A lot of your posts contain the phase “ I’m 79 and shouldn’t do this or that.” Or “ I’m 79 and my wife would…”.
First, why do you think 79 is one step away from the grave? There is plenty of life in you yet but your thinking is bogged down by negative energy. To me if we set boundaries based on that number we call age we’re selling ourselves short of pleasure and accomplishment. I realize there are things like jumping on a trampoline ( I know this from experience and it was a tiny exercise trampoline) or maybe polar plunges that are pushing the limits of sensible acts. Although I’ve seen elderly folks take such risks. And I also know from your posts that you seemed traumatized by a medical procedure and that could weigh heavy on your risk-taking. Putting that aside I hope you now take note that at least using those words often set you up for a faster decline into decrepitude.
You say everything but how old YOU are. Are you 79 or older? I'm 71 and I get it. The old saw is correct: "life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer the end, the faster it goes".
I am very happy to be 79 and I mention it with pride. It's a great time of life. I recommend it. But one is more likely to reach it if you are aware of certain guardrails. My wife is happier now that I'm not driving anymore. I'm happy to be a passenger.
Dear GK: Last week I received a routine form letter from a non-profit that provides services for the homeless (or "unhoused" which seems to be the new term), thanking me for a year-end donation. The letter was signed by an official of the organization, whose name seemed obviously feminine. Beneath the two lines of the written signature and the typed name and title, was a new line I'd never seen on business correspondence: "she/her/hers". Is that necessary these days? Am I a hopeless old fogey to be surprised by this? Has society gone overboard with striving for correctness? I couldn't think of a better person to ask than you! Thanks.
I get your point, and I understand your (I'm 71) querulousness, but as I understand it it's up to him/her/they. I've whined about the singular (he/she or his/her) being routinely replaced with the plural (them or theirs). Yes, it corrupts the language but that's happened for hundreds of years. We'll get used to it. Best to have no gender at all (I gather some Nordic languages work that way).
"...put up a Biden 2024 sign...", Garrison? A few years ago you wrote that the obvious way forward was to give the nomination "to the old guy", then pass it on to a woman. As far as I'm concerned so far so good. What changed, in your mind?
G'day Gary. In today's P to the H, I see Mr Fields describes Western Australia as 'desolate'. Whilst I share his great fondness for The Book Of Guys, I must deplore his adjective. 'Desolate ' ?!! That's a bit rich coming from a Texan. The very fact that one of your books, GK, was located here, speaks volumes in favour of the State. Like Texas, WA is very large. And it does feature remote regions. But I feel I should stick up for it, and in Keillorian style. Thusly:
As someone who who has driven almost all the non-urban roads in California, all three of Raoul Renaud's itineraries could be awesome (assuming there aren't any fires blocking the way!) But, as one of your devoted readers, your fervid period of writing sounds like the much better option to me! We're eager to see the results! Go, Team, Go! Rah! Rah! Rah!
I'm a 71 yr-old white guy, so take the following in that context.
On "melanized" - I disagree, Garrison. Dr. Sullivan has a point: being white/"non-melanized" becomes the default and therefore, implicitly and even unconsciously, governs the conversation (and everything else). Same with women: read "Invisible Women" by Caroline Criado Perez, or just look it up.
On "bde". Sure there are words: "subdevelopment...subdepartment". I could go on. I get it that names are difficult, but we're doing it in BC, many local names changing to First Nations names. Hard for us white guys, yes, but they're at least entitled to try.
Ravens: there's still time, Garrison: put some peanuts, say, out on your balcony in NYC. The crows will find them and maybe, just maybe, get to know you. They might even bring gifts, one of nature's real miracles.
The One With The Hair and his hero Adolf. True (loves Duterte, too). But so did Henry Ford; had his portrait above his desk. And the admiration was mutual - Hitler had Ford' s portrait in HIS office.
Smug: indeed. My wife has said of me "...he's a pretty humble guy, but then again he has lots to be humble about".
I love words and wanted to become an English major but I needed to make a living. Reading is a nice hobby but I sure wouldn’t want to be a teacher trying to help someone make sense of this mess.
There are so many rules that don’t obey their own rules and I think they’re annoying!
For instance:
i before e except after c or in sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh
so I understand my weight but I don’t get my height.
The inconsistencies are far more than sleight
How can we know which ways are right.
There is no reprieve from the web that they weave
when they practice to deceive.
I’ll resign myself
and just whine in my wine
I’ll tip my beer stein to that
and try to conceive of why in the wide world anyone would be named Keillor!
Love your verse, but I was an English teacher and loved teaching kids all the vagaries of the English language. My foremost pet peeve was breaking students of the "like" habit:("I was like in class like the other day and like the teacher said like we should like do our home work"). I was rewarded when several students returned from college to tell me their classmates were driving them crazy with all the likes in their conversation.
80 is a big number, but on the other hand, it’s just one more than 79… and 79 wasn’t that much more different than 78…welcome to Life’s Big Dimmer Switch.
Ballad parodies! Wonderful!!! I'm looking forward to singing them. I love parodies, and some ballads are badly in need of them. Are you acquainted with the work of Les Barker? If not, you're in for a delightful surprise.
In your response to Dorothy’s thoughts on wasted time, I was struck by your use of the phrase “destroying the planet”.
While it’s hard to dispute we are destroying the planet, I question whether the use of such terms serves in the best interests of protecting our “Mother”. So much is framed in hyperbole today, I fear it dulls us to the urgency of many issues.
I suggest substituting “consuming” for “destroying”, or its synonyms. It’s more accurate. After all, isn’t that what we’re doing? Consuming is more a statement of fact than evaluation. Perhaps with less evaluative (and less condemning) terms we can move more willingly and cooperatively to conserve, reuse, repurpose and overall consume more wisely the fruits our Mother provides.
While I’m on my soapbox, in a similar vein, how about we replace any use of “fighting” or its synonyms (including military terminology) with “working” and its synonyms. Couldn’t that frame issues in a less confrontational context, and instead frame them in a more constructive manner, leading to more cooperative approaches to addressing issues and resolving differences? Simply put, instead of fighting against, let’s work with. (Please excuse the dangling preposition!)
Accuse me of playing semantics, but I believe these are two examples where re-phrasing could benefit us all. Maybe changing the words could change attitudes and behaviors. Seems worth trying.
Thanks for all the years of putting a smile on my face and joy in my heart. You’ve made a difference!
I have read your comments about Lake Bde Maka Ska and feel certain that an English major like you could master that name in about forty seconds (I pronounce the first word like "bidet" without the "i"). But if you really want to challenge yourself, you should work on Lake Chargarrgaggarrchaubunagungamaug, found a little south of Worcester, MA. Locals tend to call it Webster Lake. The Native American name is displayed in several places in town and spelled differently in each place. Clearly, no English majors there!
Enjoy the rest of the ride. You are undoubtedly helping others enjoy theirs.
Gina Bliss - I don't know how much close contact you've had with Native Americans? Out west, I used to drive around the Navajo Reservation (the size of Connecticut without a seashore) and pick up Dine (The People) hitchhikers. Now, in Iroquois Nation lands, my contacts are more limited. My main contact is a librarian at a local library who grew up on reservation lands and went to school there. As part of a much smaller group, her "tribal" sense is much more limited than the Navajos who choose to live on the reservation.
In terms of "poverty," the picture seems to be that her birthplace is in a matriarchal society. The woman in charge looks around at the different houses available. If one has been modernized, or expanded, or in some way seems "better" to her eye than her present residence - she can simply oust the current resident and move in. With a custom like this, there's little wonder that when I drive around her natal reservation, most of the buildings seem to be falling apart!
On the other hand, if you weren't aware of it, other than being more softly spoken than many American women, there's nothing that would cue you in to her Native American heritage and upbringing. She's as fully assimilated as anyone you'd meet of, say, Irish or Italian or German Americans are. I've mentioned my acquaintances from the Navajo Nation a time or two, but they seem as "strange" to her as they might to anyone else who hasn't spent a lot of time in the Southwest.
As for "poverty" , "Legitimate Tribal Nations" have been experiencing an economic boon in New York State for the past half century or so. Gambling used to be illegal locally, until the native Americans successfully lobbied that games of chance were part of their cultural heritage. Several Tribal organizations have constructed huge, multistory casinos and hotel accommodations. Gambling buses from major cities bring loads of folks in to unload their money at the tables and slot machines. Interestingly enough, from what I've observed in the neighborhood, most of the employees at these establishments are non-indigenous Americans of European or other roots, not tribal members themselves! It seems as though the "Tribes" have basically morphed into capitalistic corporations - there's little "Native" about them.
In America, we have statues of Christopher Columbus, we celebrate St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo. Many of us understand that "Custer's Last Stand" was a remnant of a genocidal war that should have been an embarrassment to all Americans of any stripe. I'm glad that we live in a multicultural environment in this century. Like you, Gina, I hope that mutual understanding and acceptance of tribal peoples continues to grow in the future.
Dear GK
A lot of your posts contain the phase “ I’m 79 and shouldn’t do this or that.” Or “ I’m 79 and my wife would…”.
First, why do you think 79 is one step away from the grave? There is plenty of life in you yet but your thinking is bogged down by negative energy. To me if we set boundaries based on that number we call age we’re selling ourselves short of pleasure and accomplishment. I realize there are things like jumping on a trampoline ( I know this from experience and it was a tiny exercise trampoline) or maybe polar plunges that are pushing the limits of sensible acts. Although I’ve seen elderly folks take such risks. And I also know from your posts that you seemed traumatized by a medical procedure and that could weigh heavy on your risk-taking. Putting that aside I hope you now take note that at least using those words often set you up for a faster decline into decrepitude.
Lighten up GK.
Regards,
Pam R.
Colonial Beach,Va.
You say everything but how old YOU are. Are you 79 or older? I'm 71 and I get it. The old saw is correct: "life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer the end, the faster it goes".
I am very happy to be 79 and I mention it with pride. It's a great time of life. I recommend it. But one is more likely to reach it if you are aware of certain guardrails. My wife is happier now that I'm not driving anymore. I'm happy to be a passenger.
Dear GK: Last week I received a routine form letter from a non-profit that provides services for the homeless (or "unhoused" which seems to be the new term), thanking me for a year-end donation. The letter was signed by an official of the organization, whose name seemed obviously feminine. Beneath the two lines of the written signature and the typed name and title, was a new line I'd never seen on business correspondence: "she/her/hers". Is that necessary these days? Am I a hopeless old fogey to be surprised by this? Has society gone overboard with striving for correctness? I couldn't think of a better person to ask than you! Thanks.
I get your point, and I understand your (I'm 71) querulousness, but as I understand it it's up to him/her/they. I've whined about the singular (he/she or his/her) being routinely replaced with the plural (them or theirs). Yes, it corrupts the language but that's happened for hundreds of years. We'll get used to it. Best to have no gender at all (I gather some Nordic languages work that way).
"...put up a Biden 2024 sign...", Garrison? A few years ago you wrote that the obvious way forward was to give the nomination "to the old guy", then pass it on to a woman. As far as I'm concerned so far so good. What changed, in your mind?
G'day Gary. In today's P to the H, I see Mr Fields describes Western Australia as 'desolate'. Whilst I share his great fondness for The Book Of Guys, I must deplore his adjective. 'Desolate ' ?!! That's a bit rich coming from a Texan. The very fact that one of your books, GK, was located here, speaks volumes in favour of the State. Like Texas, WA is very large. And it does feature remote regions. But I feel I should stick up for it, and in Keillorian style. Thusly:
So, it's desolate, our WA ?
What a terribly unkind thing to say
WA has fine wines
And sceneries sublime
I suggest that you visit some day
Chris Wells
Perth, Western Australia
As someone who who has driven almost all the non-urban roads in California, all three of Raoul Renaud's itineraries could be awesome (assuming there aren't any fires blocking the way!) But, as one of your devoted readers, your fervid period of writing sounds like the much better option to me! We're eager to see the results! Go, Team, Go! Rah! Rah! Rah!
I'm a 71 yr-old white guy, so take the following in that context.
On "melanized" - I disagree, Garrison. Dr. Sullivan has a point: being white/"non-melanized" becomes the default and therefore, implicitly and even unconsciously, governs the conversation (and everything else). Same with women: read "Invisible Women" by Caroline Criado Perez, or just look it up.
On "bde". Sure there are words: "subdevelopment...subdepartment". I could go on. I get it that names are difficult, but we're doing it in BC, many local names changing to First Nations names. Hard for us white guys, yes, but they're at least entitled to try.
Ravens: there's still time, Garrison: put some peanuts, say, out on your balcony in NYC. The crows will find them and maybe, just maybe, get to know you. They might even bring gifts, one of nature's real miracles.
The One With The Hair and his hero Adolf. True (loves Duterte, too). But so did Henry Ford; had his portrait above his desk. And the admiration was mutual - Hitler had Ford' s portrait in HIS office.
Smug: indeed. My wife has said of me "...he's a pretty humble guy, but then again he has lots to be humble about".
Take care, all, and get your booster.
Dear Dear Garrison,
I love words and wanted to become an English major but I needed to make a living. Reading is a nice hobby but I sure wouldn’t want to be a teacher trying to help someone make sense of this mess.
There are so many rules that don’t obey their own rules and I think they’re annoying!
For instance:
i before e except after c or in sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh
so I understand my weight but I don’t get my height.
The inconsistencies are far more than sleight
How can we know which ways are right.
There is no reprieve from the web that they weave
when they practice to deceive.
I’ll resign myself
and just whine in my wine
I’ll tip my beer stein to that
and try to conceive of why in the wide world anyone would be named Keillor!
What rhymes with that??
vowels are a,e,i,o,u and sometimes Y
sometimes not.
It’s enough to tie my stomach into a knot!
I don’t see the point in the u in Calhoun.
For on that lake I saw a loon just last noon.
I bet the guy was a just a goon.
So I sit and ponder on my bidet
So many grey gray areas I pray
we don’t become linguistic prey
to large toothy animals that do nothing but bray.
How to pronounce Bde Maka Ska
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3MWNGWPGvg
It’s not hard and it rolls off the tongue nicely.
Sound it out: ba day ma ka ska
say it a few times, it’s fun. I like it. I think it’ll catch on. Maybe after all the rigid old timers named Krebsbach and Sven with a w have passed.
Take Care,
Keep doing good work.
Love,
Pat B.
near the Mackinac Bridge which spans the Mackinac straights and ends in Mackinaw City!
Love your verse, but I was an English teacher and loved teaching kids all the vagaries of the English language. My foremost pet peeve was breaking students of the "like" habit:("I was like in class like the other day and like the teacher said like we should like do our home work"). I was rewarded when several students returned from college to tell me their classmates were driving them crazy with all the likes in their conversation.
Best to you!
Damon W.
80 is a big number, but on the other hand, it’s just one more than 79… and 79 wasn’t that much more different than 78…welcome to Life’s Big Dimmer Switch.
Ballad parodies! Wonderful!!! I'm looking forward to singing them. I love parodies, and some ballads are badly in need of them. Are you acquainted with the work of Les Barker? If not, you're in for a delightful surprise.
Garrison,
In your response to Dorothy’s thoughts on wasted time, I was struck by your use of the phrase “destroying the planet”.
While it’s hard to dispute we are destroying the planet, I question whether the use of such terms serves in the best interests of protecting our “Mother”. So much is framed in hyperbole today, I fear it dulls us to the urgency of many issues.
I suggest substituting “consuming” for “destroying”, or its synonyms. It’s more accurate. After all, isn’t that what we’re doing? Consuming is more a statement of fact than evaluation. Perhaps with less evaluative (and less condemning) terms we can move more willingly and cooperatively to conserve, reuse, repurpose and overall consume more wisely the fruits our Mother provides.
While I’m on my soapbox, in a similar vein, how about we replace any use of “fighting” or its synonyms (including military terminology) with “working” and its synonyms. Couldn’t that frame issues in a less confrontational context, and instead frame them in a more constructive manner, leading to more cooperative approaches to addressing issues and resolving differences? Simply put, instead of fighting against, let’s work with. (Please excuse the dangling preposition!)
Accuse me of playing semantics, but I believe these are two examples where re-phrasing could benefit us all. Maybe changing the words could change attitudes and behaviors. Seems worth trying.
Thanks for all the years of putting a smile on my face and joy in my heart. You’ve made a difference!
Bob E.
Dear Garrison,
I have read your comments about Lake Bde Maka Ska and feel certain that an English major like you could master that name in about forty seconds (I pronounce the first word like "bidet" without the "i"). But if you really want to challenge yourself, you should work on Lake Chargarrgaggarrchaubunagungamaug, found a little south of Worcester, MA. Locals tend to call it Webster Lake. The Native American name is displayed in several places in town and spelled differently in each place. Clearly, no English majors there!
Enjoy the rest of the ride. You are undoubtedly helping others enjoy theirs.
Damon White
Osprey, FL
I actually misspelled the name. It should be Lake Chargarrgaggarrmanchaugaggarrchaubunagungamaug
Gina Bliss - I don't know how much close contact you've had with Native Americans? Out west, I used to drive around the Navajo Reservation (the size of Connecticut without a seashore) and pick up Dine (The People) hitchhikers. Now, in Iroquois Nation lands, my contacts are more limited. My main contact is a librarian at a local library who grew up on reservation lands and went to school there. As part of a much smaller group, her "tribal" sense is much more limited than the Navajos who choose to live on the reservation.
In terms of "poverty," the picture seems to be that her birthplace is in a matriarchal society. The woman in charge looks around at the different houses available. If one has been modernized, or expanded, or in some way seems "better" to her eye than her present residence - she can simply oust the current resident and move in. With a custom like this, there's little wonder that when I drive around her natal reservation, most of the buildings seem to be falling apart!
On the other hand, if you weren't aware of it, other than being more softly spoken than many American women, there's nothing that would cue you in to her Native American heritage and upbringing. She's as fully assimilated as anyone you'd meet of, say, Irish or Italian or German Americans are. I've mentioned my acquaintances from the Navajo Nation a time or two, but they seem as "strange" to her as they might to anyone else who hasn't spent a lot of time in the Southwest.
As for "poverty" , "Legitimate Tribal Nations" have been experiencing an economic boon in New York State for the past half century or so. Gambling used to be illegal locally, until the native Americans successfully lobbied that games of chance were part of their cultural heritage. Several Tribal organizations have constructed huge, multistory casinos and hotel accommodations. Gambling buses from major cities bring loads of folks in to unload their money at the tables and slot machines. Interestingly enough, from what I've observed in the neighborhood, most of the employees at these establishments are non-indigenous Americans of European or other roots, not tribal members themselves! It seems as though the "Tribes" have basically morphed into capitalistic corporations - there's little "Native" about them.
In America, we have statues of Christopher Columbus, we celebrate St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo. Many of us understand that "Custer's Last Stand" was a remnant of a genocidal war that should have been an embarrassment to all Americans of any stripe. I'm glad that we live in a multicultural environment in this century. Like you, Gina, I hope that mutual understanding and acceptance of tribal peoples continues to grow in the future.