Those who advise guys to urinate in a seated position are wrong. The architecture of the male urinary tract doesn't allow for proper voiding of the bladder from a seated position. While it is true the toilet is not designed for male urinary needs, that isn't our fault. We do the best we can with what is given.
Kevin, I am deeply grateful for this advice even though I don't see an M.D. or Ph.D after your name but perhaps you're just modest. The day I need to sit to pee is the day I head for a quiet life at Happy Dale, watching golf on TV and reading old Reader's Digests. Thank you. GK
Reading one of your letters prompted a lovely memory of oysters and my father, Harry Blons. I had joined the St. Paul musicians union in 1962 when I was 19, which allowed my dad to hire me to play guitar with his band at a club called The Lost Spur. On one of the breaks he’d have the kitchen send him six oysters on the half shell. He offered me a taste, and I was hooked. Later he got the notion of buying several dozen and bringing them home. It took us weeks to finish them off, since no one else in the house would touch them.
That gig was magical, although I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time. I was welcomed on the bandstand, which is something that older jazz musicians have always done for younger ones, even though I was the boss’s kid and didn’t know the Dixieland repertoire very well. They helped me learn tunes while playing them. I got to play with my father quite often over the next 25 years, which turned out to be our best moments together. Much later, thinking about that first gig, I realized in hiring me he added to his payroll. I can’t imagine the club would have popped for someone so inexperienced and unneeded. He probably just paid me out of his pocket. Never said a word.
I still like playing jazz and eating oysters, but I’m hopeless at opening them myself.
Harry Blons and His Orchestra: I remember it from the marquee at the Prom Ballroom in St. Paul. I tended to favor the Hall Brothers New Orleans Jazz Band because my old classmate Butch Thompson played clarinet in it, but that's a sweet story about your dad hiring you, green as you were. Not many sons get the chance to work with their dads.
How do you read while peeing standing up? Join the Germans and become a sitzpinkler and you'll get through 2 or 3 more books a year. Try it. You'll like it.
I grew up with four brothers and raised two sons - as far as I know, none of the men in my life, my husband included, sit to urinate. Proper or not, I wouldn't expect them to either, though my hubby either has good aim or politely makes sure he cleans up the evidence of any misses, because there's never any mess after he's used the toilet. :)
One solution is th use of a "receptacle cup", to remain neat and tidy. A thorough rinse or "into the toilet... finishes the deal... Guys are endowed ....with certain, inalienable rights. Gals might have less common containers, that may exist..... Mabe Garrison can "versify " on the topic. GK?
What a potpourri of ideas in this Post to the Host! Your description of hitting the center of the toilet bowl brings back alternative gender memories! My long-time boss consistently used a one-roomer that was shared by most of our secretarial staff - i.e. mostly women. My boss, Ann, was a "distance shooter"- I assume she figured the seat had "Cooties!" The secretary across the hall finally put a sign up on the wall: "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!
It didn't seem to do any good. I suppose the culprit couldn't imagine that it applied to her. This comment is just to let you know that toilet seat sprinkling is a Gender Neutral Sport!
Along that line, Jeannine, I once had the opportunity to go to a Toastmasters International Speech contest in Nevada. A member of our club had been a local winner, and our whole club went to cheer him on. Sally Ride was the featured speaker at the convention. She was still in the NASA Astronaut's training session. "Unexpected challenges in space" was her theme. She held up a toilet-shaped white disk with a single, small hole in it. She prefixed her discussion with the remark that in space there wouldn't be any "gravity" to direct the liquid down. For her male counterparts, she noted, the task was rather easy - they were used to directing the flow. As the first woman , though, her task was much harder. How do you "aim" when you can't see the target? For her, this was one of the most difficult tasks in all of her training. She could go into the NASA swimming pool and simulate a "space walk" to make external repairs on the spacecraft or a docked satellite. She could "fly" through the space craft, open packages of dehydrated food and add water to "cook" and figure out how to tie down for her hours off watch. She finally did pass the test, though, much to the relief of her fellow astronauts on that outer space venture!
Urologists disagree with Kevin's comment to the effect that male anatomy doesn't allow for proper urination unless standing. Surprising as it may be, men who stand to urinate (except in public restrooms) seem to be in a minority now. I've noticed that it's become less common in homes to hear the distinct sound of a guy peeing while standing. When this topic comes up, a lot of men say "I have good aim," or "I wipe the seat afterwards." What they apparently haven't thought of is that liquid from the toilet inevitably splashes outside the bowl and onto the floor. As a result, any bathroom where a man regularly stands to pee will quickly take on the odor of urine (unless frequently mopped with strong cleansers, of course). This is a particular problem in carpeted bathrooms. Those who use the bathroom all the time may not notice the steadily increasing odor, but their guests certainly will. In short, sitting to pee is better for the environment, because it reduces the need for the use of strong chemical cleansers. The laws of physics also dictate that when urine splashes out of a toilet, it also gets on one's pants, making one's legs a much more attractive sniffing target for dogs. Many public urinals are so poorly designed that you can feel moisture on your pants after using them. If you visit a Japanese home, you are given a pair of slippers to use during your visit. If you go to the bathroom, you are expected to remove them and change into a communal pair of bathroom slippers. It's all just the laws of physics.
Dear Mr. Keillor,
Those who advise guys to urinate in a seated position are wrong. The architecture of the male urinary tract doesn't allow for proper voiding of the bladder from a seated position. While it is true the toilet is not designed for male urinary needs, that isn't our fault. We do the best we can with what is given.
Yours,
Kevin Marsh
Avon Park, Florida
Kevin, I am deeply grateful for this advice even though I don't see an M.D. or Ph.D after your name but perhaps you're just modest. The day I need to sit to pee is the day I head for a quiet life at Happy Dale, watching golf on TV and reading old Reader's Digests. Thank you. GK
Reading one of your letters prompted a lovely memory of oysters and my father, Harry Blons. I had joined the St. Paul musicians union in 1962 when I was 19, which allowed my dad to hire me to play guitar with his band at a club called The Lost Spur. On one of the breaks he’d have the kitchen send him six oysters on the half shell. He offered me a taste, and I was hooked. Later he got the notion of buying several dozen and bringing them home. It took us weeks to finish them off, since no one else in the house would touch them.
That gig was magical, although I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time. I was welcomed on the bandstand, which is something that older jazz musicians have always done for younger ones, even though I was the boss’s kid and didn’t know the Dixieland repertoire very well. They helped me learn tunes while playing them. I got to play with my father quite often over the next 25 years, which turned out to be our best moments together. Much later, thinking about that first gig, I realized in hiring me he added to his payroll. I can’t imagine the club would have popped for someone so inexperienced and unneeded. He probably just paid me out of his pocket. Never said a word.
I still like playing jazz and eating oysters, but I’m hopeless at opening them myself.
Harry Blons and His Orchestra: I remember it from the marquee at the Prom Ballroom in St. Paul. I tended to favor the Hall Brothers New Orleans Jazz Band because my old classmate Butch Thompson played clarinet in it, but that's a sweet story about your dad hiring you, green as you were. Not many sons get the chance to work with their dads.
I got to play with Butch, too. People mostly know him on piano but he’s a wonderful clarinetist. My dad’s instrument, too, you may recall.
Dear Mr. Keillor,
How do you read while peeing standing up? Join the Germans and become a sitzpinkler and you'll get through 2 or 3 more books a year. Try it. You'll like it.
Otto
Arcola, Illinois
One reads while defecating, of course. 😁
See the letter above from Dr. Kevin Marsh, the urinary tract specialist.
I grew up with four brothers and raised two sons - as far as I know, none of the men in my life, my husband included, sit to urinate. Proper or not, I wouldn't expect them to either, though my hubby either has good aim or politely makes sure he cleans up the evidence of any misses, because there's never any mess after he's used the toilet. :)
Ms. Scott, you need a slow-cooker.
One solution is th use of a "receptacle cup", to remain neat and tidy. A thorough rinse or "into the toilet... finishes the deal... Guys are endowed ....with certain, inalienable rights. Gals might have less common containers, that may exist..... Mabe Garrison can "versify " on the topic. GK?
What a potpourri of ideas in this Post to the Host! Your description of hitting the center of the toilet bowl brings back alternative gender memories! My long-time boss consistently used a one-roomer that was shared by most of our secretarial staff - i.e. mostly women. My boss, Ann, was a "distance shooter"- I assume she figured the seat had "Cooties!" The secretary across the hall finally put a sign up on the wall: "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!
It didn't seem to do any good. I suppose the culprit couldn't imagine that it applied to her. This comment is just to let you know that toilet seat sprinkling is a Gender Neutral Sport!
I was always jealous of my brothers' ability to write in the snow...
Along that line, Jeannine, I once had the opportunity to go to a Toastmasters International Speech contest in Nevada. A member of our club had been a local winner, and our whole club went to cheer him on. Sally Ride was the featured speaker at the convention. She was still in the NASA Astronaut's training session. "Unexpected challenges in space" was her theme. She held up a toilet-shaped white disk with a single, small hole in it. She prefixed her discussion with the remark that in space there wouldn't be any "gravity" to direct the liquid down. For her male counterparts, she noted, the task was rather easy - they were used to directing the flow. As the first woman , though, her task was much harder. How do you "aim" when you can't see the target? For her, this was one of the most difficult tasks in all of her training. She could go into the NASA swimming pool and simulate a "space walk" to make external repairs on the spacecraft or a docked satellite. She could "fly" through the space craft, open packages of dehydrated food and add water to "cook" and figure out how to tie down for her hours off watch. She finally did pass the test, though, much to the relief of her fellow astronauts on that outer space venture!
Urologists disagree with Kevin's comment to the effect that male anatomy doesn't allow for proper urination unless standing. Surprising as it may be, men who stand to urinate (except in public restrooms) seem to be in a minority now. I've noticed that it's become less common in homes to hear the distinct sound of a guy peeing while standing. When this topic comes up, a lot of men say "I have good aim," or "I wipe the seat afterwards." What they apparently haven't thought of is that liquid from the toilet inevitably splashes outside the bowl and onto the floor. As a result, any bathroom where a man regularly stands to pee will quickly take on the odor of urine (unless frequently mopped with strong cleansers, of course). This is a particular problem in carpeted bathrooms. Those who use the bathroom all the time may not notice the steadily increasing odor, but their guests certainly will. In short, sitting to pee is better for the environment, because it reduces the need for the use of strong chemical cleansers. The laws of physics also dictate that when urine splashes out of a toilet, it also gets on one's pants, making one's legs a much more attractive sniffing target for dogs. Many public urinals are so poorly designed that you can feel moisture on your pants after using them. If you visit a Japanese home, you are given a pair of slippers to use during your visit. If you go to the bathroom, you are expected to remove them and change into a communal pair of bathroom slippers. It's all just the laws of physics.
Carpeted bathrooms are a special sort of horror that I believed had vanished with the 1970s.
😂🤣 I love this. So true.