Great limericks. I’m partial to the one about Giuliani. I think your idea of setting up a stand and offering to write limericks like lemonade or Lucy selling free psychiatric advice is a good one. It’s like being a street artist who draws people with words. You ask them a little about themselves and then pen one on a piece of parchment paper. It’s good practice. I’d pay for one.
I can’t think about Israel and Palestine at the moment the same way I couldn’t watch “The Passion”. It’s too brutal. If it were happening in the Old Testament I have a feeling God wouldn’t be happy with the way His Chosen people were behaving. It might call for some drastic reminder that they were way out of line. (They tended to veer off track a lot. Poor Moses.) I know full well what’s going on, I just can’t wrap my head around it the same way I can’t wrap my head around any other atrocities human beings are capable of. I saw a reel on Instagram of a golden retriever gently picking up a lifeless stranded small fish and putting it back in the water. He kept nudging it and just when you think all is lost the fish wriggles back to life and swims away. Stuff like that dulls the ever present ache in my heart over what is going on in this fallen world. It’s all too much for one person to take. You just have to take a break from it sometimes to stay sane. Personally, I cheerfully say “Good morning” to everyone I pass when I’m walking my dog. Sullen faces seem to brighten when I do.
I saw a New Englander ranting about the ridiculously unpredictable weather while he was chipping ice off his windshield after a premature snowfall at the end of October. He was wearing flip flops because he still hadn’t gotten around to getting his winter clothes out his mother’s basement and he hadn’t had his Dunky yet so he was pretty disgusted and aggravated.
Wondering why gives me a migraine. Small things help and even make me laugh in the midst of the madness, but I just want it to stop. My PTSD locker is filled to capacity.
Netanyahu has always given me the rationale for God to choose new people. The talk of wanting peace and security seems to always be followed up by poking their "enemies" in the eye and then hiding behind the U.S. for protection.
I've been watching the show itinerary hoping against hope for something near Iowa. I noticed you posted one for Scranton, Ohio. I think you mean Scranton PA?
Reminds me of a piece in WRITING DOWN THE BONES, in which Natalie Goldberg recalls an early experience when she set up a table at a street festival to write poems on demand for 50 cents. Turned out to be unexpectedly POPULAR!
Don't know if you've seen the Danny Boyle film Yesterday, Mr Keillor? It came out in 2019 and based on an alternative reality where the Beatles never became famous. In that John Lennon is still alive in the 21st Century and happy and contented. It is a fictional conceit of course, but surprisingly very comforting. Lovely cameo by the brilliant Scottish actor Robert Carlyle.
I, too, loved the film “Yesterday.” Hamesh Patel was charming, as was Lily James. And Robert Carlyle brought “Old John Lennon” back to us for a few minutes. Everyone who loved the Beatles should watch it annually.
I can see it now: walkers requesting limericks for themselves, mates, enemies, and dogs, and being mighty pleased with your observations. Lucy sold lemonade for 5 cents, so with your reputation and talent, and inflation, you could easily get 5 dollars for yours. Where do we who don’t walk in the park sign up?
Garrison, I think you and those who follow you would find double dactyls more fun, interesting, and challenging than limericks. They are composed with two dactyls per line. The second line in the first stanza has to be someone's name, and the third line in the second stanza has to be one double-dactyl word. The last lines of each stanza are truncated and should rhyme. I compress the stanzas. Some say they all must begin with those nonsense phrases—"Higgledy Piggledy" or "Jiggery-Pokery", but I choose to ignore such unnecessary restrictions. Opportunities for humor with double dactyls abound. Here are four from my book Sew Me Wide-Eyed to the Fabric of Your Tongue.
Where can I find the winners of the September and October Limerick contests? Peter Davis.
September's winning limericks: https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/p/the-back-rooms-september-limerick
And October's winning limericks: https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/p/the-back-rooms-october-limerick-winners
Mr. Keillor also posts them on his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/PrairieHomeCompanion
Instead of only moaning about John, as many do, you Did something and wrote him a present.
Maybe now he knows how we feel about you.
A discount for the discouraged
On rhymes short but humoraged
The line would be long
For five dollars a song
The price is midwestern vintage
Great limericks. I’m partial to the one about Giuliani. I think your idea of setting up a stand and offering to write limericks like lemonade or Lucy selling free psychiatric advice is a good one. It’s like being a street artist who draws people with words. You ask them a little about themselves and then pen one on a piece of parchment paper. It’s good practice. I’d pay for one.
I can’t think about Israel and Palestine at the moment the same way I couldn’t watch “The Passion”. It’s too brutal. If it were happening in the Old Testament I have a feeling God wouldn’t be happy with the way His Chosen people were behaving. It might call for some drastic reminder that they were way out of line. (They tended to veer off track a lot. Poor Moses.) I know full well what’s going on, I just can’t wrap my head around it the same way I can’t wrap my head around any other atrocities human beings are capable of. I saw a reel on Instagram of a golden retriever gently picking up a lifeless stranded small fish and putting it back in the water. He kept nudging it and just when you think all is lost the fish wriggles back to life and swims away. Stuff like that dulls the ever present ache in my heart over what is going on in this fallen world. It’s all too much for one person to take. You just have to take a break from it sometimes to stay sane. Personally, I cheerfully say “Good morning” to everyone I pass when I’m walking my dog. Sullen faces seem to brighten when I do.
I saw a New Englander ranting about the ridiculously unpredictable weather while he was chipping ice off his windshield after a premature snowfall at the end of October. He was wearing flip flops because he still hadn’t gotten around to getting his winter clothes out his mother’s basement and he hadn’t had his Dunky yet so he was pretty disgusted and aggravated.
Wondering why gives me a migraine. Small things help and even make me laugh in the midst of the madness, but I just want it to stop. My PTSD locker is filled to capacity.
Netanyahu has always given me the rationale for God to choose new people. The talk of wanting peace and security seems to always be followed up by poking their "enemies" in the eye and then hiding behind the U.S. for protection.
Very good point. Thank you.
I've been watching the show itinerary hoping against hope for something near Iowa. I noticed you posted one for Scranton, Ohio. I think you mean Scranton PA?
You are quite right.
I can think of many people who I wish were still with us and John Lennon is definitely one of them.
Love, love, love...
Reminds me of a piece in WRITING DOWN THE BONES, in which Natalie Goldberg recalls an early experience when she set up a table at a street festival to write poems on demand for 50 cents. Turned out to be unexpectedly POPULAR!
When do we get a haiku?
I'm not going to write you a haiku
Because the fact is I like you.
I write limericks instead
Because they are read
Whereas a haiku tries to strike you.
To much counting in haiku!!
Don't know if you've seen the Danny Boyle film Yesterday, Mr Keillor? It came out in 2019 and based on an alternative reality where the Beatles never became famous. In that John Lennon is still alive in the 21st Century and happy and contented. It is a fictional conceit of course, but surprisingly very comforting. Lovely cameo by the brilliant Scottish actor Robert Carlyle.
I, too, loved the film “Yesterday.” Hamesh Patel was charming, as was Lily James. And Robert Carlyle brought “Old John Lennon” back to us for a few minutes. Everyone who loved the Beatles should watch it annually.
Another fun read today, Garrison, now take the rest of the day off.
Another lovely, giving column with great limericks. Thanks GK
Where can we read the winning limericks?
Best always!
You inspired me today:
A tall and displaced Minnesotan
Finds Manhattan a place he can float in.
Where the quirks of the masses
Seen through midwestern glasses
Are just “different,” not strictly verbotten.
Live it!!
I can see it now: walkers requesting limericks for themselves, mates, enemies, and dogs, and being mighty pleased with your observations. Lucy sold lemonade for 5 cents, so with your reputation and talent, and inflation, you could easily get 5 dollars for yours. Where do we who don’t walk in the park sign up?
Garrison, I think you and those who follow you would find double dactyls more fun, interesting, and challenging than limericks. They are composed with two dactyls per line. The second line in the first stanza has to be someone's name, and the third line in the second stanza has to be one double-dactyl word. The last lines of each stanza are truncated and should rhyme. I compress the stanzas. Some say they all must begin with those nonsense phrases—"Higgledy Piggledy" or "Jiggery-Pokery", but I choose to ignore such unnecessary restrictions. Opportunities for humor with double dactyls abound. Here are four from my book Sew Me Wide-Eyed to the Fabric of Your Tongue.
Dippledy doodledy
Apple Figstrudley
Ate while he rode on a
Dappled young mare.
Somehow he overlooked
Branch-hanging-lowly-down,
Now he’ll take lunch on a
Bruised derriere.
Hocuso pocuso
Hilda Katrinideau
Cast forty spells in a
Pique of blind rage.
Slaking her thirst for the
Unquenchifiable,
Chomped she the heads off of
Bats in a cage.
Hoggletug poggletug
Magnified Woggle Bug
Thoroughly educates
People of Oz.
Once you have met him you’re
Incontrovertibly
Stunned by the size of his
Brain and his schnoz.
Pepper hot piper snot
Peterkin Paperbot
Laughed when he saw an old
Lady fall through.
He didn’t know she was
Extraterrestrial,
Now he plays pipe in a
Cold Martian zoo.
It's all very clever but it's too much work for too little reward. Not for me, sorry.
Thanks for checking it out!
Sorry, the four double dactyls got smooshed together.
Well, they would, wouldn't they? Is it literature, or computation?
Really, really glad to find you on Substack!! Will meet you same place tomorrow!