Google says: In Clearwater, the summers are long, hot, oppressive, and mostly cloudy; the winters are short, cool, windy, and partly cloudy; and it is wet year round. Over the course of the year, the temperature typically varies from 55°F to 90°F and is rarely below 44°F or above 93°F.
Good. We are growing so fast that we are getting new area codes for the unbelievable growth of new arrivals. And you can add to your list that’s it’s expensive to live here. Your information is not correct though. We ARE the SUNSHINE STATE. The waiting room for senior citizens… next stop paradise. Movie stars live here. Scientology headquarters also. Come visit us. We have one of worlds first class beaches.
And you also have a Gov'r who is part of that Death Cult party. Not that Alaska is not much better, but at least the school boards have separate powers. At least we are more than 9 feet above the (rising) sea level.
Dear GK, I know you were not really fishing for a compliment. But I think that the 5 minutes I took to read your column did give me something: I learned that the vegi was drawer in the fridge is a perfect place to hide all the things, that at 79, I cannot find in their normal places. ;)
I start each morning reading the two emails I receive from you. It is wonderful to recall the Saturday evenings or Sunday morning replayed of PGC. I feel a great void that used to be fill with your wry humor and nostalgic ramblings. Recently I have discovered the Lake Wobegon segments on YouTube. They alone are worth the monthly fee I pay. I fondly remember attending several of your live shows around the state of Florida when I worked there for 35 years. It was great to see in person that you really ware, or did then, red socks. As we both reach a terminal part of life, my prayer is that you outlive me and continue to share your knowledge and thoughts with the rest of us born in a psychological place that time has forgotten.
You write: "And now irony strikes: you’ve wasted five or six minutes reading my complaints and what usefulness does this offer to you, dear reader? None."
That, sirrah, is not true. It gives comfort knowing we are coming down the mountain like our mother's did, leaving behind the non-essentials. It offers to those septa and octo-generarians among us the comfort of just letting go of what we don't need and worrying not. We're told that our Native American friends who live far enough north of the Mason-Dixon line would put their elderlies on an ice flow and off they went to what all hoped were Happy Grounds. If you read Jack London (and I know you have), there's a fine description of freezing to death by just letting go. There is the comfort of a having a loving dog or loving partner beside you. But you just fade away. Enough of this untimely worry. Your mother was right again. Eschew those wrinkles on our pillows and fit our own wrinkles betwixt. No, many of elders don't sleep like we used to. But one day we will. So it goes.
Oh, and as Ron Popeil would say in the midst of a sale, there's "one more thing."
I want to add to one more comment: There are fine places in Florida on the gulf side, just north of Naples, where the Vanderbilts came in the winter. The beach there is largely pristine, with walking miles of fine sand. Some folks on the beach smile as they walk by. But most don't. Best of all you can sit in a recliner chair on the sand with an umbrella to save your skin from squamous cell cancer, and read that book that needs reading....or the Wallbanger that needs sipping...or the nap that needs taking. Two weeks of that and you're as ready as you can be to step back into the ring. Once again a ready contender.
Brave thoughts, sir, and it may all work that way for you but I dread vacatons, dread inacton, feel it wwll lead to inertia, moodiness, loss of ambition, decay of writing skills, discouragement, depression, and death under the wheels of a bus. But thanks for the thought.
So it's a type! I do not like going on vacation, either, having an innate inability to relax. Vacations drive me batty. I guess some of us are just born that way. :)
That's one heckuva laundry list of disincentives, good sir. Frankly, those concerns you mention are like the chances of winning the lottery, a curse in itself. But it's equally unlikely whether you buy a ticket or not. My dear wife, years ago, twisted my wrist and off we went to the FL shores. She was happy so I was happy. I learned to love watching those beautiful winter sunsets. Do you know some folks claim to see a green flash at the end of sunset. More likely it's the creme de menthe.
And to counteract inaction, you, Dear Host, have turned to us online for Friends! It seems to me that you excel at "Problem Solving!" And, what's more, in this pandemic, many of us are suffering from a lack of variety and good friends. So, in starting this column, you're not only helping yourself with your own isolation, but you're helping hundreds, (or is it thousands? of us), with a lack of outside contact as well!
Talk about a "Win-Win" solution! Thanks so very much for reaching out to us, your loyal listeners, and giving us the opportunity to be with you, and with other loyal fans as well! It's almost as good as a PHC cruise - and a lot less expensive!
Along this line, I was thinking of our cruises the other day, and I remembered the time we took a bus tour to the Mayan ruins in Mexico. About half an hour after we left port, the PA began announcing "Patricia Richmond (not her real name), please come to the Bursar's office." This went on for a couple of hours. I had ridden to the ruins next to Patricia, so I really began wondering what was up. I went by the Bursar's office and asked about my seatmate. They replied that Holland America's ships are on a tight schedule, and have to pay significant docking fees. I mentioned that the last time I had seen Patricia, she was off on a "quick" souvenir shopping trip. She didn't show up in the ferry terminal for our trip back to the ship. "What will happen to her?" I asked. "Well, she'll probably fly back home, but it could be that her travel insurance won't pick up the extra charge. It happens maybe once a month or so. If she decides to go on a cruise again, I imagine she'll watch her time in port a whole lot better then she did today!"
For us, helping out with the cost of a substack for GK and Friends is a whole lot cheaper than going on cruises, and meeting the challenges that may come with it! Thanks again, for this "Anti-Pandemic Mental Uplift Opportunity!" Three Cheers!
my favorites among many, the excessive fundraising emails being compared to attacking deerflies, and your mother’s reason for no longer ironing sheets.
Good article, Garrison. Glad that you had a good and safe trip to Florida.
What is a waste of time? I love to spend my time doing what I like to do. Other people are always trying to waste my time. Have you noticed that other people have lots of ideas about how you should spend your time and money? I don't watch television because it is mostly full of ads from people who want to tell me how to spend my time and/or money. On some tv stations, it is all ads with a little program thrown in once in a while.
I am also an advocate for the simple life. I am trying to simplify while many of the people around me are trying to complicate.
What is a waste of time? Many modern people have taken care of the basic needs such as food and shelter, so we have time to pursue other activities. A friend told me that some people have going to the doctor as a hobby. A preacher friend told me years ago that for some people, going to church was a hobby.
But as they say, whatever floats your boat,
Best wishes to one and all and wishing all a happy and prosperous New Year.
There’s more to see in Clearwater Florida than a squirrel sitting on a post.
You're right. It's a hard-drinking town and the bar scene is lively.
Google says: In Clearwater, the summers are long, hot, oppressive, and mostly cloudy; the winters are short, cool, windy, and partly cloudy; and it is wet year round. Over the course of the year, the temperature typically varies from 55°F to 90°F and is rarely below 44°F or above 93°F.
I don't think I'd want to live there.
Good. We are growing so fast that we are getting new area codes for the unbelievable growth of new arrivals. And you can add to your list that’s it’s expensive to live here. Your information is not correct though. We ARE the SUNSHINE STATE. The waiting room for senior citizens… next stop paradise. Movie stars live here. Scientology headquarters also. Come visit us. We have one of worlds first class beaches.
And you also have a Gov'r who is part of that Death Cult party. Not that Alaska is not much better, but at least the school boards have separate powers. At least we are more than 9 feet above the (rising) sea level.
Reading your post is never a waste of time. It brings me joy and always puts a smile on my face.
What on earth is in that jar in the photo?
Thank you, thank you, thank you !! Permission……..at last!!
Hmmmm. Car keys in the refrigerator, cheese in my pocket. Explained!
Lol
Dear GK, I know you were not really fishing for a compliment. But I think that the 5 minutes I took to read your column did give me something: I learned that the vegi was drawer in the fridge is a perfect place to hide all the things, that at 79, I cannot find in their normal places. ;)
I start each morning reading the two emails I receive from you. It is wonderful to recall the Saturday evenings or Sunday morning replayed of PGC. I feel a great void that used to be fill with your wry humor and nostalgic ramblings. Recently I have discovered the Lake Wobegon segments on YouTube. They alone are worth the monthly fee I pay. I fondly remember attending several of your live shows around the state of Florida when I worked there for 35 years. It was great to see in person that you really ware, or did then, red socks. As we both reach a terminal part of life, my prayer is that you outlive me and continue to share your knowledge and thoughts with the rest of us born in a psychological place that time has forgotten.
Right on Garrison. Write on.
Like
You write: "And now irony strikes: you’ve wasted five or six minutes reading my complaints and what usefulness does this offer to you, dear reader? None."
That, sirrah, is not true. It gives comfort knowing we are coming down the mountain like our mother's did, leaving behind the non-essentials. It offers to those septa and octo-generarians among us the comfort of just letting go of what we don't need and worrying not. We're told that our Native American friends who live far enough north of the Mason-Dixon line would put their elderlies on an ice flow and off they went to what all hoped were Happy Grounds. If you read Jack London (and I know you have), there's a fine description of freezing to death by just letting go. There is the comfort of a having a loving dog or loving partner beside you. But you just fade away. Enough of this untimely worry. Your mother was right again. Eschew those wrinkles on our pillows and fit our own wrinkles betwixt. No, many of elders don't sleep like we used to. But one day we will. So it goes.
You need a column, Tom.
I run out of topics and passion too often these days....thanks for good words. I've always loved words of all kinds.
Believe me- no wasted time- you made me laugh.
✔️
Just a suggestion: read the book of Ecclesiastes. Wish you a great day.
I SHALL. I PROMISE.
Oh, and as Ron Popeil would say in the midst of a sale, there's "one more thing."
I want to add to one more comment: There are fine places in Florida on the gulf side, just north of Naples, where the Vanderbilts came in the winter. The beach there is largely pristine, with walking miles of fine sand. Some folks on the beach smile as they walk by. But most don't. Best of all you can sit in a recliner chair on the sand with an umbrella to save your skin from squamous cell cancer, and read that book that needs reading....or the Wallbanger that needs sipping...or the nap that needs taking. Two weeks of that and you're as ready as you can be to step back into the ring. Once again a ready contender.
Brave thoughts, sir, and it may all work that way for you but I dread vacatons, dread inacton, feel it wwll lead to inertia, moodiness, loss of ambition, decay of writing skills, discouragement, depression, and death under the wheels of a bus. But thanks for the thought.
You are an AAA type. The genius group. We love you.
So it's a type! I do not like going on vacation, either, having an innate inability to relax. Vacations drive me batty. I guess some of us are just born that way. :)
✔️
That's one heckuva laundry list of disincentives, good sir. Frankly, those concerns you mention are like the chances of winning the lottery, a curse in itself. But it's equally unlikely whether you buy a ticket or not. My dear wife, years ago, twisted my wrist and off we went to the FL shores. She was happy so I was happy. I learned to love watching those beautiful winter sunsets. Do you know some folks claim to see a green flash at the end of sunset. More likely it's the creme de menthe.
And to counteract inaction, you, Dear Host, have turned to us online for Friends! It seems to me that you excel at "Problem Solving!" And, what's more, in this pandemic, many of us are suffering from a lack of variety and good friends. So, in starting this column, you're not only helping yourself with your own isolation, but you're helping hundreds, (or is it thousands? of us), with a lack of outside contact as well!
Talk about a "Win-Win" solution! Thanks so very much for reaching out to us, your loyal listeners, and giving us the opportunity to be with you, and with other loyal fans as well! It's almost as good as a PHC cruise - and a lot less expensive!
Along this line, I was thinking of our cruises the other day, and I remembered the time we took a bus tour to the Mayan ruins in Mexico. About half an hour after we left port, the PA began announcing "Patricia Richmond (not her real name), please come to the Bursar's office." This went on for a couple of hours. I had ridden to the ruins next to Patricia, so I really began wondering what was up. I went by the Bursar's office and asked about my seatmate. They replied that Holland America's ships are on a tight schedule, and have to pay significant docking fees. I mentioned that the last time I had seen Patricia, she was off on a "quick" souvenir shopping trip. She didn't show up in the ferry terminal for our trip back to the ship. "What will happen to her?" I asked. "Well, she'll probably fly back home, but it could be that her travel insurance won't pick up the extra charge. It happens maybe once a month or so. If she decides to go on a cruise again, I imagine she'll watch her time in port a whole lot better then she did today!"
For us, helping out with the cost of a substack for GK and Friends is a whole lot cheaper than going on cruises, and meeting the challenges that may come with it! Thanks again, for this "Anti-Pandemic Mental Uplift Opportunity!" Three Cheers!
Tell em’ Tom. I live in Clearwater.
We are cool!
Laughing aloud as usual! You're the best, Mr. Keillor!
my favorites among many, the excessive fundraising emails being compared to attacking deerflies, and your mother’s reason for no longer ironing sheets.
Good article, Garrison. Glad that you had a good and safe trip to Florida.
What is a waste of time? I love to spend my time doing what I like to do. Other people are always trying to waste my time. Have you noticed that other people have lots of ideas about how you should spend your time and money? I don't watch television because it is mostly full of ads from people who want to tell me how to spend my time and/or money. On some tv stations, it is all ads with a little program thrown in once in a while.
I am also an advocate for the simple life. I am trying to simplify while many of the people around me are trying to complicate.
What is a waste of time? Many modern people have taken care of the basic needs such as food and shelter, so we have time to pursue other activities. A friend told me that some people have going to the doctor as a hobby. A preacher friend told me years ago that for some people, going to church was a hobby.
But as they say, whatever floats your boat,
Best wishes to one and all and wishing all a happy and prosperous New Year.
❤️
Finally, an explanation of what is happening to me. I'm no longer frightened. I'm terrified.
Don't be terrified, learn to enjoy it - misplacing items confuses the younger generation.