Your last paragraph had me choking on my last bite of my morning banana! I'm retired and live alone, so I hope whoever found me would have the afterthought to look at what I was reading when I croaked in such a ridiculous way. Hilarious!
I laughed so hard the moment I figured out what you were doing with the helicopter ride story … it was the kind of laugh that “only crazy people do … people with big problems … big …. h-UGE … problems” 😉 You better not pole vault and I’d better not run for office what with this horrifying laugh of mine. 🤣😂🤣
Did you not watch the women's Olympic basketball game? That was the best with the U.S. winning by 1 point. So often even in the Trib. here in Minneapolis the coverage is for the men's teams and our best team, the WNBA Lynx gets shorted. Go Lynx!
Thrilling game could have been tied by a toe. Caitlin Clark has got me watching the WNBA at least Indiana games. Best passer in a long time, and the Seph Curry of the women.
What a grand way to restart my day! Not yet 78, it’s, on some days, Olympian to get from desk to bathroom. Your walk to stage from wings seems greater. Mazel tov!
The reported helicopter ride story was the perfect guffaw-producing take. I do believe it far more than that of the other teller of tall tales while yours are in fact profound takes on life. Thank you.
You've just given me an idea for a book that I'll probably never finish just like the four other books existing in various stages of writing that are on my computer now. I'll tentatively call it, "My Girl," and it will be about the love of my life which I was almost too late to experience and enjoy. I think that I'll start with the chapter about our first kiss which came within a whisper of never happening at all. And then I can work my way backward to our providential meeting in the church that I'd asked God to lead me to after I'd returned to my hometown after getting myself "saved" up in New England during the summer of my twentieth year, and then I can write forward to our romance, marriage, child making and rearing, grandchildren, and the joys and sorrows of growing old together. Maybe nobody will ever read my book, but I know that I'll have fun writing it and reliving my love with the one who loves me like Jesus does. https://youtu.be/udL0NcO4bu8?si=Zn6Gmw2SR4PS7_fs
I'm not a novelist but an essayist, and a few years ago, when my wife was still living, I wrote a Roads Not Taken fantasy, about waking up from vivid dreams about what would have happened if romances with two previous girls I dated had progressed (not good) so at the end I wake up next to the love and best friend of my life. That part is no fantasy.
Hi Garrison, Great column on the Olympics, but Basketball was invented by the Canadian James Naismith, who put up a couple of peach baskets and improvised some rules… Thanks for all your great work over the years… you are a very modest Midwest genius….
Naismith was teaching at the predecessor to Springfield College, then a Y college to train Y workers. They rebelled against just calisthenics during the winter when soccer was over, so Naismith invented the indoor game. He later went on to Kansas U and created that basketball powerhouse.
A year later, a Springfield alumnus went a few miles upriver and invented volleyball at Holyoke College.
My daughter has an MS in sports psychology from Springfield college, has been in clinical practice and teaching psych with a PhD from another U. She got invited back 2 years ago to Springfield to head the Sports Psychology Dept. I toured the then new Basketball Hall of Fame in the mid-90s and toured the newer and much bigger Hall last year. Y'all come.
When I met my wife on eHarmony.com, she fell for me when I described myself as "a large Minnesota Swede." Who knew! She is a magnificent Oregon Scot, but I'm not holding that against her. When she (or anyone else) where I got my sense of humor and my kind smart ass personality, I just said, "think Garrison Keillor." It would be an understatement to say that my wife of 3 months loves you. When I suggested we fly to NYC and look for you stumbling along, she became uncontrollably giddy. So, I have a request. What is the chance that I could purchase a copy of "Cheerfulness" with a personal greeting from you written inside? If it's too much to ask, I will certainly understand. BTW, between you and Coach Walz, I now proudly wear a ball cap that says, "Oh yah. A proud Minnesotan!" You are loved here in Oregon.
Thank goodness the humor is back. A good time for me to make a few comments about all of the humorless Trump bashing that went before. Garrison Keillor has more in common with Donald Trump than he would like to acknowledge. Both men are storytellers and both perform to large audiences in theatrical settings. Both trade in humor based on a combination or irony and hyperbole. Yet Keillor is celebrated for his storytelling while Trump is condemned for his. Keillor’s use of irony and hyperbole is recognized and admired by his audiences while Trump’s is misinterpreted as literal and mischaracterized as lying by the mainstream media and his political opponents. Can this be because Trump is a master of theatrical suspension of disbelief and Keillor is not? Or isn't it more likely that the mainstream media and his political opponents recognize what Trump is doing but believe the public can be fooled into taking what Trump says literally and considering him to be a threat to democracy? But, you say, politicians are not supposed to be storytellers. You are supposed to be able to take what they say literally. Really? Was Joe Biden really on full scholarship and at the top of his class in law school? Was he really raised in a Puerto Rican family and a member of a black church? Did he really fight Corn Pop with a length of chain? Did he really have a job working as a long haul truck driver? All politicians are storytellers. If the media is on your side they will make allowances. If not, they will crucify you. And prosecutors, judges, and juries favoring the opposition will look for some way to bankrupt you and put you in prison. Can you imagine what they might do to Garrison Keillor if he were a Republican. Arrest him as a threat to public health. All that talk about powdermilk biscuits and rhubarb pie! He tells people they don’t need to see a doctor or take their medicines. The Keillor diet is all they need for lifelong health and happiness. He is a fraud! Fifty shows a year for forty years equals two thousand counts of felony fraud, not counting thousands more for rebroadcasts. Humor? Irony? Hyperbole? Inadmissible! The man means what he says! Lock him up!
No comment or we'll get into another needless argument. I'll just say that there's no comparison between the 2, one of them believes what he says is true. But maybe this is sarcasm.
It is obvious that you do not visit the theatre very often. When the actor playing the villain pulls out a toy gun and points it at the actor playing the hero, you stand up in the middle of the audience and yell "look out, he's got a gun!"
I've been to the theater a lot, my son and daughter in law have long careers in musical theater. To which half of your comment are we to regard Trump as a performer? If the 1st half, why? Why should he doing an act when campaigning?
Of course the last five lines of my post are sarcasm. I am not suggesting that Keillor (or Trump) should be prosecuted. I am amazed that so many of Keillor's fans cannot recognize humor when they see it. If they cannot recognize humor, why are they his fans?
Yes, of course I know the last half of your comment is sarcasm, but as said, how does this relate to the first half? Since we know you via your comments, how are we to judge your attempts at humor?
It depends on the capacity of each person's sense of humor. If something needs to be explained, it is beyond the range of his or her comprehension and an explanation will just undermine the humorous effect. When it comes to humor, we all fall short of Mr. Keillor. Which is why we are his fans rather than the other way around.
Has Garrison Keillor ever run for elected office? Has Garrison Keillor ever claimed any election he loses would have to have been rigged against him? Has Garrison Keillor ever pressured the president of another country to drum up a fake criminal investigation into his leading political opponent? Does Garrison Keillor brag nonstop about his incredible talents and his huge crowds? Did Garrison Keillor ever take out full-page newspaper ads calling for innocent people to be put to death? Does Garrison Keillor own companies that have been found liable for committing systematic fraud? Was Garrison Keillor's mentor the Nazi-loving Senator Joseph McCarthy's ruthless and unscrupulous chief counsel? Has Garrison Keillor ever told anyone that when you're a star you can grab any woman by the genitals whenever you want? Does Garrison Keillor regularly denigrate minorities of all kinds, along with anyone who dares criticize him? Does Garrison Keillor praise and seek out the company of dictators, white supremacists and other awful people? Does Garrison Keillor incite people to violence in an attempt to gain power? Your comparison is preposterous and totally uncalled for. As are your comments about the crack in "that liberty bell," because everyone knows about the crack in the liberty bell. My guess is that you know how silly what you've written is, but if you were actually serious when when you wrote it you have shown yourself to be an unthinking person. The good news is that you don't have to stay that way.
Is this another laid-off Twitter "moderator" looking for someone to censor? None of you have any sense of humor. The good news is that you don't have to stay that way.
Sorry, there's nothing funny in what you've written. I'm not censoring you, I'm responding to you. I'm not the government, so this has nothing to do with your freedom of speech. And you talk about needing to explain things to people! Maybe you find Trump funny when he talks about "blood coming out of her wherever" or mocks a person with disabilities, but most people see that he's a total asshole.
In a book review on Amazon, I once mentioned Woody Allen’s great comic tale “The Whore of Mensa” from his first short story collection “Without Feathers” (an homage to Emily Dickinson’s poem “Hope is the Thing with Feathers”). The “moderator” took my review down, saying “you can’t use the word whore on Amazon.” I reminded him that “Without Feathers” was currently being sold on the Amazon website and that “The Whore of Mensa” was mentioned in the table of contents accessible with the single click of a mouse. Naturally my appeal was rejected. I wonder if all social media “moderators” are required to take a humor detector test and undergo humorectomy surgery if they fail the test? Imagine what they would have done to “Guy Noir, Private Eye” and “Lives of the Cowboys.”
Your last paragraph had me choking on my last bite of my morning banana! I'm retired and live alone, so I hope whoever found me would have the afterthought to look at what I was reading when I croaked in such a ridiculous way. Hilarious!
Glad you survived the banana ti tell us! It was most perfect!
🤣😂😆🤣
I laughed so hard the moment I figured out what you were doing with the helicopter ride story … it was the kind of laugh that “only crazy people do … people with big problems … big …. h-UGE … problems” 😉 You better not pole vault and I’d better not run for office what with this horrifying laugh of mine. 🤣😂🤣
Wasn’t it? I guffawed in glee as I read!
Did you not watch the women's Olympic basketball game? That was the best with the U.S. winning by 1 point. So often even in the Trib. here in Minneapolis the coverage is for the men's teams and our best team, the WNBA Lynx gets shorted. Go Lynx!
Thrilling game could have been tied by a toe. Caitlin Clark has got me watching the WNBA at least Indiana games. Best passer in a long time, and the Seph Curry of the women.
What a grand way to restart my day! Not yet 78, it’s, on some days, Olympian to get from desk to bathroom. Your walk to stage from wings seems greater. Mazel tov!
The reported helicopter ride story was the perfect guffaw-producing take. I do believe it far more than that of the other teller of tall tales while yours are in fact profound takes on life. Thank you.
As an aside:
Long-time fans of APHC will remember the wonderful Erica Rhodes (among much else, she often played the youngling in skits).
Here is a link to a recent appearance by Erica on Stephen Colbert’s The Late Show:
https://youtu.be/fsfAE134OOk?si=DWvnoBIRpK6UXfpX
(Goodness, how time flies….)
We can’t hardly wait for your new book about your “my girl!”
You've just given me an idea for a book that I'll probably never finish just like the four other books existing in various stages of writing that are on my computer now. I'll tentatively call it, "My Girl," and it will be about the love of my life which I was almost too late to experience and enjoy. I think that I'll start with the chapter about our first kiss which came within a whisper of never happening at all. And then I can work my way backward to our providential meeting in the church that I'd asked God to lead me to after I'd returned to my hometown after getting myself "saved" up in New England during the summer of my twentieth year, and then I can write forward to our romance, marriage, child making and rearing, grandchildren, and the joys and sorrows of growing old together. Maybe nobody will ever read my book, but I know that I'll have fun writing it and reliving my love with the one who loves me like Jesus does. https://youtu.be/udL0NcO4bu8?si=Zn6Gmw2SR4PS7_fs
I'm not a novelist but an essayist, and a few years ago, when my wife was still living, I wrote a Roads Not Taken fantasy, about waking up from vivid dreams about what would have happened if romances with two previous girls I dated had progressed (not good) so at the end I wake up next to the love and best friend of my life. That part is no fantasy.
Then you lived the dream, Friend. Good for you. I'm so happy that you did. We few who do are an increasingly rare breed.
Good morning, Garrison. I've never ridden a helicopter. rr
Mayhaps you’ve ridden in a horse?!
Hi Garrison, Great column on the Olympics, but Basketball was invented by the Canadian James Naismith, who put up a couple of peach baskets and improvised some rules… Thanks for all your great work over the years… you are a very modest Midwest genius….
Naismith was teaching at the predecessor to Springfield College, then a Y college to train Y workers. They rebelled against just calisthenics during the winter when soccer was over, so Naismith invented the indoor game. He later went on to Kansas U and created that basketball powerhouse.
A year later, a Springfield alumnus went a few miles upriver and invented volleyball at Holyoke College.
My daughter has an MS in sports psychology from Springfield college, has been in clinical practice and teaching psych with a PhD from another U. She got invited back 2 years ago to Springfield to head the Sports Psychology Dept. I toured the then new Basketball Hall of Fame in the mid-90s and toured the newer and much bigger Hall last year. Y'all come.
ChatGPT has generated an ode to GK for all of us to enjoy:
Ode to Garrison Keillor
O voice of the prairie, rich and warm,
In the heart of the Midwest, you found your form.
With tales of Lake Wobegon, so gently spun,
Where ordinary lives and the extraordinary are one.
You wove together laughter and tears,
Capturing our hearts for countless years.
With your wit and wisdom, stories so true,
We felt the pulse of life through you.
A storyteller, poet, and sage,
You brought to life every word on the page.
With a voice like honey, soothing and deep,
You lulled us into a nostalgic sleep.
O Garrison, your legacy will remain,
In the whispers of wind and the fall of rain.
For in every story you shared with us all,
We found ourselves, both big and small.
So here's to the man who gave us a view,
Of a world that's simple, yet forever new.
With gratitude, we honor your name,
For in your stories, we find our flame.
When I met my wife on eHarmony.com, she fell for me when I described myself as "a large Minnesota Swede." Who knew! She is a magnificent Oregon Scot, but I'm not holding that against her. When she (or anyone else) where I got my sense of humor and my kind smart ass personality, I just said, "think Garrison Keillor." It would be an understatement to say that my wife of 3 months loves you. When I suggested we fly to NYC and look for you stumbling along, she became uncontrollably giddy. So, I have a request. What is the chance that I could purchase a copy of "Cheerfulness" with a personal greeting from you written inside? If it's too much to ask, I will certainly understand. BTW, between you and Coach Walz, I now proudly wear a ball cap that says, "Oh yah. A proud Minnesotan!" You are loved here in Oregon.
After your appreciation of the Olympics, I'm sorry I didn't tune in. You made it sound fun!
Another superior essay! Love the poem and the story about Trump at the end. 🤣
Hi Garrison,
I must say, I found your post today amusing yet often poignant. The Temptations lit up the morning!
I'm pretty sure that was from Dick Clark's American Bandstand. We watched that to see what the kids in Philly were doing, before cellphones. Cali Boy
Keep walking GK. Walking to the body is like writing to the mind.
Brilliant! You had me at the words "helicopter ride," when I started snickering. It got funnier and funnier.
Thank goodness the humor is back. A good time for me to make a few comments about all of the humorless Trump bashing that went before. Garrison Keillor has more in common with Donald Trump than he would like to acknowledge. Both men are storytellers and both perform to large audiences in theatrical settings. Both trade in humor based on a combination or irony and hyperbole. Yet Keillor is celebrated for his storytelling while Trump is condemned for his. Keillor’s use of irony and hyperbole is recognized and admired by his audiences while Trump’s is misinterpreted as literal and mischaracterized as lying by the mainstream media and his political opponents. Can this be because Trump is a master of theatrical suspension of disbelief and Keillor is not? Or isn't it more likely that the mainstream media and his political opponents recognize what Trump is doing but believe the public can be fooled into taking what Trump says literally and considering him to be a threat to democracy? But, you say, politicians are not supposed to be storytellers. You are supposed to be able to take what they say literally. Really? Was Joe Biden really on full scholarship and at the top of his class in law school? Was he really raised in a Puerto Rican family and a member of a black church? Did he really fight Corn Pop with a length of chain? Did he really have a job working as a long haul truck driver? All politicians are storytellers. If the media is on your side they will make allowances. If not, they will crucify you. And prosecutors, judges, and juries favoring the opposition will look for some way to bankrupt you and put you in prison. Can you imagine what they might do to Garrison Keillor if he were a Republican. Arrest him as a threat to public health. All that talk about powdermilk biscuits and rhubarb pie! He tells people they don’t need to see a doctor or take their medicines. The Keillor diet is all they need for lifelong health and happiness. He is a fraud! Fifty shows a year for forty years equals two thousand counts of felony fraud, not counting thousands more for rebroadcasts. Humor? Irony? Hyperbole? Inadmissible! The man means what he says! Lock him up!
No comment or we'll get into another needless argument. I'll just say that there's no comparison between the 2, one of them believes what he says is true. But maybe this is sarcasm.
It is obvious that you do not visit the theatre very often. When the actor playing the villain pulls out a toy gun and points it at the actor playing the hero, you stand up in the middle of the audience and yell "look out, he's got a gun!"
I've been to the theater a lot, my son and daughter in law have long careers in musical theater. To which half of your comment are we to regard Trump as a performer? If the 1st half, why? Why should he doing an act when campaigning?
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
William Shakespeare, Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)
Of course the last five lines of my post are sarcasm. I am not suggesting that Keillor (or Trump) should be prosecuted. I am amazed that so many of Keillor's fans cannot recognize humor when they see it. If they cannot recognize humor, why are they his fans?
Yes, of course I know the last half of your comment is sarcasm, but as said, how does this relate to the first half? Since we know you via your comments, how are we to judge your attempts at humor?
It depends on the capacity of each person's sense of humor. If something needs to be explained, it is beyond the range of his or her comprehension and an explanation will just undermine the humorous effect. When it comes to humor, we all fall short of Mr. Keillor. Which is why we are his fans rather than the other way around.
This is truly idiotic.
There is still a crack in that bell.
Has Garrison Keillor ever run for elected office? Has Garrison Keillor ever claimed any election he loses would have to have been rigged against him? Has Garrison Keillor ever pressured the president of another country to drum up a fake criminal investigation into his leading political opponent? Does Garrison Keillor brag nonstop about his incredible talents and his huge crowds? Did Garrison Keillor ever take out full-page newspaper ads calling for innocent people to be put to death? Does Garrison Keillor own companies that have been found liable for committing systematic fraud? Was Garrison Keillor's mentor the Nazi-loving Senator Joseph McCarthy's ruthless and unscrupulous chief counsel? Has Garrison Keillor ever told anyone that when you're a star you can grab any woman by the genitals whenever you want? Does Garrison Keillor regularly denigrate minorities of all kinds, along with anyone who dares criticize him? Does Garrison Keillor praise and seek out the company of dictators, white supremacists and other awful people? Does Garrison Keillor incite people to violence in an attempt to gain power? Your comparison is preposterous and totally uncalled for. As are your comments about the crack in "that liberty bell," because everyone knows about the crack in the liberty bell. My guess is that you know how silly what you've written is, but if you were actually serious when when you wrote it you have shown yourself to be an unthinking person. The good news is that you don't have to stay that way.
Is this another laid-off Twitter "moderator" looking for someone to censor? None of you have any sense of humor. The good news is that you don't have to stay that way.
Sorry, there's nothing funny in what you've written. I'm not censoring you, I'm responding to you. I'm not the government, so this has nothing to do with your freedom of speech. And you talk about needing to explain things to people! Maybe you find Trump funny when he talks about "blood coming out of her wherever" or mocks a person with disabilities, but most people see that he's a total asshole.
Send your resume to Zuckerberg. I 'm sure there will be a place for you at Facebook.
In a book review on Amazon, I once mentioned Woody Allen’s great comic tale “The Whore of Mensa” from his first short story collection “Without Feathers” (an homage to Emily Dickinson’s poem “Hope is the Thing with Feathers”). The “moderator” took my review down, saying “you can’t use the word whore on Amazon.” I reminded him that “Without Feathers” was currently being sold on the Amazon website and that “The Whore of Mensa” was mentioned in the table of contents accessible with the single click of a mouse. Naturally my appeal was rejected. I wonder if all social media “moderators” are required to take a humor detector test and undergo humorectomy surgery if they fail the test? Imagine what they would have done to “Guy Noir, Private Eye” and “Lives of the Cowboys.”