Okay, in honor to my mother’s memory, here’s her favorite joke.
“The young Avon Lady was in a large apartment building making sales and, while riding in the elevator, she needed to ‘pass gas’ and the thought of the extreme embarrassment if someone were to enter made her simply unable to do so. As she rode down she thought of the new product she has picked up that very day, said to add woodsy fragrance to any room.
So she readied her pine spritzer and let loose. She then valiantly filled the elevator from her spritzer.
At that very moment the elevator stopped, and a well-dressed elderly woman got on with her. So she thought to do a little product testing and asked, “Did she like the piney fragrance?”
To which the woman rolled her eyes and said, “Smells like someone shit under a pine tree.””
This was the joke among AAUW the bridge-players, all professional woman, all with wonderfully wicked minds, and great senses of humor…not the gentle sex at all! There is nothing gentle about giving birth, really!
I tried to read that joke to my husband, but I couldn't stop laughing when I got to the punch line. It took me several minutes to calm down and finish reading it.
Interesting comment by the reader who thinks you're a misogynist. It too recently occurred to me that all too many men have their noses in the reproductive issues of women. Since no man is likely to die in childbirth, its related decisions she be made primarily by a consensus of women.
Who else in the US, beside you, Garrison, is calming us, teaching and humoring us, and singing to us? Even though we have to wade through Trump, inflation, climate devastation, and general malfunction, your truth and humor make the journey bearable. Thanks for all the gifts.
I'm surprised that what someone takes from Garrison Keillor's body of work is that his gut hasn't yet informed his brain that he is a member of a political party that has wholeheartedly embraced lying, conspiracy theories, voter suppression, election denialism, fascistic authoritarianism, political violence and shameless behavior in general. Someone has poor reading comprehension, although many would understandably hesitate to admit to being of like mind with Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, QAnon, Fox "News," Rudy Giuliani, George Santos, Ken Paxton, Clarence Thomas and, of course, cult leader trump himself. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/02/15/us/kinzinger-family-letter.html
None at all, even though today's MAGA Republicans love to say that theirs is the party of Lincoln. I hope the GOP recovers its integrity and respect for the law so that we won't have to wonder if our democracy will survive should Republicans ever do well enough at the polls.
I love that you let us watch shows of past years. I especially love the jokes and other humor. But there was once instance that I am still laughing at, because I think it is the funniest thing I have heard you done and it wasn't a really a joke. You were talking about there being no news from Lake Wobegon. You took that long pause, then said, "Well, that was embarrassing. A lessor man would simply make something up." Perhaps I didn't get the exact words, but the audience howled, as did I.
In our old Latin Mass we responded, “Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.” In this context “maxima” means “my most grievous” fault. I don’t know where the maxima comes from, but as we reflect on it, I guess there is. Israelis killing their own kind while a white towel was waving. That’s “maxima.” What we could use is maxima prayers for ourselves and each others. There’s the gift, and I quote you from years ago, “More we do not need.” Indeed! It’s a gift to be given “maxima”.
In my life, there have been only two movies that I have watched alone in an entire movie theater. A Prairie Home Companion and Woody Allen’s Manhattan. Though I like the early Woody Allen movies, PHC was far better than Manhattan. I enjoyed it immensely. The entire cast seemed to have a great time. I just couldn’t find anyone else who wanted to see it! Heck, make a sequel!!
Interesting comment by the reader who thinks you're a misogynist. Too recently it occurred to me that mostly men have their noses in the reproductive issues of women. Since no man is likely to die in childbirth, its related decisions should be made primarily by women.
Garrison, I used to look forward to A Prairie Home Companion every Sunday in our little cabin in the Alaska wilderness, 30 years ago. We had no electricity there, so we tuned in on a radio that took 6 DD batteries (expensive!), but oh! What a treat. Thanks for still being there today.
Do termites jump or is that grasshoppers? Whartever? Be aware that bars are never tender anywhere, except the barkeep's towel. It reeks of water and beer. Regardless, I have never heard of termites causing the bar to collapse. But we have heard of those at the bar who do.
I am hoping to permanently put this issue to rest: the Lake Shore Limited passes 200 feet away from the shore of Lake Michigan in Hammond, Indiana (HMI). West of Sandusky, OH (SKY), the train runs over a causeway across Sandusky Bay, with Lake Erie visible out the north-side windows. The train runs along the Lake Erie shore west of Cleveland, OH (CLE) in the Edgewater Park neighborhood, 400 feet from the beach, and 600 feet at Wendy Park. In Dunkirk, NY (DUK) the railroad is two blocks from the shore. East of there, in Silver Creek, the train is 85 feet from the shore, separated by a line of trees. In Rochester, NY (ROC) the closest the railroad gets to Lake Ontario is around 5.25 miles. East of there, the railroad and its former competitors play tag with the Erie Canal, its current iteration as well as the original and enlarged alignments. Entering Syracuse, NY (SYR), Onondaga Lake is right next to the railroad. East of Utica, NY the railroad crosses the Mohawk River and the Barge Canal (current alignment) numerous times, as the Mohawk and Canal join, separate, re-join and eventually run concurrently all the way to Waterford. The last time the railroad crosses the Mohawk is entering Schenectady, NY (SDY). Then, crossing between Albany and Rensselaer, NY the tracks cross the Hudson River, which it parallels all the way to Manhattan.
Okay, in honor to my mother’s memory, here’s her favorite joke.
“The young Avon Lady was in a large apartment building making sales and, while riding in the elevator, she needed to ‘pass gas’ and the thought of the extreme embarrassment if someone were to enter made her simply unable to do so. As she rode down she thought of the new product she has picked up that very day, said to add woodsy fragrance to any room.
So she readied her pine spritzer and let loose. She then valiantly filled the elevator from her spritzer.
At that very moment the elevator stopped, and a well-dressed elderly woman got on with her. So she thought to do a little product testing and asked, “Did she like the piney fragrance?”
To which the woman rolled her eyes and said, “Smells like someone shit under a pine tree.””
This was the joke among AAUW the bridge-players, all professional woman, all with wonderfully wicked minds, and great senses of humor…not the gentle sex at all! There is nothing gentle about giving birth, really!
This is great!
I tried to read that joke to my husband, but I couldn't stop laughing when I got to the punch line. It took me several minutes to calm down and finish reading it.
Interesting comment by the reader who thinks you're a misogynist. It too recently occurred to me that all too many men have their noses in the reproductive issues of women. Since no man is likely to die in childbirth, its related decisions she be made primarily by a consensus of women.
Who else in the US, beside you, Garrison, is calming us, teaching and humoring us, and singing to us? Even though we have to wade through Trump, inflation, climate devastation, and general malfunction, your truth and humor make the journey bearable. Thanks for all the gifts.
DJT is a Republican like RFK Jr is a Democrat.
I'm surprised that what someone takes from Garrison Keillor's body of work is that his gut hasn't yet informed his brain that he is a member of a political party that has wholeheartedly embraced lying, conspiracy theories, voter suppression, election denialism, fascistic authoritarianism, political violence and shameless behavior in general. Someone has poor reading comprehension, although many would understandably hesitate to admit to being of like mind with Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, QAnon, Fox "News," Rudy Giuliani, George Santos, Ken Paxton, Clarence Thomas and, of course, cult leader trump himself. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/02/15/us/kinzinger-family-letter.html
I've admitted that I'm an 1893 Republican like my great-grandfather James Wesley Powell. No resemblance to the crowd you name.
None at all, even though today's MAGA Republicans love to say that theirs is the party of Lincoln. I hope the GOP recovers its integrity and respect for the law so that we won't have to wonder if our democracy will survive should Republicans ever do well enough at the polls.
I love that you let us watch shows of past years. I especially love the jokes and other humor. But there was once instance that I am still laughing at, because I think it is the funniest thing I have heard you done and it wasn't a really a joke. You were talking about there being no news from Lake Wobegon. You took that long pause, then said, "Well, that was embarrassing. A lessor man would simply make something up." Perhaps I didn't get the exact words, but the audience howled, as did I.
Garrison, you are one of a kind.
In our old Latin Mass we responded, “Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.” In this context “maxima” means “my most grievous” fault. I don’t know where the maxima comes from, but as we reflect on it, I guess there is. Israelis killing their own kind while a white towel was waving. That’s “maxima.” What we could use is maxima prayers for ourselves and each others. There’s the gift, and I quote you from years ago, “More we do not need.” Indeed! It’s a gift to be given “maxima”.
Dear GK,
In my life, there have been only two movies that I have watched alone in an entire movie theater. A Prairie Home Companion and Woody Allen’s Manhattan. Though I like the early Woody Allen movies, PHC was far better than Manhattan. I enjoyed it immensely. The entire cast seemed to have a great time. I just couldn’t find anyone else who wanted to see it! Heck, make a sequel!!
Eric Weill, Hattiesburg Mississippi
Wes Gordon
Interesting comment by the reader who thinks you're a misogynist. Too recently it occurred to me that mostly men have their noses in the reproductive issues of women. Since no man is likely to die in childbirth, its related decisions should be made primarily by women.
Garrison, I used to look forward to A Prairie Home Companion every Sunday in our little cabin in the Alaska wilderness, 30 years ago. We had no electricity there, so we tuned in on a radio that took 6 DD batteries (expensive!), but oh! What a treat. Thanks for still being there today.
Garrison -
I saved you the time -
Sonnet 116
William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Do termites jump or is that grasshoppers? Whartever? Be aware that bars are never tender anywhere, except the barkeep's towel. It reeks of water and beer. Regardless, I have never heard of termites causing the bar to collapse. But we have heard of those at the bar who do.
I am hoping to permanently put this issue to rest: the Lake Shore Limited passes 200 feet away from the shore of Lake Michigan in Hammond, Indiana (HMI). West of Sandusky, OH (SKY), the train runs over a causeway across Sandusky Bay, with Lake Erie visible out the north-side windows. The train runs along the Lake Erie shore west of Cleveland, OH (CLE) in the Edgewater Park neighborhood, 400 feet from the beach, and 600 feet at Wendy Park. In Dunkirk, NY (DUK) the railroad is two blocks from the shore. East of there, in Silver Creek, the train is 85 feet from the shore, separated by a line of trees. In Rochester, NY (ROC) the closest the railroad gets to Lake Ontario is around 5.25 miles. East of there, the railroad and its former competitors play tag with the Erie Canal, its current iteration as well as the original and enlarged alignments. Entering Syracuse, NY (SYR), Onondaga Lake is right next to the railroad. East of Utica, NY the railroad crosses the Mohawk River and the Barge Canal (current alignment) numerous times, as the Mohawk and Canal join, separate, re-join and eventually run concurrently all the way to Waterford. The last time the railroad crosses the Mohawk is entering Schenectady, NY (SDY). Then, crossing between Albany and Rensselaer, NY the tracks cross the Hudson River, which it parallels all the way to Manhattan.