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Jim Hammond's avatar

My Uncle Al told me a version of the dress in the crack joke more than 60 years ago. It’s still funny.

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ronetc's avatar

Probably the one that ended, "so I stuffed it back in, and that's when I got the second black eye."

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John Crowe's avatar

I can’t feel sorry for the mighty NYT; indeed, I’m disgusted with them for their incessant sane washing of the moron. What did they say about his comments on Arnie’s equipment? “Trump commented on a local hero, Arnold Palmer”. If the NYT had been calling Trump out for his many lies over the past decade we might not be in the fix we’re in now. They let him get away with it, and of course he still gets away with all his sins.

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Tricia W Evans's avatar

Even as he mocked and taunted the "failing New York Times" they apparently took heed and yes, explained away his ridiculous and frightening rants and actions.

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PoppiRowe's avatar

We shall prosper and enjoy ourselves…it is what winners get to do.

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Emily Elliot's avatar

To what do you most look forward?

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Joan Eisenstodt's avatar

Is this only to Mr Keillor or all of us? In case all: seeing “A Funny Thing Happened…” at the theatre to laugh, mouth (not sing) along behind my mask, and no doubt wet my pants from laughing! To Kamala’s graciousness in certifying the votes on 1/6. To 1/10 and 1/23 when I hope the militias have left DC. Really to all the horrible pronouncements on MLK Day - Inauguration - that will harm so many and I just want, like a biopsy surgery, it over so we know.

I look forward to my work because it distracts me. I “look forward” to see how many GOP/MAGA Senators will live up to their oath or obey the “naked emperor” & his jumping sidekick or aproned Veep.

Most of all the Midterms & hope.

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PoppiRowe's avatar

Safety and security for American citizens…priority for American citizens…the death of wokeness…energy independence…peace and prosperity…

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Jim Howerton's avatar

Yawn

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Stacey Weinberger's avatar

It's not a football game.

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Paul Hyde's avatar

Some say the mainstream media are dead. I say Trump’s win will give a big boost to the media. I’m going to be glued to my NY Times, Guardian, NPR and cable TV over the next four years.

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Joan Eisenstodt's avatar

You have greater strength than I. Print or digital without sound. Only.

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Joan Eisenstodt's avatar

It’s been a difficult 10 days - well more if we start on 11/6 but for now, just the personal. And you’ve topped it off beautifully by helping me laugh (guffaw? Does that sound different than a laugh with a snort and tears?) with the perfect images on which to rest my head and haunt my dreams. Your marvelous substack read after learning two friends - one of 50 years, an actor met when he was part of the company of Trotwood Circle Theatre near Dayton, Ohio, the other of about 20 years who retired from my industry (meetings/hospitality) - met at Thanksgiving dinner in New Mexico. Joy comes in many forms that is not the upcoming Administration. Thank you.

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LisaKeller146@gmail.com's avatar

Hi Joan,

What happened with your two friends?

I am another Garrison lover in the Dayton ,Ohio region

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Joan Eisenstodt's avatar

Ah! One (the actor)!ran for NM House and was defeated by hate; the other who’s lived in NM for years met at Thanksgiving making a lovely circle of life! Give my love to Dayton. It gave me good grounding in public schools, YTeens, and civil rights & theatre - all I carried with me when I left 47 years ago. Thanks, LisaKeller.

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Jean-Pierre Garau's avatar

🎭

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Annie Cross's avatar

Full of the goodness of turkey sandwiches and cranberries, my brains are a bit slower than is ideal and so I may have read too hastily, but I think you left out one of the crazier of the crazies in the nominee line-up: Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. A heroin addict, and other drugs addict, a serial philanderer and cruel "husband" to an ex-wife, a woman known to have been despairing and suicidal only to be met with his cruelty before her death; Junior, a bizarre speaker about anything and everything, but an outright danger when it comes to vaccines and health matters, about which he knows NOTHING - and his former assistants say he cannot manage anything. Another stellar choice of "the best people" by The Orange Who Would Be King, he who "be best" in his own mind. Maybe we can hope that brain worm is a migrating thing and will find its way under that mass of strange hair that looks like an escapee from a pot-scrubber box to bore its way into that orange jello-mold of a brain. However, the downside, among nothing but downsides, is that Vance is next up at bat and apparently ever-present among all of those Florida swamp-creatures is Mr. Musk with his signature musky smell and attempts to spread glue on his own hip and Don's hip so they can become, you know, joined at the joint, all the better to destroy America, or as it's now known, Erstwhile America.

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Barbara Shaidnagle's avatar

I am just praying for help everyday to get through the next four years. Interestingly enough, the readings at church are from Revelation and describe the last days. And I say come Lord Jesus come! And He will when it is time...

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LisaKeller146@gmail.com's avatar

So many Trumpers got their way. I watch him doing stupid shit and think, Are you happy now? Yes they are happy. Hope they are sick to death by the time he is ended.

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John C Van Nuys's avatar

Again, Garrison, you miss the mark. Yes, Trump is ascendant, but, no, there very much ARE things we can to resist, protest, and oppose him. Yes, kindness is key -- especially for our LGBTQIA+ friends, who are rightly fearful. Other actions include supporting journalism; donating to groups that fight for justice and inclusion; and not being morally complacent. I have a trans-kid -- and many of us are not going to go quietly into the night as losers content with stoicism as our moral pacifier. You, who lived through the 1960s, should know that when many people take "small" steps together big things happen.. If you have forgotten that, there are legions of us who will help you remember over the next four years.

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

I wish you well but an enormous bulk of the electorate has chosen to ignore reality and I'm afraid they need a major shock to bring them back. A smallpox epidemic or a depression or the advance of Russia into Scandinavia. We have an angry illiterate coming to power. The Founders tried to defend againstt this and we shall see how well they planned.

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Johanna Walker's avatar

An enormous bulk of the electorate, perhaps. But me and @John C Van Nuys? notsomuch

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Diet Pepsi's avatar

It still keeps making me want to cry for all the reasons you say, Mr. Keillor. They've dealt a real blow to our nation and I fear much for the Ukrainian people. But so it is.

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Joy Jennings's avatar

Thank you Mr Keillor. Your columns and sound bytes enable me to hold onto what shred of sanity I have left. Consider yourself a major assist in escorting me through the next four years of crazy.

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Heidi Emanuel's avatar

We are witnessing what happens when an electorate looks to the likes of a Joe Rogan or Steve Bannon as some kind of voice of reason. There are no reliable filters in place to screen out the nonsense they spew. People choose to believe what they want to believe to make their worlds work for them. Ignorance and fear reelected Donald Trump. His administration will be defined by his incompetence and the grifting of those he surrounds himself with. These are not people of substance. To find Trump and his minions acceptable is morally reprehensible. To believe he has our country’s best interest at heart is naive and dangerous.

What lies ahead remains to be seen-this is my country, too. And yours. Complacency is not an option. I am going to look and lean on those whose argument is discerning and reliable. That includes your column, Garrison. A sense of humor is not only necessary but might be a life line as we try to navigate the crazy that lies ahead.

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Frank Canzolino's avatar

You, too, can blow through a billion dollars to lose…

“You have the same power that you did before November 5.”

- Kamala Harris last week.

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Johanna Walker's avatar

I don’t appreciate your dig against soccer moms. They may not be the best pick to coach the Yankees, but to compare them to Dump’s cabinet picks is an insult beyond repair.

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Patty's avatar

Yes, that took me aback.🫤

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Liz's avatar

"An insult beyond repair!?" :-)

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Patty's avatar

"Soccer moms"? I think "tiddly wink coaches" would be a stronger dig; but thanks for your column as always!👍

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David Kannas's avatar

My thought exactly. The orange one's words over his years in office and while campaigning have been pretty much accepted as normal by the press. Even PBS has done analysis of his rantings as if they were coming from a sane person. During next four years we will be subjected to not only his rants, we will have the likes of RFK Jr. to endure. God help us.

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