96 Comments
User's avatar
Graham's avatar

Garrison, as I mentioned once before, you have either drank too many glasses of a strange brew, or you had one too many covid jabs. Unfortunately part of your brain has become addled. Just stick to your humor. That you are good at.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Suck it up, snowflake.

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Timothy H Corrigan's avatar

get a brain, efe. Snowflakes fall from the sky in a cold and untrammeled season of rest. Violence, belches from a smokestake of burning waste, lifting its poisons above the living but, ultimately settling and suffocating those who accept that which ultimately kills.

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Christine's avatar

I understand. The truth is hard to swallow. Don't blame Garrison.

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Graham's avatar

Who' truth I we talking about? It seems to be more of an opinion to me.

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reality speaks's avatar

Graham don’t waste your energy on them. They are lost.

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Dana's avatar

Says the conspiracy theorist who's told us about his "side gig" selling cats to China for food, ranted about other people's gender and insisted that RFK Jr. is the only politician willing to tell us the truth. Oh, and he's also seen a video of Haitians eating American pets. Don't criticize his spelling or grammar, though, because that would be "so unkind you don't even know."

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reality speaks's avatar

so glad to see you again today Dana. I do leave rent free in your head.

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Dana's avatar

Yes, thank you for leaving, as you say.

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Dana's avatar

P.S. I'm still waiting for you to explain your "side gig" selling cats to China for food. Where were you living, because certainly it would be prohibitively expensive for China to buy cats from the United States? And such a "gig" would almost certainly be illegal in the U.S.

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Dana's avatar

P.P.S. I did not accept your private message. You can post any responses here.

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Lee Adams's avatar

Gee, I think he's very good at this. I think he's made some salient points here. Except for the eating of pork, I agree with him. And he's made those points with the same quiet, intelligent humor he has always shared with us. What are you good at?

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Good last line, sir. I await his answer.

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Graham's avatar

Too many things you would never agree with.

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Penny Hinson's avatar

Great question. I anxiously await his reply

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Could you be more specific?

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Graham's avatar

If you would just preface your ides with IMO then it would at least be more correct.

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Michele M Potter's avatar

Well, I guess the specifics never came up, so please continue, Garrison...

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Could you elaborate in some specific way so I know you read the column? Thanks.

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BurbFarmer's avatar

I think this column is humorous. Isn't satire a form of humor?

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Graham's avatar

This isn't satire!

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Dana's avatar

Graham, do you really not understand that, for example, "The problem is that we need a King, and the Occupant is the person for the job," is satire? You have your own Substack? What do you write about there?

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Dana's avatar

Graham has been popping up every time Garrison Keillor mentions the "Republican" cult leader, hurling insults and demanding that nothing negative be said about Sunkist. But does Graham address any of our columnist's clear, true and verifiable assertions? Never. I still hope your pets are safe from Haitian barbecues, Graham.

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MacKenzie's avatar

I am so glad you are speaking out about the insanity that his enveloped us all.

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MacKenzie's avatar

Our Car-Salesman-in-Chief really raised the buffoonery bar today in front of the White House.

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gene tascott's avatar

Ain't dat da troof!!

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Becky Fragasse's avatar

The First Felon is a legend in his own mind! 🤪

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gene tascott's avatar

Ain't dat da troof!!

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Elaine Shute's avatar

Great column, Garrison. If Mark Twain was alive he'd have written the same thing. The man had zero tolerance for jackasses.

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Michele M Potter's avatar

Thank you. Exactly: Mark Twain is no longer with us, but thankfully, we got Keillor. We need a wit for these times.

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Ryan Collay's avatar

Do you think he’s thinking of becoming a King?...Charles could show him a few things. I think he’s shooting a bit higher, for more Roman Emperor! Or maybe even ‘DemiGod,’ at the very least! He’d be a good fallen angel too, and while that’s sort of been taken, his zeal and glee and love of Red, and rape and pillage of the ‘Merican landscapes, does remind us of this other powerful role, manipulating people with wealth and treasure, then damning them to be on your cabinet! for eternity! A fate much worse than hell…with ‘Little Marco’! To think he may be the best of the lot requires serious drinking!

He a fool but some love him, maybe a 1/3 of adults think he’s doing dogs work…that is where the Musky-Boy fits in, right?

Whose got a really big pooper-scooper?

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Dana's avatar

So true about Marco Rubio supposedly being the closest thing we have to an "adult in the room"--where's my tumbler?

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Jeannine A's avatar

Thank you, Garrison! Keep calling out the truth. (Truth as defined by documented, verifiable facts, not loony pronouncements that are patently false to real life.) My Dad taught me that repeating a lie again and again doesn't make it the truth. It's still a lie, no matter how many times it's repeated. He also said that staying silent in the face of lies is being complicit in the lying. So, I'm with you. Carry on!

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Robert Brown's avatar

Writing from another country, equally concerned by the developments in yours, as is most of the World, with obvious and notorious exceptions assessing on the basis of what's in it for me? I know you usually take an oblique line, but glad you have not on this occasion. When the people currently in power say the prpblem with people is their having empathy, that is the time when things must be directly said & colours have to be most definitely nailed to the mast. As one of my countrymen once said, to paraphrase, troubles only end by opposing them. Thank you for doing so.

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Dana's avatar

As an American I would like to thank you for your words. The current administration has destroyed the myth of American exceptionalism for once and for all. We need wise advice and harsh criticism from our friends now more than ever before (we've certainly never hesitated to advise or to criticize). I hope your leaders will increasingly speak out against what is happening here.

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linda hone's avatar

Hello Garrison, Please bring back Prarie Home Companion. politics is not your forte'. Don't loose your well deserved fame and audience. Linda

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

I'm 82, my dear. It's a great age. I've never enjoyed myself more. Hope you do as well when you get here.

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Sarah Whitman's avatar

Politics is very much his forte - the fact that you don’t agree with him is exactly the proof of that fact - his ability to deride the Current Occupant is balsam for the soul.

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Elaine Shute's avatar

I think spell check "corrected" You, Sarah. Still, being a Mainer, I love the expression "balsam" for the soul. It is, indeed, therapeutic to take a walk in the woods these days.

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Dana's avatar

Linda, please stop making political comments on these pages. They are not your forte.

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Jim Carmichael's avatar

I find your eloquent disgust very bracing, and humorous, too. I have no idea what “your humor” mentioned by a reader above is about. You direct your humor at whatever is in front of it. Guess I missed the memo outlining which subjects were permitted.

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Thomas Schnickel's avatar

Gosh dang ‘er, that’s a pretty good post ya got there donchya know. With that there Trumponohvitch in charge with those there lickspittle Republicans you can betchyer boots the USA is in for one heck of a fall, and I don’t mean autumn! Why gosh dang it with that there Donetski Trumponohvitch in charge of kissing Putin’s behind the Norskis and Ukrainians in North Dakota can just farm right over those missiles silos and those B52 bomber airports cause those there weapons of mass destruction make Putin upset donchya know.

Of course there won’t be no family farms left with the Trumponohvitch and those there FDR hatin’ Republicans just gonna kill those small farms and let corporations own the land.

Uffdah, I think those there Red states like North Dakota are gonna lose people specially old folks when that there Medicaid and Medicare goes kahblewee so there won’t be no protests against corporations taking over those there bankrupt farms. Course all that wheat and corn and soybeans market is gonna be controlled by Putin cause Vladimir is gonna own all of Ukraine’s farm land.

Those there Red State farming folks that don’t decide to end it all with shotguns or jumping off a bridge will be slapping their foreheads and saying, Uffdah donchya know that there Harris character mighta been a better choice, but at least the pickup has pretty good seats to sleep on.

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Michele M Potter's avatar

A lot of those folks from my home state of South Dakota might think about jumping off their silos. Uff da! I hope not--God love them, but really? Was this a case of open hearts and closed minds? I don't get it. But then I've left the state.

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Laurie Hilsgen's avatar

Garrison thank you for continuing to ruminate and comment on The Occupant. In my Minnesotan family he has many fans even among the young. This mystifies me but there is dank silence at the prospect of higher power prices, job losses, and increasing costs for consumer goods. Next The Occupant will receive the Nobel Peace Prize, for these are strange times. At one point you swore off commenting but please don't. Silence today is not golden.

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Kelly Eggers's avatar

Agreed♥️

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Dana's avatar

And may all of us work on helping the trumpers in our families and social circles to understand their cult leader's true motives and aims.

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Steve Brown's avatar

Before the usual magats get on here sniveling and whining about how terribly their Dear Leader is being treated, please let me assert that this column is an absolute gem. Only one (extremely tiny) point: I think the recent stupidity he visited on both houses of Congress was technically not a State of the Union address. My understanding -- and I certainly may be in error here-- is that the SOU address is not presented until after completion of the first year of the term. So I suppose this was just an 'informational (🤣) gathering'.

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Thanks for reading.

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Sandi McIntyre's avatar

Couldn't agree more, Garrison. Keep being a voice of reason.

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Richard Beck's avatar

I favor 'Baby Napoleon' over 'Current Occupant'

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Richard Beck's avatar

Put onea them hats on the diaper-clad inflatable

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Charles Barber's avatar

I recently came across an old Aesops Fable about some frogs who voted for a stork to be their king. The stork, not quite believing its luck, then gobbled up almost all the frogs. The advantage of democracies is that people aren't usually stupid enough to vote for a mad predator to be their leader. Sadly the American people have shown that even democracies can be fallible. Not, as a Brit, that I can gloat too much , for we as a people have also made some dumb-arse mistakes over the last few years. Hoping you manage to get rid of your alligator soon.

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Kelly Eggers's avatar

Oh we do too sir. We do too♥️

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Richard Beck's avatar

Nor am I so sanguine about Reagan, who was the first to long for the trappings of royalty to attach to the O.O., and allowed his likeness to be attached to a movement aimed at destroying the bureaucracy, which in truth has its value. I mean look at China. Thanks to theirs(bureaucracy) you can follow your family tree back to the time of Christ, or his Chinese counterpart. And it has other even more useful social-ordering benefits, I'm sure.

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