Sep 22 • 9M

The News from October 3, 1981

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I always wrote the monologue on Friday evening, four or five pages, and looked at it Saturday morning, and then not again. I never read it. I never memorized it. I felt that I’d naturally remember the memorable parts...
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In Lake Wobegon, the time has come to remove the screens and put on the storm windows. The Grand Oya has made the call to the Sons of Knute members to come and start getting the lodge ready for winter. But like every other year, they partake of the amber hops liquid first and nothing gets done. During the Feast Day of St. Francis, Father Emil had to bless all types of animals and also get on a very large Percheron to lead the procession. With all his allergies, he dreads this time of year. 

Jack from Jack’s Auto Repair has been trying to start up a Golf Club but he is having a tough time getting members. Dwight, Jack’s son, plowed a small place in the field and put a tin can in a hole and got a handful of folks to come out and give it a try. The $500 fee is just too steep, so the idea has just faded away.