I always wondered about those steaks. They haven’t shown up in Julian, NC, yet. Now I know, and will stick with NC barbecue ; that’s pork barbecue, thank you.
Even better, use "omnivore" since most of us meat eaters also eat non-meat. Of my three granddaughters (in two households), one is a pescatarian, one was a vegetarian and is drifting back to omnivore eating some chicken and seafood, while the third is an omnivore. Of my two grandsons, one is an omnivore and the younger went through vegetarianism and ended up strict vegan, won't even eat honey. He does his own cooking, but that limits the number of restaurants for eat-in and takeout but we all do quite well with the local Chinese restaurant.
As for McDonalds, two regular hamburgers and a small black coffee ordered in the drive thru lane. The burgers are always hot because nobody orders them and the coffee is always fresh. No need for napkins because nothing falls out of a regular burger while you drive and eat. All for about four
I only occasionally eat take out from McDs (furnish my own drink at home) but the prices are so high now I only eat lunch specials like "towfers", 2 sandwiches, no need for fries, but almost all specials are now only on their app which I refuse to get. Can't afford my favorite Big Mac.
Yes, we usually can find something good. I think Julie Andrews did in that wonderful movie. Almost always there's something good. Make the stake better by talking to the waiting. It won't get better most any other way.
Thank you for this column. Every paragraph forced one wry chuckle from me after another. Many of us can relate to the situations you describe (albeit at a lower economic scale). A great start to my day.
Even when you were at the height of your achieved success, Mr. Keillor, you were always welcome in our small home, coming in as you did every Saturday evening through radio waves. We liked you a lot, as well as the great friends who you always brought along with you. Maybe you were an asshole in real life, up close and personal, but I kind of doubt that, no more an asshole than the average person, at least. In your mellower dotage, you are still a very likeable guy. I'm happy for you, and your tale gives me hope that I too will mellow as I decline in life and that I will truly keep the faith and love like you seem to be doing.
Your mention of double QuarterPounders reminded me of a question I’ve always wanted to ask you:
Growing up, were you exposed to the blissful experience of White Castles?
(I’ve always thought of WCs as similar to your description of Lutefisk: Comfort food from your childhood, such that if you didn’t grow up with them, you can’t image eating them, but if you did, you can’t imagine life without them.)
My first experience with White Castle was in Minneapolis in the early '60s. One burger was twelve cents. Of course it took about five of them to make a meal, so that turned into real money.
I'm a Minnesotan - Iron Range to be precise - and, like you, am aghast at the price of food in most restaurants these days. My wife and I recently took our niece and her husband to a beach restaurant in Seattle where the bill was over twice what I paid for my first car. Granted, it wasn't a great car, but neither was the food, and it didn't last as long. Thankfully, however, the food didn't require pharmacy help to digest. So there is that.
I guess we are known for salmon. Strange, but I don't care for it; too "fishy." Cod is my fish of choice. At a much younger age, I worked in a salmon canary on Bristol Bay in Alaska. Maybe it was that job that put me off salmon. Who knows. The next time you come to Seattle, try Sunfish on Alki Beach in West Seattle. It's a self order, but great. Two brothers from Greece have operated it for about forty years. And they do serve salmon.
After your description, I googled Wagyu steak to see what you were talking about - I've been a vegetarian for almost half a century, so I had no idea. Apparently, it's supposed to be ultra tender. The cattle are bred and raised to end up with well marbled meat, and it's said that the fat has a lower melting point than butter - so it literally melts in the eater's mouth. Not my idea of good eating, either, even in my omnivorous days of the past. Then again, back then I didn't consider steak to be edible unless it was well-done almost to the point of becoming jerky, and of course it needed to be slathered in catsup. I guess I'm just a natural born vegetarian! 😎
I have also been disappointed at times with the highbrow stuff. You might want to stick to Outback or Ponderosa where they don't fool around. More plebeian, but much more satisfying!
I always wondered about those steaks. They haven’t shown up in Julian, NC, yet. Now I know, and will stick with NC barbecue ; that’s pork barbecue, thank you.
I think you might better have used the word "carnivore" rather than "cannibals" in your opening statement! LOL
Even better, use "omnivore" since most of us meat eaters also eat non-meat. Of my three granddaughters (in two households), one is a pescatarian, one was a vegetarian and is drifting back to omnivore eating some chicken and seafood, while the third is an omnivore. Of my two grandsons, one is an omnivore and the younger went through vegetarianism and ended up strict vegan, won't even eat honey. He does his own cooking, but that limits the number of restaurants for eat-in and takeout but we all do quite well with the local Chinese restaurant.
As for McDonalds, two regular hamburgers and a small black coffee ordered in the drive thru lane. The burgers are always hot because nobody orders them and the coffee is always fresh. No need for napkins because nothing falls out of a regular burger while you drive and eat. All for about four
bucks. God bless America.
I only occasionally eat take out from McDs (furnish my own drink at home) but the prices are so high now I only eat lunch specials like "towfers", 2 sandwiches, no need for fries, but almost all specials are now only on their app which I refuse to get. Can't afford my favorite Big Mac.
Yes, we usually can find something good. I think Julie Andrews did in that wonderful movie. Almost always there's something good. Make the stake better by talking to the waiting. It won't get better most any other way.
Thank you for this column. Every paragraph forced one wry chuckle from me after another. Many of us can relate to the situations you describe (albeit at a lower economic scale). A great start to my day.
Even when you were at the height of your achieved success, Mr. Keillor, you were always welcome in our small home, coming in as you did every Saturday evening through radio waves. We liked you a lot, as well as the great friends who you always brought along with you. Maybe you were an asshole in real life, up close and personal, but I kind of doubt that, no more an asshole than the average person, at least. In your mellower dotage, you are still a very likeable guy. I'm happy for you, and your tale gives me hope that I too will mellow as I decline in life and that I will truly keep the faith and love like you seem to be doing.
I am with you all the way on this one. Touched my soul a little today.
Good morning, Garrison. Haven't had a stake for years and for one simple reason. After two bites they are cold. RR
It’s the splinters that get me!
That's funny! Always enjoy a funny spellarian!
Good morning Garrison
Your mention of double QuarterPounders reminded me of a question I’ve always wanted to ask you:
Growing up, were you exposed to the blissful experience of White Castles?
(I’ve always thought of WCs as similar to your description of Lutefisk: Comfort food from your childhood, such that if you didn’t grow up with them, you can’t image eating them, but if you did, you can’t imagine life without them.)
My first experience with White Castle was in Minneapolis in the early '60s. One burger was twelve cents. Of course it took about five of them to make a meal, so that turned into real money.
I was not expecting an episode of Meat the Press.
LOL
I'm a Minnesotan - Iron Range to be precise - and, like you, am aghast at the price of food in most restaurants these days. My wife and I recently took our niece and her husband to a beach restaurant in Seattle where the bill was over twice what I paid for my first car. Granted, it wasn't a great car, but neither was the food, and it didn't last as long. Thankfully, however, the food didn't require pharmacy help to digest. So there is that.
The one time I was in Seattle, for a meeting, I looked for and ate a lot of salmon.
I guess we are known for salmon. Strange, but I don't care for it; too "fishy." Cod is my fish of choice. At a much younger age, I worked in a salmon canary on Bristol Bay in Alaska. Maybe it was that job that put me off salmon. Who knows. The next time you come to Seattle, try Sunfish on Alki Beach in West Seattle. It's a self order, but great. Two brothers from Greece have operated it for about forty years. And they do serve salmon.
After your description, I googled Wagyu steak to see what you were talking about - I've been a vegetarian for almost half a century, so I had no idea. Apparently, it's supposed to be ultra tender. The cattle are bred and raised to end up with well marbled meat, and it's said that the fat has a lower melting point than butter - so it literally melts in the eater's mouth. Not my idea of good eating, either, even in my omnivorous days of the past. Then again, back then I didn't consider steak to be edible unless it was well-done almost to the point of becoming jerky, and of course it needed to be slathered in catsup. I guess I'm just a natural born vegetarian! 😎
Sorry for your tummy troubles, Garrison. But I would have enjoyed the sidewalk sights. I miss the City!
I have also been disappointed at times with the highbrow stuff. You might want to stick to Outback or Ponderosa where they don't fool around. More plebeian, but much more satisfying!
"I... wanted to be a writer, a great writer like Liebling and Wodehouse and Perelman." They're all the same guy. There's only one GK : )
Us parking lot attendants and traffic controllers would love a turn at living in a lumber baron’s mansion, too.