Honored that you voluntarily joined we millions of Johnsons when you reached for a nom de plume. Sharing both my first and last name with over 25,000 Americans, I settled on an AKA of Ignatius Gerumpany, finally achieving a unique moniker. It never caught on, though. Your well known name is a great conglomeration of big letters like G and K, tall ones like the double Ls and the scampering little Os and Rs. Glad that you did not persist to be Gary Johnson, though we would (as I said) welcome into the tribe.
Reference to graduation speeches kindled my memory of the advice you gave in your old "Mr. Blue" column about how to do one. I copied it off for use in case I ever had to do one and found it in the depths of my computer hard drive. Likely now at age 96 I'll never be called upon to deliver one. Anyway, here's a copy and paste of what you wrote.
John B. Webster
"The speech should be about four pages, double-spaced. Could be shorter but absolutely no longer. You must remember to work the microphone very close, but without blowing into it and popping it: Commencement venues have notoriously terrible sound systems. You must avoid the Large Man-On-The-Mountaintop Opening, which is an audience killer -- "As I stand here before you, looking out at all these hopeful faces, I can't help but think of what Kahlil Gibran wrote ..." That sort of thing. Also avoid indirection. Start with a simple story. Something about an ancestor of yours or some ancient figure in that town, a story in which the identity of the hero and the era in which the story takes place is not revealed until the end. ("That man was my great-grandfather. He graduated from this school 100 years ago yesterday.") A story that exemplifies confidence and self-reliance and bravery, but with some humor. That's Page 1 and part of 2. Then you amplify on the meaning of the story a little. Perhaps you tell another story. You end up by congratulating the grads and congratulating their parents. You wish them well. And then, to their amazement, you sit down. You haven't told them to march to their own drummer or light a candle and you haven't tooted your own horn and you haven't droned on for 20 minutes. You were graceful and cogent and you only took eight minutes. They'll be stunned with gratitude."
"Cheerfulness" arrived this afternoon, just as I was about to submit to the dispiriting online "training" they make us academics do. Decided I'd take cheer instead. No regrets. But also "no more mewling and sniveling" about these annoying bureaucratic hoops, every occupation has its petty annoyances.
You were hired by your hometown paper at 14 to write sports? Me too. In my case it led somehow to a career in academia, I think you took the better road less traveled.
My claustrophobic wife doesn't like caverns and other tight spaces but she's acquiesced, we look forward to seeing you in September in Grundy County TN (row G).
GK: Kudos here to old John Webster and his hard drive, pulling up Keillor's Rules of Brevity!! I seem to recall, running on what's left of my soft drive, that Abraham Lincoln was criticized for cutting it short at the Gettysburg dedication.....and he didn't have access to your sage advice.
Phi Beta Kappans are just regular people who happened to like school and who did well in college as majors in liberal arts subjects. They have great senses of humor and tend to appreciate literary and classical allusions. There are probably many of them among the people who attend your performances.
Will Muskens, thank you. I am going to make that cashew chicken.
hmmmmm. Imagine getting my address wrong.
Grub hub good, recipes bad ☹️
Honored that you voluntarily joined we millions of Johnsons when you reached for a nom de plume. Sharing both my first and last name with over 25,000 Americans, I settled on an AKA of Ignatius Gerumpany, finally achieving a unique moniker. It never caught on, though. Your well known name is a great conglomeration of big letters like G and K, tall ones like the double Ls and the scampering little Os and Rs. Glad that you did not persist to be Gary Johnson, though we would (as I said) welcome into the tribe.
Dear GK
Reference to graduation speeches kindled my memory of the advice you gave in your old "Mr. Blue" column about how to do one. I copied it off for use in case I ever had to do one and found it in the depths of my computer hard drive. Likely now at age 96 I'll never be called upon to deliver one. Anyway, here's a copy and paste of what you wrote.
John B. Webster
"The speech should be about four pages, double-spaced. Could be shorter but absolutely no longer. You must remember to work the microphone very close, but without blowing into it and popping it: Commencement venues have notoriously terrible sound systems. You must avoid the Large Man-On-The-Mountaintop Opening, which is an audience killer -- "As I stand here before you, looking out at all these hopeful faces, I can't help but think of what Kahlil Gibran wrote ..." That sort of thing. Also avoid indirection. Start with a simple story. Something about an ancestor of yours or some ancient figure in that town, a story in which the identity of the hero and the era in which the story takes place is not revealed until the end. ("That man was my great-grandfather. He graduated from this school 100 years ago yesterday.") A story that exemplifies confidence and self-reliance and bravery, but with some humor. That's Page 1 and part of 2. Then you amplify on the meaning of the story a little. Perhaps you tell another story. You end up by congratulating the grads and congratulating their parents. You wish them well. And then, to their amazement, you sit down. You haven't told them to march to their own drummer or light a candle and you haven't tooted your own horn and you haven't droned on for 20 minutes. You were graceful and cogent and you only took eight minutes. They'll be stunned with gratitude."
"Cheerfulness" arrived this afternoon, just as I was about to submit to the dispiriting online "training" they make us academics do. Decided I'd take cheer instead. No regrets. But also "no more mewling and sniveling" about these annoying bureaucratic hoops, every occupation has its petty annoyances.
You were hired by your hometown paper at 14 to write sports? Me too. In my case it led somehow to a career in academia, I think you took the better road less traveled.
My claustrophobic wife doesn't like caverns and other tight spaces but she's acquiesced, we look forward to seeing you in September in Grundy County TN (row G).
GK: Kudos here to old John Webster and his hard drive, pulling up Keillor's Rules of Brevity!! I seem to recall, running on what's left of my soft drive, that Abraham Lincoln was criticized for cutting it short at the Gettysburg dedication.....and he didn't have access to your sage advice.
Phi Beta Kappans are just regular people who happened to like school and who did well in college as majors in liberal arts subjects. They have great senses of humor and tend to appreciate literary and classical allusions. There are probably many of them among the people who attend your performances.
I'm using your central park comment in a class as an example of how to deal with internet bullies graciously.