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Comments from the week of 06.17.24

Jun 17, 2024

Hello Garrison,

I’m a card carrying, bona fide, lifelong liberal. But to be honest, I miss having an opposition party that’s true to their mission statement. Used to be that the Republican message could be stated simply: reduce the size of government, pass the resulting savings back to the people in the form of tax reduction and deficit reduction. Allow folks to do, in their personal, private lives, whatever they’re drawn to do, as long as the government is not asked to pay for it. A party like that would be an appealing choice now and then, as an alternative to what I consider to be government’s correct role, to help those who are struggling, and provide for the common good.

But the Republican Party these days is best described by HRC’s comment — a basket of deplorables!

What happened?
Chris Gilbert

It’s a long story, I’m sure. I’d just say that some negotiations have succeeded in passing legislation and probably the negotiators avoided using the word “deplorables.” But November will tell the tale. GK

Dear Garrison,

As an eighty-year-old, I have taken great comfort in your essays dealing with the afflictions of age such that I no longer consider these afflictions to be a presage of death but rather a normal diminishment that those of us fortunate enough to reach eighty all share. The essays reminded of a poem I wrote as a young man, which, now that I have reached the poem’s fourth stanza, has new poignancy:

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

AGE’S FOUR SEASONS

Wake up! Wake up! and play with me;
A bright new day is born.
We’ll run through the meadow, bright with dew
All on a sweet spring’s morn.

Come dance to the music of the wind
With flowers your hair adorn;
Then lie in my arms on a bed of soft grass
All on a summer’s morn.

Let’s stroll where the sage blossoms perfume the air
To a bench that is old and well worn
Looking seaward through cypress to white sand below
All on an autumn’s morn.

Cold rain swept in from the north last night
Grey skies, grey hills forlorn
Come take my hand, don’t go just yet.
All on a winter’s morn.

Best,

Thos

A fine poem, my friend, and thanks for sending it along. GK

Dear Garrison,

I recently watched a video of a PHC show from 1987. One of the performances I really enjoyed was “Songs of Parting” by Vern Sutton and you. The lyrics were sung to Handel’s “Water Music,” which was played by a small string ensemble directed by Philip Brunelle. Any chance you reprise that performance at your upcoming St. Paul shows?

Frank Hudziak

I make a point of not looking back, Frank, because there’s so much of the past to see and some of it is rather disheartening. But I’ll have Helen Edinger our music librarian, archivist, and resident critic look around for “Songs of Parting” and tell me what she thinks. GK

Dear Garrison,

I went to my local bank today to make a deposit and the regular teller was training a new teller. She wore a low-cut, skin-tight top that exposed her midriff and navel. She also had a prominent nose ring.

I am 72. I understand that times have changed from the Fifties, when I wore a dress to school and my brother wore slacks with a belt and tucked-in button-down shirt and shoes that were not sneakers. We dressed up for church and wore hats; my mother and I wore white gloves. I like this. It seemed respectful. The last time I went to church, there were people there who were wearing what I would think appropriate to clean one’s garage, or shorts and flip-flops. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they were there, whatever they were wearing. I’m sure the Lord did not mind.

I understand that times have changed. But the bank teller bothered me. What happened to looking professional? Does this change in dress culture bother you?

P.S. I love your books, articles, everything you write!! God bless you for bringing us joy.

Kind regards,

Suzanne Perreault

Ithaca, New York

I don’t wear white gloves to church, Suzanne, but I do wear a suit and white shirt and a tie. I see grown men there in shorts and sandals and, like you, I’m glad they came and I’m also glad that they wore a shirt. And I’m glad they’re not carrying a boombox or talking on cellphones in church or watching videos. As for the bank teller, I have no comment, not wanting to be accused of sexism or elitism or both, but I think this may have something to do with Ithaca being a college town. Young people have always fiddled around with fashion statements — back in my early 20s I liked wearing a leather vest with fringe and a shirt with pearl buttons and jeans and leather boots, sort of a frontiersman look. Sometimes I wore a big white straw hat. I wore something like that when I started PHC but soon switched to a suit and tie, not because it was formal but because it was neutral. I did however wear red sneakers and I still do, as a signal that I am doing comedy. I have, however, never exposed my midriff and navel. GK

I would like to know what you are thinking about the moral requirements for executive office and why the bar is lower than a reading volunteer in first grade who needs background clearance and can’t be a convicted felon.

Linda Weyerts

The Constitution only sets a minimal standard for the presidency. It doesn’t require honesty, for example, or fidelity, or even intelligence. It leaves these matters for the voters to decide. GK

I’m dulling at 81, but it would appear the comments format has changed to a one-way conversation rather than a chat room where participants are free to cast aspersions and wrestle in the mud pit. Now we basically send emails into your office where they can be reviewed by your team of Lutheran Schoolmarms before anything gets printed.

It is no surprise in reading the repartee of the last few sessions that your audience is a mélange of folk across all extremes, the bolder of whom are more than willing to engage in ever-escalating mudslinging. That can be a lot of fun, but it became hurtful at times, even getting your Scots up … and it’s your sandbox after all! So it’s understandable that you had to cancel a few in the interest of civility.

I think all of us Keillorites should just be happy with something more on the order of a Unitarian-Universalist meeting, where specific points of view are kept under wraps while enjoying the vibe of folks coming together singing praises to _________ (fill in the blank).

I would love nothing more than the opposite venue where folks of all stripes, from Amish to Satan’s Slaves can joust to their hearts’ content … but we seem to be fast approaching some sort of civil war well beyond the age of Aquarius. I watched Ted Koppel brave a cold morning’s gathering of Trumpers yesterday, and many of the men of our age group were making it clear that Trump would be installed in spite of any crooked steal attempt by the Deep State in November. So I plan to buy a new car in one of the new camo colors, install a gun mount and be a senior participant. My wife, Angie, will pack the family .38 PO-lice special. I have ordered several automatic weapons to keep the lead flying. It will be a diesel SUV, since the Proud Boys will be taking out the charging stations in the early days of the conflict.

I am sad for my children and grandchildren.

Relaxin Rog

Not sure where you’re going with this, sir, or if you’re in favor of editing or not, so I’ve printed your letter without changing anything. Mostly, the editing we do is to shorten long-winded posts to make it easier for readers to read them. We edit out a good deal of lavish praise. We cut letters that ask what is the meaning of life, or things of that sort. But thanks for writing. GK

Dear Garrison,

From your posts, one might assume you spend your typical days strolling Manhattan — meandering Central Park, burrowed down in the public library, or enjoying a sausage in Bryant Park — but your schedule of performances and your literary output (from email posts to new books) suggests you’re actually working a hectic schedule! How do you get such energy? Or do you have a large staff that picks up all the details and takes care of the drudgery?

Sincerely,
Mary E. Barton, Ph.D.

I have a producer and a manager who run the shop for me but I do the writing and I do the shows. GK

We’re keenly aware of your continuing irrational swipes at Trump — never any argument provided. Now list three policies or decisions of Biden you admire as an apparently committed Democrat.

Louise M. Murray

Support for Ukraine against Russian aggression. Support for NATO, an alliance of democracies against authoritarian states. And his leadership in making it possible for the ten or twelve million undocumented migrants in this country, many of whom have been here for many years and are employed and a vital part of the economy, to gain citizenship. I also appreciate President Biden’s statesmanlike thinking and demeanor. I expect a president to be a dignified figure. Old-fashioned of me, but I’m an old man. GK

Do you plan your program for Dublin, London, and Edinburgh audiences any differently? If so in what ways?

Mark Larson

Arcata California

Haven’t thought about those shows, which are solo shows, but I’m looking forward to them. GK

Dear Old Scout,

In 1978–79, my not then yet but sadly now late wife were St. Cloud State University students, and we listened to The Prairie Home Morning Show’s opening song; a Mills Brothers tune that began with their scat version of the Reveille bugle call, and proceeded with what I recall was a single repeated phrase: “get up” “Get up get up get up get up” … which we dutifully, did and had our morning coffee. What was the name of that song?

Scott

“Bugle Call Rag.” GK

Hi, Garrison Keillor.

I have lived in NYC since 1951 and it’s my understanding that you moved here several years ago. Since you seem to get around, I am surprised that I have not run into you. Over the decades I have seen you (PHC) in St. Paul and here at Town Hall but not in an informal setting, like the subway or a bus stop. Care to try to explain this?

As an aside, I am impressed by your travel/performance schedule too. I find it daunting.

Every good wish.

I travel by subway, sometimes afoot, and I don’t roam widely around town, as a younger person would. I travel in limited circuits, usually for a simple purpose. I walk slowly, keeping my eyes on the pavement. I avoid crowds as much as possible. But if you wear a big badge that says “Me” I’ll try to watch out for you. GK

Years ago, I read Homegrown Democrat, and I’m paraphrasing completely by memory, you wrote that our faith is less confident than in the past. That many church attenders go to church to belong, to be around people, tradition, and other reasons, but deep down perhaps don’t believe. They’ve tried to believe, but the “faith is not in them,” or something to that effect.

I was greatly disturbed by that statement, not because I thought you were wrong, but because I feared you might be right. Assuming that I have paraphrased somewhat accurately, do you still believe this to be the case?

Clark Shultz

Lindsborg, Kansas

I don’t speculate in those terms anymore, sir. I attend church whenever I’m in town and sometimes on the road, and I accept the people around me as fellow believers. The moment when we go forward to receive the sacraments is a very tender soulful moment when we are united to the entire body of Christian believers and when I take the elements, I feel my life somehow realign itself. That’s what I go to church for, the forgiveness and the course correction. GK

Garrison,

I realize that you have done so at several stages of your career already, as it has had so many transitions — but are you working on a single summation work to be published after your death, which encapsulates your entire philosophy, perspective and as a container for the most important lessons that you would have others know? You could always give such a speech second hand, letting the minister of the Lake Wobegon Lutheran church go out with a final, fiery sermon and have it discussed by the knitting circle after the fact.

You have given us your heart for so many years, thank you.

Dominic Ebacher

I’m not capable of any sort of grand summation, Dominic. I live day to day, most of it by improvisation. I’m not a philosopher; I’m more like a philodendron. GK

Hi, Garrison.

I’m curious. Are you optimistic about the future of the U.S. or pessimistic? Does it feel like we have peaked or is that just me feeling like I have peaked because of middle age? But the reason I ask is because I think you might be able to put this particular time in America in context based on what you’ve experienced (which is more than me). So how does it feel to you? Good? Bad? Or same same?

Thanks,

Janelle

When I’m around people my age, I feel pessimistic, but around young people, I’m very hopeful. GK

How did you and Vern Sutton become acquainted? And do you still stay in touch? Vern and I were at Austin College together many moons ago and I had the pleasure of dancing and singing in some of his musicals.

Fredericka Richter DeBerry
Brenham, Texas

I knew Vern when I was a student at the University of Minnesota. He was the most lighthearted person in the Music Department, and when I started PHC in 1974, he and Janis Hardy were the first two singers I called on who could improvise freely and easily in classical styles — I could write a text — a shopping list, directions for changing a carburetor, principles of English grammar — and they could make it sound like Handel, or Puccini, or Richard Rodgers, or you name it. They were amazing, and Philip Brunelle did the same as their accompanist. So there was no need for an arranger, it was instant parody. I haven’t kept in touch with Vern but I hear from Janis that he’s doing well. GK

Dear GK,

I’m taking Mexico’s election of a female Jewish climatologist as its new President as a major note for cheerfulness, however brief it turns out to be. There can be no delusions about the many grave crises still gripping that large nation, but I’ve got to read more on how the voters were able to take this great leap forward amidst a chaotic society. We have our own sets of chaos in a far wealthier nation with a healthy economy, but we seem unable to even get back to where we were nine years ago, let alone leaping forward.

Are you finding it harder to maintain our stoicism — not worrying over things we can’t directly control — or am I imagining it? I’m glad your recent night in the ER had a happy ending, and that future testing turns out well. I grew up right across the Hudson from Manhattan. It gives me pleasure that you find so much of NYC life enjoyable, Garrison.

Regards,

Don Paul

It’s a great country, Mr. Paul. I’m reminded of that every day. Today I read an interview with Rep. Jim Clyburn (D.-S.C.), a co-chair of the Biden campaign, saying he’s a good friend of Senator Lindsey Graham (R.-S.C.) and Senator Tim Scott (R.-S.C.) and I believe he means it. Congressman Clyburn is a straight-shooter and he says what he believes and doesn’t trim his sails to comply with current trends. I’m inspired by young people with big ambitions. I like the wave of bright young comics in our country these days. I am amazed at how lucky I’ve been. I am enjoying old age (knock on wood) and hope to continue. I am quite okay with being a back issue and a has-been. My career, as such, ended some time ago. But I still go do shows, which is one thing I can control. I accept whatever audience I get and I want to give them a good time, maybe even a great time. GK

Dear Mr. Keillor,

I am in my 66th year, and I would appreciate your advice on how to best prepare for my 70s and beyond.

What should I pay attention to now that I’ll appreciate later? What are the gifts of these later decades?

Thank you,

Dave Wondra

Take time to examine your life closely and cut out what you can see is harmful or wasteful or gives you no pleasure and thereby make room for what you need and enjoy. I was 59 when I quit drinking and it made a big difference. I gave up watching TV before that, quit smoking, and otherwise tried to clean house. It’s a good time to attack clutter of all sorts. Also a good time to pay attention to friendship. Devote time to people you care about; friendship becomes more and more important in old age. Open yourself up to people you trust — get beyond the small talk and show them your heart. GK

Dear Mr. Keillor,

You once mentioned that (I’ll paraphrase) even though Jeff Bezos doesn’t need the money, I like the ease of ordering a book from his company.

Any independent bookstore owner or librarian who read those comments cringed. Independent booksellers/librarians know what you’re seeking and, in the case of independent booksellers, can and do often outperform Mr. Bezos’s company. Librarians, same thing.

How about a heartfelt plug for these rock-solid institutions who, it must be said, suffer directly from Mr. Bezos’s company.

Geoff Godfrey

I owned a bookstore in St. Paul for a few years and I enjoyed it but I started to lose interest in pushing books I thought people should read and in this competitive world, Amazon was kicking the crap out of us. And out of a lot of other retailers too. The big department stores that my mother loved are vanishing, especially in the smaller cities. I see downtowns here and there that are becoming ghost towns. I admire independent entrepreneurs who want to take a stand but I fear for them too. If I walk by a bookstore, I usually walk in and check out what they’re offering and maybe buy something, but when I have a sudden strong craving — such as a few weeks ago when I wanted to read everything Meghan O’Gieblyn has written — I go to Amazon and it takes two minutes, max. I’m 81. Life is short. It’d take me an hour to walk over to a bookstore and order it and then I’d have to go back in a week and pick it up. I’m lazy. Shoot if you must this old gray head but wait until her books I’ve read. GK

Hi, Garrison.

I wonder why you haven’t returned to Tanglewood in Lenox, MA, and if you will anytime soon? I would love to see you! I grew up listening to A Prairie Home Companion on the radio each weekend, and now that I am due with my first child soon, I’m reminded of how much I wish she could have a similar experience … if only at an occasional live performance and through listening to the archived radio shows.

Thank you!

Hannah

We’ve approached Tanglewood, which I loved playing, and they’re simply not interested. So be it. Things change. I wish them well. GK

Hi, Garrison.

PLEASE stop with all the comments about Trump in your writing. We understand you do not like him … you made this clear a THOUSAND posts ago. But we love you just BECAUSE you do not get involved in the day-to-day drudgery of politics and world affairs. There has been no joy in reading you anymore and it is only getting worse with each passing day. It appears pretty soon you are going to join the ranks of Fox, MSNBC, and CNN and just spew politic garbage all day long.

Please wake up and get back to your roots of why people love you. STOP with the politic commentary or you will lose your loyal listeners.

Thanks for listening to an old friend,

TB in Vista, California

You’re probably right and I’m on a downward path and on my way to ruination but I am an old man, I write about what interests me, and now in responding to your note, I am doing the very thing you tell me not to do. I’m sorry you don’t enjoy reading the column anymore but the way to solve that problem is to stop. GK

Sir,

I’ve had enough of your “old” song and dance about being old. I am 83
and reasonably functional, but don’t call attention to my age the way you do so frequently — ad infinitum. It just gets old!

Be well!
Hazel Hunley
Belton, Missouri

As we say in Minnesota, “Okay then.” GK

Dear Garrison,

If one wanted to include in a road trip through Minnesota a visit to the closest real life analogue to Lake Wobegon, what town or towns would one visit?

Thanks for all the stories and memories through the years,

Aaron in San Antonio

I suggest you head up I-94 to Avon and take a walk or ride a bike along the Lake Wobegon Trail. Freeport, Avon, Melrose, Sauk Centre are all on it, and you’d meet some fine people there, especially if you stop in Charlie’s Café in Freeport or Fischer’s in Avon. You might even find rhubarb pie. GK

I notice you are constantly on the go, and you keep publishing more books. I wish you would narrow your activities and spend your time writing your autobiography. Now that I’m 88, I’m beginning my own autobiography. So far, I’m up to my seventh grade in school. It’s amazing how, by trolling the internet, it is possible to find photos of old schools and prior residences and schools. So far, three out of four of the schools I attended have been demolished, and the fourth is now made into an apartment building. Certainly puts things into perspective.

If you’d write yours, we’d read.

Betty Walters

I did it. It’s done. THAT TIME OF YEAR. Good luck finishing yours. GK

Dear Mr. Keillor,

Today’s column — or rather, by the date, yesterday’s though it arrived early this morning — mentions the Law of Jante, which I had never heard of before. Prof. Google informs me of the definition, and I am stunned to realize my Ohio-born maternal grandmother explicitly taught me this law. This despite the fact that there’s not a drop of Scandinavian blood in our genetic line. It marked me for life, in any case. Some of us might have done better with the kind of boost to the ego that would inspire rather than inhibit. Oh well, at 73, I’m pretty much a baked cake, if you dig.

Thanks for enlightening the masses in so many ways!

Vicki in Seattle

Du skal ikke tro at du er noget. You shouldn’t think that you are something special. I live by that law and so do most people I know — we’re uncomfortable with praise and mock ourselves, but the Danish satirist Aksel Sandemose saw it as a form of arrogance, which I don’t. I guess I don’t see it as harmful but if I had a child who showed a true gift I would want that child to take the gift seriously and work to bring it to fruition. GK

Dearest Garrison,

I was an Army brat, living in Georgia, North Carolina, Louisiana, Idaho, and Alaska. When I finished 8th grade, my father retired and we moved to North Pole, Alaska, to finally put down roots. I grew up and began a career in the airline industry, seeing the world for free. I met a dashing young Alaska State Trooper who convinced me to marry him and that resulted in the production of two fine sons. We lived in Fairbanks, and then in Utqiaġvik (at the top of the world). Life and careers took us to West Palm Beach, Florida, and then Nashville, Tennessee, where we loved seeing you at the Ryman. We stayed in Nashville for nearly two decades, until we became grandparents. We’ve now retired and moved to Maryland’s Eastern Shore (you came to Talbot!) to be closer to our one and only grandchild. I don’t like it here. I’m almost 61 years old and I’ve never really had a hometown, but I have a great longing to belong somewhere. I left behind the dearest friends of my life in Nashville, but I was never a southerner, so I didn’t quite fit. I’m used to starting over, and I’m trying so hard in our new town. I’m making friends, I’m even back at work as a librarian where I’m involved in community outreach and other programs. My question is, since you appear to have lived happily in a variety of places, what’s the trick to contentment no matter where one lands? I’m not unhappy, but I am terribly homesick for a place I’ve never been. Perhaps that’s because I’ve never been able to choose the places I’ve had to nest. I’m an expert at blooming where I’m planted, but this time seems harder. Please fertilize me with your wisdom.

For years, no matter where we were, the opening notes of “Tishomingo Blues” on Saturday afternoon made me feel at home, from the edge of the Arctic Ocean to the deep south. You will always have my heartfelt gratitude for that.

Warmly,
Nancy Pullen

I’m in the same situation, my dear. I’m a foreigner in New York, same as I was when I lived in Copenhagen — I loved St. Paul but never really settled down there, being on the road half the time — but I was lucky to have many cousins, some of whom became good friends, and I worked with musicians and colleagues whom I became close to, so it’s a work of improvisation and still in progress. I’ve found the telephone to be a fine medium for friendship: you dial the number and do the how-are-yous and then dive into what’s on your mind or in your heart. The intimacy of it is appealing. Large social events seem more like a performance than true conversation. But those dear friends of yours in Nashville — there’s no reason to give them up. Proximity has nothing to do with friendship. I wish us both well and meanwhile I go out on a stage and into the magnetic field of an audience and some nights it’s like a family reunion. GK

Garrison,

Did your phone really cause the plane all of those difficulties or was it just a coincidence? Did you really hand your phone to the pilot? Thank you for this clarification.

Mark Scott,

Denton, Texas

Fiction, sir. I was indulging in a tall tale. Sorry to cause you concern. GK

Hello,

Would an author want to know about a typo in one of his more recent books or prefer to be blissfully ignorant of the error?

Just asking.

Jim

Tell me. GK

Seems to me you’re describing Joe Biden and the Democratic Party. Remember Garrison, remain a good little sheep, so they won’t come for you? For a MAN seemingly so smart, sometimes you say the dumbest things!

James Zakos

As we say in Minnesota, “Okay then.” GK