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Comments from the week of 04.09.23

I just finished reading Pontoon and thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the joke about the Danes ordering danish and scoffing at it. I’m hoping the only reason you chose that nationality was to make that joke.

Viva Wobegon!
Shawn

Anything for a joke, sir. I’ve told the story several times and sometimes make them Norwegian and sometimes Chicagoans, but in performance the story works better if it’s told in a rush, a flood of details, and usually the pastry gets left out. GK

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Dear Garrison,

You mentioned in a recent column your assessment of yourself as a student at the University of Minnesota, and my husband (Edgar) was a TA for your professor who taught Milton and he remembers you sitting by the window, your feet up on the windowsill, looking out the window. My husband thinks the professor was Dr. Levy, but 60 years on, he’s not sure of the name, although he is certain it was a Milton course. By that time, you had your own radio show on campus, so my husband thought you were probably more focused on that than on Milton. And given the trajectory of your career, it was probably smart of you to focus on your radio show rather than on Milton.

My husband and I will be in the audience for your show in Lexington, Massachusetts. My sister owns a popular cookie bakery in Arlington, just down the road from Lexington. Could we bring you a box of cookies?

Looking forward to your show!
Beverly and Edgar Harvey

My Milton professor, Toni McNaron, put her heart and soul into teaching Milton, even though she was a staunch feminist scholar, but the cadences of Paradise Lost didn’t catch on with me, though I managed to write the term paper and get a decent grade. Radio, on the other hand, was easy. Nobody else was interested in it and so there was no competition and I got lucky and sailed on and started A Prairie Home Companion whereas people I knew who, say, went into architecture had a rough time getting work. My brother was an engineer and it took him a while to find the right career path. Blind luck was my biggest asset. I am now almost over feeling guilty about that. GK

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Hello, Garrison.

I used to live in St. Paul and saw quite a few shows, enjoying the rush line experience. I even wrote to you once to tell you about my Aunt Tillie who was a fan of yours but a bit disappointed when she found out Lake Wobegon was fictional. I sent you pictures of my North Dakota farmer Uncle Ole making “cat food sandwiches” for the barn cats and was delighted when you handwrote a thank-you postcard. He lived to almost 101. There are many Ole stories in our family.

I really enjoy your appreciation of your wife. I think the secret to a happy marriage is feeling cherished and I’m sure she feels that. Ole and Tillie’s sister, my aunt Betty, and her saint-of-a-husband, Oscar, played Scrabble for many years, in fact 27 years! She was given a two-year prognosis with ALS in her early 30s but had a strong will to live, raising her three little boys, and had the gift of being cherished and cared for in spite of being completely an invalid for 27 years! Oscar never once complained or felt sorry for himself! This was a remarkable example for our whole clan. Her husband and one son taught U.S. History and collaborated with her to write her autobiography and taped two documentaries covering their life and also the subjects of Norwegian Immigration and aging well with Oscar, expressing his sage advice and wishes for future generations. Her body was very atrophied but her mind as sharp as could be. She was cared for at home by family only and was able to see her three sons get their doctorate degrees, marry, and have grandchildren.

I’m glad you are writing a book about cheerfulness.

Best wishes for continued good health and happiness,

JoAnn Ronning

That is a great story about your aunt Betty and her Oscar and the three boys. The heroism of ordinary life. I have never been a caregiver and I plead guilty to selfishness. Oscar and family caring for Betty is a saga of love almost beyond my comprehension. GK

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Dear Garrison,

I’ve been reading about the rat problem in New York and the appointment of Ms. Corradi as “Director of Rodent Mitigation” at $155,000 per year and presumably she will also receive a bounty for every rat she catches, which could be in the millions. You need to go to town on this topic.

Best wishes,

Will Muskens

We live on the 12^th floor, sir, and rats have not yet learned to climb drainpipes or grown wings, so it’s not our problem. My wife goes running in the park and she sees them and finds them disgusting but I sit up here at a computer and don’t give it a thought. Rats are proliferating because there’s an abundance of food in New York and if no kids are going hungry, then I can leave the rats to the eagles and owls flying around. GK

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Dear Mr. Keillor,

I write to let you know you are featured in a poem I wrote. This poem is a finalist for the NORward Prize for Poetry and will be featured in the upcoming fall issue of New Ohio Review. The title, What’s With All These Foxes.

Kindest regards,
Gwendolyn Soper

Gwendolyn, you’re the first person to put me into a poem and I feel honored but I don’t need to see the poem though I do hope you win the big prize. I am working on a collection of poems myself, entitled “Brisk Verse,” and plan to bring it out this year. The poems are all cheerful, literal, descriptive, nothing mournful or ruminative. GK

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