That was a pleasant way to begin today. Thanks for taking your time to write this piece. It is good to know that you are still out there enjoying what you do so we’ll. Try not to fall down nor get angry. It is difficult to do these days being older and putting oneself out there in the world.
Can you remember “17 Lines for Syttende Mai”? All I can recall is “The Danes ruled the Norse for 400 years, of course, til they got on the wrong side of the Napoleonic Wars....
We begin each day with a yawn and end each day with a snore. In between it is a series of interpersonal interactions with other yawning, snoring bipeds, whose days unfold in a myriad of configurations that only they are privy to. Why not interject some unforeseen and unexpected pleasantry into their day to throw of the impending monotony they are so accustomed to?
I was at a Dunkin Donuts recently and the girl behind the county had layers of pink in her hair. She also had something of a sullen "I'd rather be somewhere else right now, I hate my life" look about her face.
"Can I help you?" she asked with words dripping with misery.
"Yes, good morning, Medium Decaf Light and sweet." I was more cheery than she probably liked.
"Anything else?" she said with that "please die" look in her eye.
"No that's it but, not to alarm you or anything but you have something in your hair." I said, pointing with a smirk. The comment snapped her out of her gloom and her eyes widened and she began feeling her hair. She nearly seemed frantic and embarrassed.
"Where? What is it?" she said as she got a little more worried.
"Well.... it's kind of all over and it's pink. It's cute, but you might want to have that looked at." I said, coyly smiling at her. Her gloom disappeared and she smiled while letting out one of those sighs that your wife would make when you say something stupid intentionally and repeat it several times, until you get the reaction you want, which is that sigh. I smiled at her and gave her a wink.
"Your order will be ready at the next counter." she said, now smiling.
"Thank you dear, you have yourself an absolutely wonderful day." grinning knowing I made her day a bit better.
"You too sir, thank you" she smiled and asked the next customer for their order, with that same smile.
It's quite simple, there is no reason for any of us to not be nice to anyone. It takes zero effort to be pleasant, there is no cost and there is only reward. You can be a miserable prick if you want, but then each interaction spreads miserable prickness and before you know it were all surrounded by miserable pricks. We have enough miserable pricks in the world, we don't need to add more. To add to that, if you ever see a military man in a green uniform with an armband that has the big white letters "MP" on it, just know that it stands for "Military Police", though their demeanor may have you think they are the other MP.
I love your reminders about civility. I try to say, “Thanks for all you do” to all the people who keep the world going. Airport people who check my bag and take my ticket, people who bag my groceries, hand me my morning coffee, change my oil, help me find a certain sweater, cut my hair, check me me and take my vitals at Dr office, clean my teeth, and the list goes on and on.
Thanks for all you do.
BTW: I am guardian (this growing trend has many many stories) for my grandson who is junior in HS and preparing for ACT.
I am old English teacher too, and helping him to navigate the traps (their word, not mine) in the English test is frustrating.
I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm ''with' isn't 'it' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to YOU!
Thank you GK. It’s a simple choice to be cheerful, particularly in the face of difficulty. The great thing about it is that it’s contagious as well. Good stuff!
Bless you, Garrison, for your commitment to kindness and comedy. Your pic above makes me think that you would have made a wonderful Vladimir or Estragon in a 70's production of Waiting for Godot. It seems like it was possibly written specifically for Minnesota men. I'm grateful we both have been rescued from the snare of "cool".
I am amused that you write so often now about how important it is to marry well. It took you at least three marriages and (as I've heard) many flings for you to reach that fairly recent state, didn't it? Your focus on your happy marriage seems to be a cya type of thing to say to allow your fans to reassess and perhaps forget the rumors of your sexual exploits. Even though your affairs may have been consensual and even though the hysteria of the METOO movement almost destroyed your career, for one accusation without your having benefit of a jury trial, you have not been a paragon of happily married faithful husband for very long, have you?
Since you take lots of flights, I'm surprised that you don't have a Global Entry/TSA PreCheck Trusted Traveler card. If you have it and you enter the information when you buy your tickets, you can just walk right past the lines and you don't have to get scanned. It costs $100 for 5 years. You do have to get fingerprinted, though. Here is the link to the relevant web site:
(My husband, who has 4 artificial joints, once forgot to tell the person to check him manually and the metal detector went wild when he went through the archway.)
Growing up, we had rules. Look people in the eye when speaking to them, always say please and thank you, if your parents introduced you to someone you d say “Pleased to meet you”, we were not allowed to tell my sisters to shut up, it was considered a federal offense to mistreat or return a library book late, littering was out of the question and to always be kind because we all have problems, you just don’t know what problems the people you deal with have.
I am sixty-eight years old and I still adhere to what I was taught by example from the time I was old enough to understand. Except now it’s no longer a rule but a habit.
In addition, I send thank you cards instead shooting off a quick text when someone does something nice for me, and I have a perpetual calendar with birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas cards and any other important dates of people I know with cards as well. And my faith keeps me in line. If it’s not edifying, don’t say it, and always be grateful for the things I have and pray for those who are less fortunate. I’m not a rigid Christian. Why just this past Ash Wednesday I was bored to tears and ducked out before the benediction. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. My daughter and I giggled like school girls because no one noticed. But that night, she started to routinely clean her face and I told her that washing off the ashes from her forehead was irreverent.
It was my turn to make dinner and instead I spent the day on the couch scrolling through Instagram. Thank God I’m not involved with any other social media. Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, whatever those are.
I don’t always eat right or drink enough water. I don’t write my books with discipline, I just do it when the spirit moves me. And I definitely watch too many Hallmark movies, predictable and sappy as they are (don’t judge me) and I always go to bed too late and fall asleep with “The Golden Girls” on. Otherwise, I find what’s on t.v. disturbing.
And before I go to sleep I ask God to forgive me for all the sins I’ve committed that day (and there are plenty) because otherwise, Jesus died for nothing as far as I’m concerned.
But I still always look people in the eye when I speak to them, and I always say please and thank you,so I’m not quite sure if that evens the score.
I wish I could follow your lead and be consistently friendly and cheerful toward all those I meet during life’s daily encounters, like clerks in stores and TSA inspectors and representatives of major corporations and officials being official. Sadly, though, I can’t overcome my tendency to lose patience with incompetence and surliness, so I find myself reacting with vinegar instead of honey when one of these people clearly demonstrates a disrespect toward not only their job but toward me. I have tried turning the other cheek with a joke, but too often such an effort is met with total incomprehension. Maybe it’s their turn to try harder to do their jobs properly and to be polite to us.
That was a pleasant way to begin today. Thanks for taking your time to write this piece. It is good to know that you are still out there enjoying what you do so we’ll. Try not to fall down nor get angry. It is difficult to do these days being older and putting oneself out there in the world.
GK. There is a reason you are my favorite story teller. Thanks, D
What a lovely way to start the day. Thank you!
Can you remember “17 Lines for Syttende Mai”? All I can recall is “The Danes ruled the Norse for 400 years, of course, til they got on the wrong side of the Napoleonic Wars....
We begin each day with a yawn and end each day with a snore. In between it is a series of interpersonal interactions with other yawning, snoring bipeds, whose days unfold in a myriad of configurations that only they are privy to. Why not interject some unforeseen and unexpected pleasantry into their day to throw of the impending monotony they are so accustomed to?
I was at a Dunkin Donuts recently and the girl behind the county had layers of pink in her hair. She also had something of a sullen "I'd rather be somewhere else right now, I hate my life" look about her face.
"Can I help you?" she asked with words dripping with misery.
"Yes, good morning, Medium Decaf Light and sweet." I was more cheery than she probably liked.
"Anything else?" she said with that "please die" look in her eye.
"No that's it but, not to alarm you or anything but you have something in your hair." I said, pointing with a smirk. The comment snapped her out of her gloom and her eyes widened and she began feeling her hair. She nearly seemed frantic and embarrassed.
"Where? What is it?" she said as she got a little more worried.
"Well.... it's kind of all over and it's pink. It's cute, but you might want to have that looked at." I said, coyly smiling at her. Her gloom disappeared and she smiled while letting out one of those sighs that your wife would make when you say something stupid intentionally and repeat it several times, until you get the reaction you want, which is that sigh. I smiled at her and gave her a wink.
"Your order will be ready at the next counter." she said, now smiling.
"Thank you dear, you have yourself an absolutely wonderful day." grinning knowing I made her day a bit better.
"You too sir, thank you" she smiled and asked the next customer for their order, with that same smile.
It's quite simple, there is no reason for any of us to not be nice to anyone. It takes zero effort to be pleasant, there is no cost and there is only reward. You can be a miserable prick if you want, but then each interaction spreads miserable prickness and before you know it were all surrounded by miserable pricks. We have enough miserable pricks in the world, we don't need to add more. To add to that, if you ever see a military man in a green uniform with an armband that has the big white letters "MP" on it, just know that it stands for "Military Police", though their demeanor may have you think they are the other MP.
Have a kick-ass day Mr. K.
GK,
I love your reminders about civility. I try to say, “Thanks for all you do” to all the people who keep the world going. Airport people who check my bag and take my ticket, people who bag my groceries, hand me my morning coffee, change my oil, help me find a certain sweater, cut my hair, check me me and take my vitals at Dr office, clean my teeth, and the list goes on and on.
Thanks for all you do.
BTW: I am guardian (this growing trend has many many stories) for my grandson who is junior in HS and preparing for ACT.
I am old English teacher too, and helping him to navigate the traps (their word, not mine) in the English test is frustrating.
And the point is? God knows.
Best, Katy (NV)
Thank you for reminding me of the power of cheerfulness. You made my day!
I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm ''with' isn't 'it' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to YOU!
....Abraham Jebediah Simpson
Thank you GK. It’s a simple choice to be cheerful, particularly in the face of difficulty. The great thing about it is that it’s contagious as well. Good stuff!
Thanks for an important reminder!
Ah, Garrison, thanks for spreading a little cheer. Now, more than ever, it's welcome!
Bless you, Garrison, for your commitment to kindness and comedy. Your pic above makes me think that you would have made a wonderful Vladimir or Estragon in a 70's production of Waiting for Godot. It seems like it was possibly written specifically for Minnesota men. I'm grateful we both have been rescued from the snare of "cool".
I am amused that you write so often now about how important it is to marry well. It took you at least three marriages and (as I've heard) many flings for you to reach that fairly recent state, didn't it? Your focus on your happy marriage seems to be a cya type of thing to say to allow your fans to reassess and perhaps forget the rumors of your sexual exploits. Even though your affairs may have been consensual and even though the hysteria of the METOO movement almost destroyed your career, for one accusation without your having benefit of a jury trial, you have not been a paragon of happily married faithful husband for very long, have you?
Since you take lots of flights, I'm surprised that you don't have a Global Entry/TSA PreCheck Trusted Traveler card. If you have it and you enter the information when you buy your tickets, you can just walk right past the lines and you don't have to get scanned. It costs $100 for 5 years. You do have to get fingerprinted, though. Here is the link to the relevant web site:
www.TSA.gov (Transportation Security Administration)
(My husband, who has 4 artificial joints, once forgot to tell the person to check him manually and the metal detector went wild when he went through the archway.)
Growing up, we had rules. Look people in the eye when speaking to them, always say please and thank you, if your parents introduced you to someone you d say “Pleased to meet you”, we were not allowed to tell my sisters to shut up, it was considered a federal offense to mistreat or return a library book late, littering was out of the question and to always be kind because we all have problems, you just don’t know what problems the people you deal with have.
I am sixty-eight years old and I still adhere to what I was taught by example from the time I was old enough to understand. Except now it’s no longer a rule but a habit.
In addition, I send thank you cards instead shooting off a quick text when someone does something nice for me, and I have a perpetual calendar with birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas cards and any other important dates of people I know with cards as well. And my faith keeps me in line. If it’s not edifying, don’t say it, and always be grateful for the things I have and pray for those who are less fortunate. I’m not a rigid Christian. Why just this past Ash Wednesday I was bored to tears and ducked out before the benediction. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. My daughter and I giggled like school girls because no one noticed. But that night, she started to routinely clean her face and I told her that washing off the ashes from her forehead was irreverent.
It was my turn to make dinner and instead I spent the day on the couch scrolling through Instagram. Thank God I’m not involved with any other social media. Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, whatever those are.
I don’t always eat right or drink enough water. I don’t write my books with discipline, I just do it when the spirit moves me. And I definitely watch too many Hallmark movies, predictable and sappy as they are (don’t judge me) and I always go to bed too late and fall asleep with “The Golden Girls” on. Otherwise, I find what’s on t.v. disturbing.
And before I go to sleep I ask God to forgive me for all the sins I’ve committed that day (and there are plenty) because otherwise, Jesus died for nothing as far as I’m concerned.
But I still always look people in the eye when I speak to them, and I always say please and thank you,so I’m not quite sure if that evens the score.
I wish I could follow your lead and be consistently friendly and cheerful toward all those I meet during life’s daily encounters, like clerks in stores and TSA inspectors and representatives of major corporations and officials being official. Sadly, though, I can’t overcome my tendency to lose patience with incompetence and surliness, so I find myself reacting with vinegar instead of honey when one of these people clearly demonstrates a disrespect toward not only their job but toward me. I have tried turning the other cheek with a joke, but too often such an effort is met with total incomprehension. Maybe it’s their turn to try harder to do their jobs properly and to be polite to us.