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Apr 27, 2022
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Patrick Houston's avatar

I have seriously considered making a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese with peas and canned tuna as my last meal request.

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

I don't believe they give mac and cheese in an IV.

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Juliana Harris's avatar

PUZZLE

The Addams Family

was the final answer

on Jeopardy the other night

and it occurred to me

that cartoon would never appear

in today's New Yorker.

After all,

Gomez was a sinister hispanic

and Morticia an abusive mother.

The lush ribaldry

of Chas Addams and Peter Arno

has been replaced by stick figures and baffling captions.

Crossword puzzles

are filled with computer idioms

and the names of rap stars.

Current magazines feature

stories and photos of celebrities

i neither recognize nor care to.

In my old age

I have become

an anachronism.

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Jeanie Marx's avatar

Your columns make me laugh out loud. So reassuring to hear from another 79-year-old writer who doesn’t know or care about Adele and her ilk. Good luck on your heart procedure. Let me know if removed your regrets. Reading about someone else my age also losing sleep over stupid things is somehow reassuring. I loved “The Lone Ranger,”but I don’t remember the Cheerios commercial. Your memory is not as bad as you think. But do you remember radio’s “Let’s Pretend”? Memory test: Who lived in a shoe that was the advertiser?

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Patrick Houston's avatar

I had a triple bypass two years ago as Covid swept the country, preventing any of my loved ones from being with me. Alas, not even such a drastic, rib-cage-cracking experience exorcise my regrets.

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Buster Brown.

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Caroline McCullagh's avatar

My name's Buster Brown. I live in a shoe. My dog's name is Tige. He lives in there too.

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Kate Kerr's avatar

So long, dear friend; it’s been delightful being able to send you messages now and then via my iPhone and this Substack platform. Economic exigencies lead me to not renew my paid subscription, but rest assured that I will continue to read your musings with great pleasure and appreciation for you and your lively mind. You are an American Treasure.

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Mickey Wood's avatar

Good luck. ❤️

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Steven Beste's avatar

Alexa would wish you "the best of luck on your procedure". "Would you like to know anything else about it". The normal response would be "No" since your cardiologist has already discussed it with you and you trust them. Best of luck.

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Jean Barish's avatar

Let's hear it for getting older. When my father celebrated his 80th birthday with family and friends, he lifted his champagne glass and said, "Well, here I am. Eight years past the warranty."

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Barb Heidenreich's avatar

Garrison, it is called KD (Kraft Dinner) in Canada, not Mac n'Cheese ... lets put an international flavour to this meal!! ♥

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Mary's avatar

Excellent, as usual. Reminded me of what a relative of my Dad's was reported to have said in trying not to hurt the cook's feelings. "Good, what there was of it. Plenty of it, such as it was."

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Richard Kooken's avatar

I have short hair and wear jeans with holes in them and I drink tea. Your humble-bumble shades toward smug.

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Hurray for self-advocacy!

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Sharon Cramer's avatar

Today is my birthday, and with each passing year I too learn the happiness in "good enough".

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William Snyder's avatar

Regarding the Red Rocks concert. There are many fans who cannot travel to CO for the concert who would be willing to pay a fee for a livestream. Are there any plans for this?

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Too complicated, too much paperwork. We're just out for a good time.

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Caryl Adams's avatar

I wish I could be at Red Rocks

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WanderingSioux's avatar

May the Good Lord Bless and Keep You during your operation! I'm sure there will be skilled folks at the knife, backup, anesthesiologist, and so forth. I wouldn't be surprised if there might be someone in attendance outside a glass partition - someone who can see the play-by-play on a video screen As It Happens! I've been an interpreter for several Ukrainian immigrants during their heart surgery. I've been tuned in to watch stents working their way in through an artery that surfaces in the inner thigh. Depending on the situation, you might get to watch the play-by-play too!

It should be comforting to know that these things have been done thousands of times. By now, they probably have "most of the glitches worked out"! It doesn't mean you'll soon be playing ice hockey with Wayne Gretskey, or some such (I saw him in his prime, long, long ago!). But those of us who treasure your writerly accomplishments can look forward to many more wonderful tales flowing from your masterful pen (or should I make that computer?).

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Dean Allen's avatar

Thanks, GK, for another great installment.

You were once kind enough to give me advice on seeing New York for the first time; could you add to this the name and location of this café of yours with the Mac & Cheese?

Wishing you all the best at the Doc's........... Dean

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Garrison Keillor's avatar

Consulate on Columbis Ave.

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Laura Simpson's avatar

Dear Garrison,

I got pulled into your piece today because I love Mac & Cheese. But you said so much more. It made me realize that so much of what you write chokes me up, in a good way. I always feel reading what you write is a good investment for my own being. Thank you so much.

Laura S.

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