Trying to catch up on a backlog of reading, today I just read a lovely piece from the October 2024 Atlantic magazine by Wright Thompson about some Mississippi history. In it he quotes Malcolm X saying that everything south of Canada is Mississippi. Thump and his vile mob are proving that to be a truism in brazen, unashamed ways, none more than today thump blaming that horrible crash on DEI, on Biden, on Obama.
Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, etc. have all given the country, all of us, wonderful things - writers, foods, music - but they have also inflicted on all the rest of us thump, cruz, wee puppet mike johnson, foghorn leghorn Louisiana Kennedy, and the whole long list of that ilk. It remains to be seen how history will show us which kind of impact will be most lasting, the former or the latter, but with each passing day, it's looking like the mobsters and gangsters have landed on the con-game that is more lucrative than their depraved minds could have imagined and they are looting and stealing and overthrowing as fast and thoroughly as they can. That will be tough for writers, foods and music to overcome, but maybe.....
I don't think the victory song will be "America" much longer, but I'm voting for the late, great and much missed national poet-troubadour John Prine's song, "Some People Ain't Human" as the national anti-anthem.
Your litany didn't include the second-worst one of all: Felon Muskrat. His $270M+ purchase is largely responsible for this s-ht show we're now calling our government. You're correct, some people ain't human.
Only because he isn't from any of the U.S. states mentioned or any U.S. state at all. He is from South Africa (during apartheid) and spent some time in Canada.
Of thump, who wants America to despise immigrants: mother was immigrant; 2 of his 3 wives were/are immigrants, making 3 of his 5 children the offspring of immigrants so are they "dreamers?"; has immigrants in his cult-congregation (musk, patel, miller -rumor is that musk imported miller from mars, marjorie taylor green and lauren boebert, both beamed in from hell).... et al.
Increasingly, musk seems to be not only the bank of thump (with branches zuckerberg, bezos, thiel, et al) but is the CEO of America.
I hope that all those who visit Texas and all those other central-cult affiliates, after the jokes and story-telling and exchanges of personal marital anecdotes subside, will take a moment to inquire:
you voted for thump, right?
are you happy now?
are you enjoying "making the libs cry?"
have YOU stopped crying yet?
Let's all join in on hymn #31, "Hello In There" and then #1, "Some People Ain't Human."
Right you are! Thank you for the "brain/math aid." I forgot the latest one being spawn of the latest immigrant wife-contractual spouse.
Introducing "Scion of the Gold Empire, Behold Baron/Barren/Barrone! Eighteen and already towering over everyone, friend of Musk, constant companion of mother Mel, CryptoCreep, and already declared Next "President" of the Erstwhile United States of America!"
Another nice piece of writing! Thanks for your work. As an American citizen who moved to Canada after the first Trump term, I enjoyed your take on Canada, which, believe me, is not interested in being part of the USA. The Canadians that I have met are concerned and bemused about the antics of Don Trump, but unlike much of the American electorate, able to see directly through his moronic rhetoric as the carnival grifter that he really is. What follows is my open letter to Don regarding his performance so far in office and a quick note to quite a few American voters:
Congratulations, Don, Ten days in office, 60 or so useless and moronic presidential edicts, the most recent of which only lasted 48 hours before dying of its own weight, but not before causing total chaos throughout all levels of government and if you think about it, probably contributed to the first deadly aircraft accident in the US in a decade. What a tragic but predictable outcome.
Nice work, right wing idiots! You got what you voted for. Tragically, the rest of us have to live through it.
You've hit the nail on the head. It's not racism that makes Americans hostile to foreigners, it's that they speak foreign languages that Americans do not understand and cannot learn. So just keep telling them that they speak French in Canada, Spanish in Panama and god-knows-what in Greenland and Americans will rapidly cool on the idea of colonizing these nations.
Mr. Keillor, it is the comedians who are helping me to survive this horror of "Thump" and crew. You and your ilk - Stephen Colbert, Seth Myers, The Daily Show folks, Jimmy Kimmel et al, bring the horrible truth and with that spoonful of sugar, help it to go down. Ever notice that there is no one funny on the right? You can't be funny punching down and that's all they know how to do.
On another topic, I too live on NYC's Upper West Side and I keep hoping I will run into you some time so I can tell you in person how much I appreciate you.
I agree with you Kate, but really, there is plenty of fodder for a talented comedian on the right if we’re to be truthful about it. The issue isn’t a lack of material, it’s a lack of fundamental knowledge collectively shared by the audience on the right. I’d like to be careful here because it isn’t my intention to be pretentious, but again, if we’re to be truthful, simple jokes apeal to simple minds. People on the right often have difficulties with discerning whether a satirical article in the Onion is true or not. There is a reason for this. For humor to work, it needs to contain an element of truth. If a person lacks a baseline understanding of our government, history, politics, science, and really just the basic ability to separate fact from opinion, we’re left with low-brow observational humor (based on talking points and misinformation). I witnessed this myself about three weeks ago on a trip to Vegas. I went to Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club and the two comedians, including the MC, had obviously come to the conclusion that they need only put forth a modicum of effort when writing new material for the majority low information voters in the audience. An example: “Any of you all have liberal friends who declared they’re gonna move out of the country if Trump is elected? I do! I ask, where you gonna go? One man said, I don’t know… maybe I’ll move to Alaska (the comedian’s face contorts into an expression that reflects he is talking to an idiot and the crowd erupts in laughter and applause). This is humor? Again, for comedy to work, there needs to be an element of truth. I don’t know any liberals who think that Alaska is a foreign country. The audience loved it, not because it was plausible and funny, but because it made them feel superior (they actually know that Alaska is a part of the United States unlike stupid libtards!). I was just all so stupid. Getting back to my original point, in my opinion, people on the left have offered enough material for a talented comedian to feast on… but without an audience to get the jokes, why bother?
Haha! See… that’s funny! On its own, it’s just kind of depressing. But… exposing the hypocrisy that’s rampant on the right and playing off my comments? Good stuff. I would have rather watched your stand up material any day.
Recently he publicly insisted that Spain was a BRICS nation, and he kept asking reporters if they knew what BRICS nations were. Nobody told him then and there that the BICS nations were Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. Definitely not Spain. Imagine if Biden had done this? Or insisted that Haitians were eating our dogs and cats?
I lost my father in a plane crash in 1969. I can testify that losing someone you love in that kind of tragedy leaves a special kind of heartache that lingers. The immediate raw aftermath of getting that news is overwhelming-body and soul.
I caught the clips of Trump’s commentaries, placing blame based on the nonsense that takes up his air space. But it was his flippant reply to a reporter when asked if he would visit the crash site-…”you want me to go swimming?”-that revealed and confirmed the callous and hollow heart that beats in this man. He is a despicable excuse for a human being.
My first career was in the airline industry. I lost a few friends to accidents. I know how painful it is when it happens to someone you know, never mind family. Trump makes me Ill.
Thank you so much for your continuing insight and humor, Mr. Keillor. This one was so good. I can't imagine what growing up in America would have been like without you.
Regarding Canada, I bet he got the idea of making it a state when so many people said they’d move to Canada if he won.
Which makes me think that the answer to the immigration problem is to annex all the places the immigrants come from so they won’t be immigrants. Also, seriously, why do the migrants stop here instead of going to Canada?
I know your gig is making light of everything, but seems that you are very flippant about the lives of all these people that are being terrorized, in fear of being arrested or detained just for being brown. Plus what do you mean about this line "I like the idea of knocking down windmills and drilling for oil in Yellowstone".
It's satire, just like "and Kash Patel will be the Greatest FBI Director in American History (move over, J. Edgar Hoover)", or suggesting that DEI stands for "Diversity-Elitist-Iniquity." In the same vein he might write that he's grateful to Trump for making America great again. Or he might say "I don't really mind if Haitians barbecue all the dogs and cats in my neighborhood, as long as our northern border is adequately defended against marauding Mounties." Far be it from me to put words in Garrison Keillor's mouth, however.
I get that he's satirical and the things you listed arent talking about people's lives. He's saying that after all the undocumented immigrants are deported, we will have to get used to sleeping in beds at hotels where the sheets aren't changed and eat chicken with bones ... The inconvenience. Missing the fact that these are real people with families who have suffered at this government's hands and will probably be imprisoned or killed when returned to Venezuela. They are undocumented, not criminals. Maybe he can find something satirical to say about how these people are treated like less that human. I don't know how you make that into something funny, though. Because it sure as hell isn't.
I certainly agree with you. The way I see it, he's talking about inconveniences that Republicans will (eventually) notice, because they obviously don't care about the migrants and their families who are bearing the brunt of these policies. Just as it didn't bother them that Trump endangered Haitian migrants by insisting that they were eating our pets. The cruelty is the point. It's all sickening and unacceptable, and I can't understand why so many people are okay with it.
You are absolutely correct that nothing about anything right now is funny. America is at a crossroads, full stop. Satire helps us to process the reality we are living, giving us time to exhale the existential crisis, get our heads around this new reality and allow some perspective. Then we must decide where and how we take a stand. None of us asked for this-I dare say I would make the trek from Venezuela if I wanted to save my family. In order to recognize their reality we must now grapple with ours. Satire helps show the absurdity of the powers in charge, while grappling with how to remain sane in all the insanity. And take a stand.
Oh boy! You certainly know and understand us Canucks. What a hoot...Canadian mounties on snowmobiles invading the U.S. What a great laugh in the morning. I love your writing.
This alone makes Substack worthwhile. A voice of sanity in the US reporting from deep in Trump territory and showing that there is still humanity and humour when (in Australia at least) the media continues to publicise the moronic outpourings of the occupant of the Whitehouse. Thank you Mr Keillor!
Exactly what I needed to start my day. Smiles instead of the typical rage. Thank you.🩵
Trying to catch up on a backlog of reading, today I just read a lovely piece from the October 2024 Atlantic magazine by Wright Thompson about some Mississippi history. In it he quotes Malcolm X saying that everything south of Canada is Mississippi. Thump and his vile mob are proving that to be a truism in brazen, unashamed ways, none more than today thump blaming that horrible crash on DEI, on Biden, on Obama.
Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, etc. have all given the country, all of us, wonderful things - writers, foods, music - but they have also inflicted on all the rest of us thump, cruz, wee puppet mike johnson, foghorn leghorn Louisiana Kennedy, and the whole long list of that ilk. It remains to be seen how history will show us which kind of impact will be most lasting, the former or the latter, but with each passing day, it's looking like the mobsters and gangsters have landed on the con-game that is more lucrative than their depraved minds could have imagined and they are looting and stealing and overthrowing as fast and thoroughly as they can. That will be tough for writers, foods and music to overcome, but maybe.....
I don't think the victory song will be "America" much longer, but I'm voting for the late, great and much missed national poet-troubadour John Prine's song, "Some People Ain't Human" as the national anti-anthem.
🩵John Prine🩵
you look inside their hearts here's what you'll find...a few frozen pizzas.....a broken Popsicle u don't wanna go there
A bag of frozen peas. No, make that, one frozen pea.
Your litany didn't include the second-worst one of all: Felon Muskrat. His $270M+ purchase is largely responsible for this s-ht show we're now calling our government. You're correct, some people ain't human.
Only because he isn't from any of the U.S. states mentioned or any U.S. state at all. He is from South Africa (during apartheid) and spent some time in Canada.
Of thump, who wants America to despise immigrants: mother was immigrant; 2 of his 3 wives were/are immigrants, making 3 of his 5 children the offspring of immigrants so are they "dreamers?"; has immigrants in his cult-congregation (musk, patel, miller -rumor is that musk imported miller from mars, marjorie taylor green and lauren boebert, both beamed in from hell).... et al.
Increasingly, musk seems to be not only the bank of thump (with branches zuckerberg, bezos, thiel, et al) but is the CEO of America.
I hope that all those who visit Texas and all those other central-cult affiliates, after the jokes and story-telling and exchanges of personal marital anecdotes subside, will take a moment to inquire:
you voted for thump, right?
are you happy now?
are you enjoying "making the libs cry?"
have YOU stopped crying yet?
Let's all join in on hymn #31, "Hello In There" and then #1, "Some People Ain't Human."
Perfect post. Only, he has four children from immigrant mothers. Peace my friend.
Right you are! Thank you for the "brain/math aid." I forgot the latest one being spawn of the latest immigrant wife-contractual spouse.
Introducing "Scion of the Gold Empire, Behold Baron/Barren/Barrone! Eighteen and already towering over everyone, friend of Musk, constant companion of mother Mel, CryptoCreep, and already declared Next "President" of the Erstwhile United States of America!"
Peace to you, too, and thanks again.
Muskrat Tesla now a protected specie, world wide...
Trump-pal executive order
Wow Annie! “Some Humans Ain’t Human” has been my earworm all week!
It would not be surprising if he 're-visited' the old birther issue,
since his perception is one of being infallible, not deflatable.
Good morning and thank you! You made this Made in Texas by Texans gal smile while waiting on the first cup of coffee.
Another nice piece of writing! Thanks for your work. As an American citizen who moved to Canada after the first Trump term, I enjoyed your take on Canada, which, believe me, is not interested in being part of the USA. The Canadians that I have met are concerned and bemused about the antics of Don Trump, but unlike much of the American electorate, able to see directly through his moronic rhetoric as the carnival grifter that he really is. What follows is my open letter to Don regarding his performance so far in office and a quick note to quite a few American voters:
Congratulations, Don, Ten days in office, 60 or so useless and moronic presidential edicts, the most recent of which only lasted 48 hours before dying of its own weight, but not before causing total chaos throughout all levels of government and if you think about it, probably contributed to the first deadly aircraft accident in the US in a decade. What a tragic but predictable outcome.
Nice work, right wing idiots! You got what you voted for. Tragically, the rest of us have to live through it.
My advise to Canada is not to be amused, but alarmed.
Trust me nobody is amused and many are alarmed.
You've hit the nail on the head. It's not racism that makes Americans hostile to foreigners, it's that they speak foreign languages that Americans do not understand and cannot learn. So just keep telling them that they speak French in Canada, Spanish in Panama and god-knows-what in Greenland and Americans will rapidly cool on the idea of colonizing these nations.
We can learn. (I'm fluent in Spanish, for one example). Most don't want the bother.
I worked outside in Wisconsin winters for over a decade. They can be brutal, as can all the winters in the northern tier.
Re capital letters: the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse…
Oh my….😊
😂
Mr. Keillor, it is the comedians who are helping me to survive this horror of "Thump" and crew. You and your ilk - Stephen Colbert, Seth Myers, The Daily Show folks, Jimmy Kimmel et al, bring the horrible truth and with that spoonful of sugar, help it to go down. Ever notice that there is no one funny on the right? You can't be funny punching down and that's all they know how to do.
On another topic, I too live on NYC's Upper West Side and I keep hoping I will run into you some time so I can tell you in person how much I appreciate you.
I agree with you Kate, but really, there is plenty of fodder for a talented comedian on the right if we’re to be truthful about it. The issue isn’t a lack of material, it’s a lack of fundamental knowledge collectively shared by the audience on the right. I’d like to be careful here because it isn’t my intention to be pretentious, but again, if we’re to be truthful, simple jokes apeal to simple minds. People on the right often have difficulties with discerning whether a satirical article in the Onion is true or not. There is a reason for this. For humor to work, it needs to contain an element of truth. If a person lacks a baseline understanding of our government, history, politics, science, and really just the basic ability to separate fact from opinion, we’re left with low-brow observational humor (based on talking points and misinformation). I witnessed this myself about three weeks ago on a trip to Vegas. I went to Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club and the two comedians, including the MC, had obviously come to the conclusion that they need only put forth a modicum of effort when writing new material for the majority low information voters in the audience. An example: “Any of you all have liberal friends who declared they’re gonna move out of the country if Trump is elected? I do! I ask, where you gonna go? One man said, I don’t know… maybe I’ll move to Alaska (the comedian’s face contorts into an expression that reflects he is talking to an idiot and the crowd erupts in laughter and applause). This is humor? Again, for comedy to work, there needs to be an element of truth. I don’t know any liberals who think that Alaska is a foreign country. The audience loved it, not because it was plausible and funny, but because it made them feel superior (they actually know that Alaska is a part of the United States unlike stupid libtards!). I was just all so stupid. Getting back to my original point, in my opinion, people on the left have offered enough material for a talented comedian to feast on… but without an audience to get the jokes, why bother?
Someone should tell that "comedian" that tRump once asked his Chief of Staff if Finland is part of Russia.
Haha! See… that’s funny! On its own, it’s just kind of depressing. But… exposing the hypocrisy that’s rampant on the right and playing off my comments? Good stuff. I would have rather watched your stand up material any day.
Recently he publicly insisted that Spain was a BRICS nation, and he kept asking reporters if they knew what BRICS nations were. Nobody told him then and there that the BICS nations were Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. Definitely not Spain. Imagine if Biden had done this? Or insisted that Haitians were eating our dogs and cats?
I lost my father in a plane crash in 1969. I can testify that losing someone you love in that kind of tragedy leaves a special kind of heartache that lingers. The immediate raw aftermath of getting that news is overwhelming-body and soul.
I caught the clips of Trump’s commentaries, placing blame based on the nonsense that takes up his air space. But it was his flippant reply to a reporter when asked if he would visit the crash site-…”you want me to go swimming?”-that revealed and confirmed the callous and hollow heart that beats in this man. He is a despicable excuse for a human being.
My first career was in the airline industry. I lost a few friends to accidents. I know how painful it is when it happens to someone you know, never mind family. Trump makes me Ill.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfsTk5i7mPw
Yes, Trump is a psychopath. I don’t think that’s new Assessment
Well said! You were being far too kind to refer to him as despicable.
Best line ever: “A war in Wisconsin in February…”
Against a lot of Finns! SISU STRONG.
Thank you so much for your continuing insight and humor, Mr. Keillor. This one was so good. I can't imagine what growing up in America would have been like without you.
Thank you
Regarding Canada, I bet he got the idea of making it a state when so many people said they’d move to Canada if he won.
Which makes me think that the answer to the immigration problem is to annex all the places the immigrants come from so they won’t be immigrants. Also, seriously, why do the migrants stop here instead of going to Canada?
I know your gig is making light of everything, but seems that you are very flippant about the lives of all these people that are being terrorized, in fear of being arrested or detained just for being brown. Plus what do you mean about this line "I like the idea of knocking down windmills and drilling for oil in Yellowstone".
It's satire, just like "and Kash Patel will be the Greatest FBI Director in American History (move over, J. Edgar Hoover)", or suggesting that DEI stands for "Diversity-Elitist-Iniquity." In the same vein he might write that he's grateful to Trump for making America great again. Or he might say "I don't really mind if Haitians barbecue all the dogs and cats in my neighborhood, as long as our northern border is adequately defended against marauding Mounties." Far be it from me to put words in Garrison Keillor's mouth, however.
I get that he's satirical and the things you listed arent talking about people's lives. He's saying that after all the undocumented immigrants are deported, we will have to get used to sleeping in beds at hotels where the sheets aren't changed and eat chicken with bones ... The inconvenience. Missing the fact that these are real people with families who have suffered at this government's hands and will probably be imprisoned or killed when returned to Venezuela. They are undocumented, not criminals. Maybe he can find something satirical to say about how these people are treated like less that human. I don't know how you make that into something funny, though. Because it sure as hell isn't.
I certainly agree with you. The way I see it, he's talking about inconveniences that Republicans will (eventually) notice, because they obviously don't care about the migrants and their families who are bearing the brunt of these policies. Just as it didn't bother them that Trump endangered Haitian migrants by insisting that they were eating our pets. The cruelty is the point. It's all sickening and unacceptable, and I can't understand why so many people are okay with it.
You are absolutely correct that nothing about anything right now is funny. America is at a crossroads, full stop. Satire helps us to process the reality we are living, giving us time to exhale the existential crisis, get our heads around this new reality and allow some perspective. Then we must decide where and how we take a stand. None of us asked for this-I dare say I would make the trek from Venezuela if I wanted to save my family. In order to recognize their reality we must now grapple with ours. Satire helps show the absurdity of the powers in charge, while grappling with how to remain sane in all the insanity. And take a stand.
Oh boy! You certainly know and understand us Canucks. What a hoot...Canadian mounties on snowmobiles invading the U.S. What a great laugh in the morning. I love your writing.
Hilarious.
This alone makes Substack worthwhile. A voice of sanity in the US reporting from deep in Trump territory and showing that there is still humanity and humour when (in Australia at least) the media continues to publicise the moronic outpourings of the occupant of the Whitehouse. Thank you Mr Keillor!