Haha! Wives are right 87 percent of the time. This made me laugh. I’m always editing my husbands clothes, too. I’m working on a scene right now that is trying to get at the subtleties in a marriage that you lay out here bc often what makes a marriage tick, stutter or fail are these types of subtle moments that play out. Thanks for the chuckle!!
Works for me...Hilarious! Put all your discarded first chapters into another anthology. There are those amongst us/we'ns who will devour anything you care to foust--off.
Keeping our spouses entertained is how we get around being ridiculous and achieving acceptance. Otherwise we are a nuisance, in their way and never listen to anything they say apparently. It is my humor and my continuous practice of nonsense that prevents my wife from putting a pillow over my face while I eat my dinner.
Sit when you pee and aim will no longer be an issue. Plus it gives you the opportunity to ensure that your pants are on correctly.
Those we dearly love we dearly serve. Humor is indeed part of it, so such drawers dropping at the right moment can be the pinnacle of humor. Buster Keaton and Oliver Hardy knew precisely where and when to do all dropping, whether it was our drawers or a grand piano on the top step of the stairway.
Yes, it happened to me in Morelli's Liquor Store on St. Paul's eastside. It was a cold, icy day and we had run out of Jameson's Irish liquor and that being the only salve of our sore backs from shoveling our long driveway. It was a very cold day, so I had had my flannel pajamas on, over my briefs. The PJ's had a tie to keep them up, so all that swiveling and shoveling often lead to the ties undoing, and "Bingo!" they fell to the floor right below the Jameson's shelf. Another fan of it and I both started laughing at the same time. Laughing with others present when your pants drop generated an even louder laugh.
The world clearly needs more laughs and less political finger-pointing. Just make sure your briefs are tight, and then look long-faced like Buster Keaton would. Let the audience, large or small, laugh loudly whilst we show that humor is where and when you drop it.
As a seventy-five-year-old man, I've solved the errant pee-stream by sitting down while urinating. Frankly, I do this, not out of courtesy but out of exhaustion. Seventy-five years of peeing while standing has left me a bit weary, and sitting down gives me a chance to rest and contemplate many of life's currencies without the burden of concentrating on the delicate nuance of aiming. Perhaps this is why women often appear more thoughtful...they've used their peeing time for a moment of unfettered reflection.
Your trousers dropping to your ankles made me laugh. Our family had a close friend whom I called “Uncle Shep.” He was the most charismatic man ever, with gorgeous eyes. As he could almost instantly hypnotize anyone with his gaze, his favorite gag was the ability to drop his trousers whilst engaged in serious conversation with a woman. I saw him do it time and time again in public places like fancy restaurants. The women typically did not notice for minutes on end. So Mr Keillor, perhaps you are one of those rare charismatic individuals who can pull this off for harmless fun.
Oh Boy, GK, did you strike an “ear worm! When I lived in southern California, I’d frequently drive up the coast highway toward San Francisco. And, just after I completed my “morning date with Olga" at a Santa Barbara diner, the Coast road would open out onto the wide open Pacific! It was as if I were back in my college student union, with my ear stuck in the lounge loudspeaker as my request for Puccini’s “La Boheme” came blasting out! Well, I did have a tape of Luciano Pavarotti to sing along with in the car, despite the fact that our voices didn’t match! My favorite ear worm of the time began:
“Talor, dal mio forziere! Ruban tutti gioelli, due ladri gli occhi belli …” I’d be Rudolpho, falling in love all over again, in memory, with a pair of laughing, loving eyes! Except which pair of eyes that I fell in love with became permanently fixed, once I discovered A Prairie Home Companion and its melodious host! You're a singer worthy of the Met stage, if you ask me! Have you ever thought of doing an operatic tape? I bet, with some of your favorite distaff singers, it would be FANTASTIC! No need to drop your pants! What comes out of the lungs and the vocal cords is A # 1 SUPER-MAN!
My husband is turning 80 next week and I think he is finally realizing that I am right 90% of the time. I always acknowledge when he is right about something, but I don't mind doing it because it happens so rarely. (I am giving him your book for his birthday.)
Are you for real, Linda Moon? I've been reading Jules Verne's "Journey to the moon." It was written in 1865 or thereabouts . Believe it or not - he calculated that in order to reach the lighted side of the full moon, a space ship would have to take off from the 53 parallel - only Florida in the US reaches that far south. Consequently, Verne's his spaceship launching site was within 50 miles of Cape Canaveral! He also realized that bringing the astronauts back on land would be way, too jarring, so he had them "splash down!" in the ocean in a capsule that then floated and made their recovery very simple and safe!
Welcome to GK and Friends! This is a great site - lots of interesting commenters! How are things going with your Moon? I hope there's a lot of sunshine, and maybe a sprinkle of delightful moon dust! Here's to lots of great chats!
Yes, I'm for real. But before I reply more, let me know MORE about Garrison Keillor and Friends. Who are these people/friends? I read The Writer's Almanac regularly, so is Garrison himself involved in the ...and Friends post? I have lots of good Moon stories!
Haha! Wives are right 87 percent of the time. This made me laugh. I’m always editing my husbands clothes, too. I’m working on a scene right now that is trying to get at the subtleties in a marriage that you lay out here bc often what makes a marriage tick, stutter or fail are these types of subtle moments that play out. Thanks for the chuckle!!
Works for me...Hilarious! Put all your discarded first chapters into another anthology. There are those amongst us/we'ns who will devour anything you care to foust--off.
Keeping our spouses entertained is how we get around being ridiculous and achieving acceptance. Otherwise we are a nuisance, in their way and never listen to anything they say apparently. It is my humor and my continuous practice of nonsense that prevents my wife from putting a pillow over my face while I eat my dinner.
Sit when you pee and aim will no longer be an issue. Plus it gives you the opportunity to ensure that your pants are on correctly.
Humor! We all need it!
Thanks again to GK......always taking His day to day experiences and reminding us that Ours are entertaining as well.
Garrison, This piece is why I love reading your work. Thanks, D
Those we dearly love we dearly serve. Humor is indeed part of it, so such drawers dropping at the right moment can be the pinnacle of humor. Buster Keaton and Oliver Hardy knew precisely where and when to do all dropping, whether it was our drawers or a grand piano on the top step of the stairway.
Yes, it happened to me in Morelli's Liquor Store on St. Paul's eastside. It was a cold, icy day and we had run out of Jameson's Irish liquor and that being the only salve of our sore backs from shoveling our long driveway. It was a very cold day, so I had had my flannel pajamas on, over my briefs. The PJ's had a tie to keep them up, so all that swiveling and shoveling often lead to the ties undoing, and "Bingo!" they fell to the floor right below the Jameson's shelf. Another fan of it and I both started laughing at the same time. Laughing with others present when your pants drop generated an even louder laugh.
The world clearly needs more laughs and less political finger-pointing. Just make sure your briefs are tight, and then look long-faced like Buster Keaton would. Let the audience, large or small, laugh loudly whilst we show that humor is where and when you drop it.
As a seventy-five-year-old man, I've solved the errant pee-stream by sitting down while urinating. Frankly, I do this, not out of courtesy but out of exhaustion. Seventy-five years of peeing while standing has left me a bit weary, and sitting down gives me a chance to rest and contemplate many of life's currencies without the burden of concentrating on the delicate nuance of aiming. Perhaps this is why women often appear more thoughtful...they've used their peeing time for a moment of unfettered reflection.
.....loved the pants falling down! I'm married to a Guy with no butt! (But, don't tell him I told you, because I'm right 88% of the time!)
Thanks for a good laugh!
If people did not cheat on their spouses, there would be no opera or country music.
The thought of that is great. No matter how much I love opera and country music! Cheating is such a terrible thing to do and a major character flaw.
Your trousers dropping to your ankles made me laugh. Our family had a close friend whom I called “Uncle Shep.” He was the most charismatic man ever, with gorgeous eyes. As he could almost instantly hypnotize anyone with his gaze, his favorite gag was the ability to drop his trousers whilst engaged in serious conversation with a woman. I saw him do it time and time again in public places like fancy restaurants. The women typically did not notice for minutes on end. So Mr Keillor, perhaps you are one of those rare charismatic individuals who can pull this off for harmless fun.
Well prayers and wishes to you....
Oh Boy, GK, did you strike an “ear worm! When I lived in southern California, I’d frequently drive up the coast highway toward San Francisco. And, just after I completed my “morning date with Olga" at a Santa Barbara diner, the Coast road would open out onto the wide open Pacific! It was as if I were back in my college student union, with my ear stuck in the lounge loudspeaker as my request for Puccini’s “La Boheme” came blasting out! Well, I did have a tape of Luciano Pavarotti to sing along with in the car, despite the fact that our voices didn’t match! My favorite ear worm of the time began:
“Talor, dal mio forziere! Ruban tutti gioelli, due ladri gli occhi belli …” I’d be Rudolpho, falling in love all over again, in memory, with a pair of laughing, loving eyes! Except which pair of eyes that I fell in love with became permanently fixed, once I discovered A Prairie Home Companion and its melodious host! You're a singer worthy of the Met stage, if you ask me! Have you ever thought of doing an operatic tape? I bet, with some of your favorite distaff singers, it would be FANTASTIC! No need to drop your pants! What comes out of the lungs and the vocal cords is A # 1 SUPER-MAN!
My husband is turning 80 next week and I think he is finally realizing that I am right 90% of the time. I always acknowledge when he is right about something, but I don't mind doing it because it happens so rarely. (I am giving him your book for his birthday.)
....so, I don't know how to answer you at "let's converse". If I figure it out, we'll talk, GK!
Are you for real, Linda Moon? I've been reading Jules Verne's "Journey to the moon." It was written in 1865 or thereabouts . Believe it or not - he calculated that in order to reach the lighted side of the full moon, a space ship would have to take off from the 53 parallel - only Florida in the US reaches that far south. Consequently, Verne's his spaceship launching site was within 50 miles of Cape Canaveral! He also realized that bringing the astronauts back on land would be way, too jarring, so he had them "splash down!" in the ocean in a capsule that then floated and made their recovery very simple and safe!
Welcome to GK and Friends! This is a great site - lots of interesting commenters! How are things going with your Moon? I hope there's a lot of sunshine, and maybe a sprinkle of delightful moon dust! Here's to lots of great chats!
Yes, I'm for real. But before I reply more, let me know MORE about Garrison Keillor and Friends. Who are these people/friends? I read The Writer's Almanac regularly, so is Garrison himself involved in the ...and Friends post? I have lots of good Moon stories!
so, what exactly is this Garrison Keillor and Friends thingie.......