news cycle will turn the publicā€™s attention, and the pendulum will move in the other direction. I wouldnā€™t concede the race just yet.

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that's what's up

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Good morning, Garrison. Thanks. rroeder

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If the Democrats have lost this election it's because they have gone on an 8-year screaming binge of being anti-Trump, rather than being pro-man-or-woman-on-the-street. They were full of conspiracy theories about stolen elections, and more than willing to egg-on rioters - and let's be really honest about relentless Trump-Hitler comparisons: assassination by unhinged losers - when it suited them. Now the chickens come home to roost. I felt genuinely sympathetic, on a personal level, when I heard about Hilary taking a walk in the woods after she lost - and that's the last time I have ever felt anything warm towards a person who has relentlessly refused to accept any responsibility for her own campaign's and party's establishment, abandonment of Democratic core votes and values attached to working stiffs. We are now faced with the absurdity of actual American oligarchs in the form of super-donors, trying to dictate a voter-free process of selecting the Democratic nominee, despite their party already stitching up the entire previous voting process to select him free of any challengers. Trump is just the symptom of a rotten establishment - he's not even the disease. He's a garish brick being thrown through a lace-curtained window out of protest, and I'm not even going to criticise people who vote for him anymore.

And:

- we've been dealing with the fallout of political patronage over expertise for 4 years already - at the very least there's an investigation to be made whether incompetence resulted in Trump's almost-assassination., for example;

- we've been dealing for 4 years with the functional banning and censorship of investigative reporting already - and outright gaslighting about everything from Nordstream to Hunter Biden. It's particularly ironic to mention Sweden as a refuge, considering what they did for Assange.

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Too bad youā€™re brilliant analysis is wasted upon a bunch of people who donā€™t realize that they have been and are still being lied too.

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Bravo!

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The screaming binge was in reaction to a man who has done more to damage democracy and dissolve long held political norms than any other person in U.S. history. Unlike the republicans, democrats have been and continue to be ā€œpro-man-or-woman-on-the-streetā€ by focusing on issues that actually matter to the average citizen rather than cultural war fodder. The Trump-Hitler comparisons are based on Trumpā€™s own words that reflect his reverence for other authoritarian/fascist leaders. You mention political patronage over expertiseā€¦ Trump fired experts in his cabinet and replaced them with sycophants and family members - regardless of experience - every other day during his administration. My comments are not subjective. Each one can be proven out with factual information. I havenā€™t and will not celebrate the fact that an assassin attempted to end Trumpā€™s life. This will not stop me from pointing out that Trump holds the lionā€™s share of blame for inciting hate and intolerance through violent rhetoric, causing the divisiveness that has now come full circle to impact him directly.

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As you're talking about factual information: pretty much every (at least general) category of fault you've accused him of, I've been watching, amazed, unfold in real time as the modus operandi of the Democratic Party and the political establishment in general, since before he was first elected. I'm not defending him or the Republicans - and that's something the collective screaming binge could not, would not accept. To use just one of many examples: both parties have had there own magnetic pole reversals on Free Speech - when it suits their immediate purposes on any specific issue, they jettison it. And the best one-liner about Trump is "he provides B-S- solutions to real problems". I'm at the end stage of Animal Farm, looking from one to the other. You're not wrong about culture war fodder either.

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Full agreement. When elected, Trump did not fully dissociate himself from his shady empire. He put it in the hands of his family and then invited them into the White House. Business (shady and worse) as usual for mafia-style Don.

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THESE are Putin's talking points.

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Š”ŠæŠ°ŃŠøŠ±Š¾ Š¾Ń‚ Š²ŃŠµŠ³Š¾ сŠµŃ€Š“цŠ° Šø Š“ушŠø.

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"Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul". To be clear, you're proud of the comparison to Putin?

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This would be an example of humourously over-amplifying an accusation, for the purpose of deflecting that exaggerated accusation.

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Or, I typed your response into Google to translate it. I posted the result. What are you going on about?

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I know what you did - that's where I got the translation. You asked a question, and I answered it once; but for a second time - instead of me getting offended, I replied with sarcastic exaggeration.

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Mixed bag reply, the accusations against the Ds are fallacious and conspiracy theories, therefore projection. Biden and his policies are pro-those on the street, Trump and his cult are not, even though they say they are.

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They're not fallacious - which would require some kind of logical contradiction; they're not conspiracy theories - I'm referring to things right out there in the open, and I've been trying to hear some justification for years now; and it really doesn't follow that it would be projection anyway... since I'm neither a Republican nor a Conservative. I'm not trying to be a smart-alec; I don't want to argue with people who evidently love some of the same things I do (e.g. the product of our host); and I don't even like some of the response in favour of what I'm saying that's done in an unneighbourly way - nor being a potential provocation of it. I'm just trying to get across, that you can't put yourself in other regular people's shoes, if your first response is to call them Hitler or Putin.

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And you can't get across to the people not in your cult by insulting many and regurgitating lies.

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I'm just trying to make points without needlessly calling anyone names or making insinuations about their character. Politicians step into the boxing ring knowing they're going to get punches, so have at it. But I don't think I've tried to insult you or anyone else here - and that's a falsehood to say otherwise. And again: I'm neither a Trump nor Republican party supporter, and simply slapping that label on anyone who dissents, is part of the very problem I'm talking about. Hope you have a better week, and take care.

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Stick to facts, hope you have a good week too.

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Your joke is possibly the best since Will Rogersā€™ comment about not being a member of an organized political party. Bravo.

Oh, and take comfort in the fact the USA has survived 46 presidents.

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Thank you, Garrison. I woke up feeling quite depressed, then I read your column. ā€œBlessed are those who weep now, for they shall laugh.ā€

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Pray harder. But if our prayer is not met, perhaps it's not meant to be met. Perhaps there's a burden meant to be borne by us, even by those of us in Lake Woebegon. The good news is that good will win and we will then understand.

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Yes pray to a real god, to one who doesnā€™t admire avatars but real people, working hard to make it a better placeā€¦no grieving for a Christian America. WWJD has become WWDDoo. And I was hoping they would wear tinfoil over their earsā€¦just me.

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"Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the thing that are God's." Look at the coins and bills, and we will have our answers....

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Remember the Confederacy was organized in just five months after the 1860 election.

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When faced by a Gish Gallop like the one Trump employed, you can either try to refute every point, point by point, an impossibility, or you can simply look at your opponent, calmly say "Everything you've just said is a lie" and then go on to make your own case.

#2 is better.

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Agreed. The rate of lies in the 2nd half of last night's speech was the highest ever.

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That photograph could not have been more perfect if it had been staged. Photographer ready despite the danger, flag waving above, defiant martyr standing tall.

Was it staged? Regardless, there it isā€¦ā€¦ā€¦

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Garrison,

Please do not give up. There is hope. If this election has taught me anything, it is that things change quickly.

To be quite frank, I am a conservative leaning independant. When I hear a candidate aligning himself with God, I get scared. And it is hard to believe that does not offend, or otherwise scare, other God fearing individuals. I think other thinking independants will react similarly. This is the hope I speak of.

I feel it is necessary that you write about politics. But please keep sending the occasional column that has no mention of politics. For those are soul food.

Please take care.

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Trying so hard this morning not to be depressed. This is helping a bit.

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Just when I thought your writing couldnā€™t be any more ridiculous, youā€™ve surpassed expectations. Wow. Not an iota of compassion for a man who was within a quarter inch of death. Says a lot about you. You profess to be so caring and committed to your faith. I suppose Trump is the exception to that perception.

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You are spot on

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Nope.

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And Trump is committed to a faith? Any faith? A wolf in sheep's clothing. GK ridiculous? Projection on your part.

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Mr. Cook, your sense of humor has left the building. I assume at one time you had one since you have read Mr. Keillor's writing(s). I came here knowing full well that reading anything written by him would cause at least half a smile. He's never failed me in that regard. You, on the other hand, are a downer.

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People who know about high-power rifles tell me that if the bullet had touched the man's ear, it would've done horrible damage. Some people were struck by flying glass from a teleprompter and other electronic gear hit by bullets. Perhaps your man was one of them. But he very much wanted it to be a bullet and the press has not questioned this. It's only important in that the man makes so much of his scratched ear. It's, frankly, ridiculous. He should thank God and let that be the end of it. And the kissing of the dead fireman's helmet on a stage? That, you should admit, was bizarre.

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When Billy Graham was 92 years-old, he was struggling with Parkinson's disease. In January, a month before his 93rd birthday, leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son, Billy Graham to a luncheon in his honor.

Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because of his struggles with Parkinson's disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, 'We don't expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you.' So he agreed.

After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the podium, looked at the crowd, and said:

"I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train, when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets.

It wasn't there.He looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

"The conductor said, ā€œDr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.ā€ Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car,he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

"The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are; no problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'Einstein looked at him and said, ā€œYoung man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going."

Having said that Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I'm wearing? It's a brand new suit. My children, and my grandchildren are telling me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion. You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you to remember this:

"I not only know who I am. I also know where I'm going." May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness, come through your door. "Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."

May each of us have lived our lives so that when our ticket is punched we don't have to worry about where we are going.

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I know you are trying to be measured and reasonable. Who really cares if Trumpā€™s wound was caused by flying glass or an actual bullet? The fact remains that he was fired upon (assassination attempt) and several bullets managed to kill one person and wound several others. What is your focus? The shooterā€™s aim and whether or not Trump is staging an injury less severe than it could have been? And yes ā€œfatalā€ was one of the possibilities. Really think about that perspective. As to the kissing of the dead manā€™s helmet, I loved it. Do you believe it may have meant something to the dead manā€™s family? That is the important consideration. Again really think about that. I realize that hate often clouds good judgement; the only thing which I find bizarre is your response.

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