97 Comments

Thank you for sharing your gift of words, words that carry memories with grace and make gentle contact with the present. I do wonder, when together with our children, we both talk about the good old days -- decades apart -- won’t we both be right? I do hope, for their sake, if not so much for my own.

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I was born in Central Florida, a land of long, hot, muggy summers. In the 1960s our home had no air conditioning, only jalousie windows. For relief from the heat we took the Ford for a drive and enjoyed the 460 air conditioning. Four windows down at sixty miles per hour. Daddy was a wag.

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Natter on!

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One of my favorite stories is about the man who picked up a hitchhiker, and after a few minutes of small talk, the hitchhiker asked, “Did you ever think I could be an insane serial killer?”.

“No.” The driver replied. “What are the odds if there being two in the same car.”

I turn 75 in a few months and have never hitched a ride. I was always afraid of who might stop and give me a rude.

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Psalm 90:10; go for it!

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A pox on you (but, not, of course of the monkey varietal) for stopping a little column that was on the verge of being existential. May the hairs on your palms grow at whim and may your woman forget you are in the room while she sings to herself of old loves.

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I just want to say “thank you”. Gratitude means more to me now. :)

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You are in fine form. Looking forward to reading the cleaned-up or at least tidier version of what you are thinking for many years to come. Dave Barry, the ink-stained wretch, had a heart valve replacement many years ago. Like a warm-blooded version of a 60,000 mile tune-up for a car. He still seems to run fine.

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Yes, thank you. Why DO those loathed words claw our skin? And who comes up with this stuff? I will spare you from my library in case your skin begins to crawl merely at hearing the contents But this happened to me last week when a pompous participant on a zoom call asked, “What’s the main purpose of this meeting? Are we ideating?” Yes, language evolves. Can’t it evolve gently, to enhance communication instead of hiding behind what people really want to say? I’m betting money that someone who’s hungry doesn’t refer to him or herself as food insecure.

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Had forgotten what a wonderful word "nattering" is. Did however send me to an ancient, much used version of Strunk and White. Is it a verb? Can it be an adjective? I find that taking a shower and not slipping gets applause from my folks here. Really enjoy the Column. Thank you for all the sharing over the years.

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Dear harmless old man,

I am concerned about your brother who was catholigized by that girl he embraced and eventually married. Now I know the Cat-o-lics are not much into Bible reading(they pretty much do what they're told) but I hope that embrace didn't include too much of that doubt that is creeping into the Catholic religion since they've begun reading the Good Book for themselves.

In any case, wish him well, keep your eyes down("honey"), and stay out of trouble.

Sincerely, an all-embracing Catholic who is always in trouble.

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I am almost 87 and I find myself quoting my father’s wisdom more and more each year. He lived into his early 90’s and would tell me “you know 85 really isn’t that old, once you’re already 80”.

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Aug 5, 2022·edited Aug 5, 2022

The good old days. I suspect for you it might have been the late 40's, the 50's and maybe even the early 60's. The world got stupid in the late 60's and 70's, though for me those were my "good old days". Though in 1964, at 6 years old. I can remember walking around the block unattended because I wanted to show off my new Beatle boots. No fear or fear needed. Even in the early 70's my brothers and I would walk the railroad tracks to a 7-11 to get frozen cokes and twinkies, then hang out at this old gas station listening to the proprietor tell us stories while he ate apple slices off the blade of his pocket knife. You listened to a guy like that. Life was simpler back then, no internet, only criminal gun violence and you could walk from one end of the airport to the other with no interruptions for security or x-ray machines.

I think you had the best of the good old days. I have a love for the 30's, 40's and maybe even the 50's, when men were men, women were women, kids were kids. Everything was new and newer things were coming, it must have been exciting. We had national pride and everyone loved America.

My mom turns 84 next month, so you're in good company and as a result you should have a lot of well deserved respect. What's cool about your age, like my mom, is that you can say anything you want and be a crotchety curmudgeon for fun at any time, and do so for no reason than to give yourself a laugh. I'm 20 years behind my mom and with years of practiced sarcasm I hope that by the time I reach her age, God willing, my crotchety curmudgeoness will be well developed and I'll entertain kids sitting around me while I eat apple slices off of my pocket knife blade.

You're 80, enjoy yourself. Chase those kids off your lawn and for the love of God, don't wear socks and sandals.

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I was struck by your wish that hitch hiking would return. The memories of standing on a street corner trying to get a ride from a complete stranger brought me back to the trusting days of my youth. Then it struck me that in a way, I did that very thing yesterday while visiting a different city without benefit of my car. I took an Uber to get to a restaurant for dinner. Uber is actually hitch hiking monetized!

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Good morning Garrison. I have a lot to do today so I was planning to not write anything when I started to read your column.

But you mentioned the use of words like "monetize," etc. and I could not help responding. People love to use funny words. They say that someone "gifted" something; what happened to "gave" or "give." I assume that gave and gifted mean the same thing. And what about all these people that sprinkle the word "like" all through a sentence. Every fourth or fifth word is "like."

I think that what all this indicates is that many people are not clear or logical thinkers. They don't know what they are talking about so they cover that up with lots of funny words or they throw in "like" a lots.

You go to the Episcopal church so you have people who read the scriptures during the service. Many of the readers that I hear in church don't know how to read and don't have a clue of what punctuation means. And they don't seem to ever read over the scripture before they stand up to read it. Punctuation is there for a purpose. More fuzzy thinking?

You mentioned "Bible believer." Do people still read the Bible? I know that there are people who say the Bible is inerrant (and one can debate what that means) and they pick out a passage here or there to support their argument about current topics but I can't say that I know many people who actually read the Bible.

Apparently the Supremes don't read it. In the Gospels Our Lord says that when we pray we should not be like the "hypocrites who make a big display of praying in public for a show." We should pray quietly and God will answer our prayers. Our Lord seems to say that if we pray in public to make a show then we have gotten what we wanted -- a show. Maybe I am wrong but I think that the football coach who prayed at the 50 yard line in front of a stadium of people was putting on a show. But the Supremes upheld him. But what do the Supremes know?

Best wishes and happy 80th birthday. May you have many, many more.

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Smiled through the whole post and then read it aloud to my 96 year old husband. He identified completely. Thank you Garrison, for keeping smiles on our faces!

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