We call the Dashboard Lady in our Volkswagen Frau Blucher. We are always amused and amazed at her patience as I (sometimes intentionally), follow a different route than she advises. There is a minor kerfuffle as she advises the next good spot for a u-turn, but she always concedes gracefully and accepts my judgement with equanimity, grace and further instructions in a few hundred feet.
'Frau Blucher' - perfect! We may have to steal that! Our Frau Blucher is very somber, and ends many commands in a slightly ominous tone, with the phrase: "at the end of the road." - Nancy and Mike
I still have my original dashboard lady from 15 or so years ago. I know maps and technology change, but the road layout is pretty stable here in rural New Hampshire, except for the potholes that keep returning, so she still does a good job of getting me unlost. My mother christened my DL as "Bossy Lady," as she has a somewhat imperious way of demanding that I "turn left at the next round-a-bout," or whatever other command she happens to be issuing. Whenever I decide to go my own way, Bossy Lady says, "Recalculating," in the most exasperated tone of voice I'd ever heard.
Here's to many more wowful days and weeks and years for you and Mrs. Keillor. I hope Mrs. Dashboard will guide you both on many more simple and pleasant adventures!
I'm all for not replacing what ain't broke, but I must say that the newer versions have one very important improvement over the version you still enjoy. I always felt that the older models had a very sanctimonious attitude. I insisted that the "recalculating" was done with a heavy, frustrated sigh and contained a fair amount of judgment. As a person with a poor sense of direction, I'm a little sensitive about such things. As Oldhaven mentions, above, the newer improved version of DL "concedes gracefully and accepts [my] judgment with equanimity." In my humble opinion, it's worth the cost of the upgrade.
I take it that you're using the word "enjoy" with a wee bit of sarcasm. :) Bossy Lady actually spends most of her time tucked into the armrest cubbyhole. I only pull her out once in a blue moon, when I need to drive to an unfamiliar location - and I don't travel much! Besides, I'm too frugal (CHEAP!) to spend good money on a more polite Dashboard Lady.
I'm frugal as well, but if you have a smart phone, most apps such as Google Maps are free and much most understanding than that old judgmental broad. However, if your frugality is such that you have yet to cross over into smart phone technology, you may actually be too far into cheap territory for the luxury of the kinder DL. And as much as I truly enjoy my sympathetic version of DL, it certainly would not justify the cost of a smartphone if that was all I got out of the deal!
My cellphone is a cute, tiny, obsolete Tracfone - It works as a phone, can be used to send text messages (as long as the messages are less than 160 characters), and has a useless camera feature. I guess it must be a dumb phone, because my kids always laugh at it. This is another modern invention that spends most of its time hiding (in the bottom of my purse, in this case), only to be used in emergencies. :)
I have my dashboard lady speaking Chinese so I have no way to understand her, but, it's hilarious when there are other people in the car. I act like I understand everything and passengers believe I am genius until we get lost and I have to explain it's all a facade and I'm a double agent for the secretive branch of the CIA no one knows about and since now the passengers know, I have to drive off a cliff.
I am ambivalent about Mrs Dashboard. While she can be immensely helpful she does take away the challenge of reckoning your way to the destination, which lessens the joy of the trip. I relish the memories of collecting maps from every gas station Dad stopped in and spent many backseat hours studying them as the small towns flashed by. Progress always comes at a cost.
An ancestor of mine, Tom Rogers came over on the Mayflower. He traveled the Newport area as an adult. I am sure he did not have a map to guide him. My daily automobile does not have a dashboard lady. I use a map if necessary. I do not get lost, I am just exploring new territories.
Newport always brings to mind Thornton Wilder's last novel, Theophilus North. An enjoyable read about a young teacher who finds himself in Newport without any real plans or obligations, decides to stay, and encounters many adventures among both the rich and poor of Newport.
I also enjoyed the DL Recounts (nearly as much as the essay), but not as much as “Brownie and Pete” which I listened to twice and tapped my feet.
My first GPS Lady exposure was in a friend’s BMW some 15+ years ago, she was a strict taskmaster and they resisted at great lengths employing her help unless desperately lost or late. A few years later a mellower DL inspired my then three year old nephew to declare, “That’s OK, Mama, the Map Lady will help us.” The map lady on my Siri is currently Australian and has a hard time with the many Spanish place names in California.
Years ago we had our 6 year old granddaughter record the directions in our Garmin. To this day, her dad uses it so he can hear her say "Papa, you missed your turn again". Isn't tech wonderful?
Thank you for reviving Brownie and Pete for us - an all-time favorite of mine, from my father's bedtime stories of life on the farm. Soon after you first sang it I glanced out my kitchen window and there in the churchyard next door were neighbors Brownie and Pete, their true names, I swear. I couldn't hear them but by their garb and posture I could tell they were discussing planned improvements. The vignette and soundtrack were set for life in that moment.
We call the Dashboard Lady in our Volkswagen Frau Blucher. We are always amused and amazed at her patience as I (sometimes intentionally), follow a different route than she advises. There is a minor kerfuffle as she advises the next good spot for a u-turn, but she always concedes gracefully and accepts my judgement with equanimity, grace and further instructions in a few hundred feet.
Ron
Maine
'Frau Blucher' - perfect! We may have to steal that! Our Frau Blucher is very somber, and ends many commands in a slightly ominous tone, with the phrase: "at the end of the road." - Nancy and Mike
I still have my original dashboard lady from 15 or so years ago. I know maps and technology change, but the road layout is pretty stable here in rural New Hampshire, except for the potholes that keep returning, so she still does a good job of getting me unlost. My mother christened my DL as "Bossy Lady," as she has a somewhat imperious way of demanding that I "turn left at the next round-a-bout," or whatever other command she happens to be issuing. Whenever I decide to go my own way, Bossy Lady says, "Recalculating," in the most exasperated tone of voice I'd ever heard.
Here's to many more wowful days and weeks and years for you and Mrs. Keillor. I hope Mrs. Dashboard will guide you both on many more simple and pleasant adventures!
I'm all for not replacing what ain't broke, but I must say that the newer versions have one very important improvement over the version you still enjoy. I always felt that the older models had a very sanctimonious attitude. I insisted that the "recalculating" was done with a heavy, frustrated sigh and contained a fair amount of judgment. As a person with a poor sense of direction, I'm a little sensitive about such things. As Oldhaven mentions, above, the newer improved version of DL "concedes gracefully and accepts [my] judgment with equanimity." In my humble opinion, it's worth the cost of the upgrade.
I take it that you're using the word "enjoy" with a wee bit of sarcasm. :) Bossy Lady actually spends most of her time tucked into the armrest cubbyhole. I only pull her out once in a blue moon, when I need to drive to an unfamiliar location - and I don't travel much! Besides, I'm too frugal (CHEAP!) to spend good money on a more polite Dashboard Lady.
Definitely using "enjoy" quite broadly. ; )
I'm frugal as well, but if you have a smart phone, most apps such as Google Maps are free and much most understanding than that old judgmental broad. However, if your frugality is such that you have yet to cross over into smart phone technology, you may actually be too far into cheap territory for the luxury of the kinder DL. And as much as I truly enjoy my sympathetic version of DL, it certainly would not justify the cost of a smartphone if that was all I got out of the deal!
My cellphone is a cute, tiny, obsolete Tracfone - It works as a phone, can be used to send text messages (as long as the messages are less than 160 characters), and has a useless camera feature. I guess it must be a dumb phone, because my kids always laugh at it. This is another modern invention that spends most of its time hiding (in the bottom of my purse, in this case), only to be used in emergencies. :)
I have my dashboard lady speaking Chinese so I have no way to understand her, but, it's hilarious when there are other people in the car. I act like I understand everything and passengers believe I am genius until we get lost and I have to explain it's all a facade and I'm a double agent for the secretive branch of the CIA no one knows about and since now the passengers know, I have to drive off a cliff.
My ancestor, Thomas Harris, came on the ship with Roger Williams (and John Crandall?) in 1631. Small world!
My ancestor, Thomas Harris came on the same ship with Roger Williams (and John Crandall?) in 1631...small world!
I am ambivalent about Mrs Dashboard. While she can be immensely helpful she does take away the challenge of reckoning your way to the destination, which lessens the joy of the trip. I relish the memories of collecting maps from every gas station Dad stopped in and spent many backseat hours studying them as the small towns flashed by. Progress always comes at a cost.
Yeah. The roadmap collection at every gas stop. My favorite book was the Rand McNally Road Atlas which I would "read" for hours.
Thanks. That was a nice way to finish breakfast after reading Hubble & H.V. Richardson.
An ancestor of mine, Tom Rogers came over on the Mayflower. He traveled the Newport area as an adult. I am sure he did not have a map to guide him. My daily automobile does not have a dashboard lady. I use a map if necessary. I do not get lost, I am just exploring new territories.
Darel
If you can't tap a toe at this CW music, you're dead. If you aren't smiling, you're brain dead.
Newport always brings to mind Thornton Wilder's last novel, Theophilus North. An enjoyable read about a young teacher who finds himself in Newport without any real plans or obligations, decides to stay, and encounters many adventures among both the rich and poor of Newport.
Sounds like a lot of the teachers in Newport.
I listened to Sweet Corn and enjoyed it very much. You sounded wonderful. Very lovely voice.
I love it when readers carry on a long chat between themselves and I sit and listen. Wonderful writers. Honored to know you.
I love that you listen to us. Hopefully you're mostly amused!
I also enjoyed the DL Recounts (nearly as much as the essay), but not as much as “Brownie and Pete” which I listened to twice and tapped my feet.
My first GPS Lady exposure was in a friend’s BMW some 15+ years ago, she was a strict taskmaster and they resisted at great lengths employing her help unless desperately lost or late. A few years later a mellower DL inspired my then three year old nephew to declare, “That’s OK, Mama, the Map Lady will help us.” The map lady on my Siri is currently Australian and has a hard time with the many Spanish place names in California.
Years ago we had our 6 year old granddaughter record the directions in our Garmin. To this day, her dad uses it so he can hear her say "Papa, you missed your turn again". Isn't tech wonderful?
That sounds like the cutest Dashboard Lady ever!
Thank you for reviving Brownie and Pete for us - an all-time favorite of mine, from my father's bedtime stories of life on the farm. Soon after you first sang it I glanced out my kitchen window and there in the churchyard next door were neighbors Brownie and Pete, their true names, I swear. I couldn't hear them but by their garb and posture I could tell they were discussing planned improvements. The vignette and soundtrack were set for life in that moment.