64 Comments
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gary wagner's avatar

Is the 'T' printed or embroidered??

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susan thompson's avatar

Brilliant as usual

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Lynda Bennett Valladares's avatar

I can relate

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susan conner's avatar

The Delta blues and Robert Johnson will always be superior to the airline. I believe companies intentionally make website changes difficult just to frustrate us so we have to keep looking at their website. Like it's going to create a magical power over us. I try to be flexible about things except for the basic idea of where I put things - keys, glasses, handbag, etc. Always the same place so I know and don't have to look. There is one thing that helps - say the place out loud so you hear it and will create a memory in your brain. Love your writing. 💙

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David Chapman's avatar

When I was a lawyer, I always gave my clients two copies of my business card. “Put one of these in the place you expect to find it, the other in some odd but obvious place where you can find it when you can’t find the one where you expected to find it.”

Have you ever considered buying a second pair of glasses, Garrison?

Other than that, stay the great course. Many thanks for every word of it.

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LBMLiz's avatar

This is one of my very favorites. What a perfect column!

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Bill Howard's avatar

Dear Garrison:

If you think it's bad at age 83, just wait three more years!

Technology drives me nuts, and I once taught people how to use personal computers.

The times they are a'changin'

And I am not.

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LIsa Baughn's avatar

You made my day!

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ronetc's avatar

Good heavens . . . "WordPerfect," is that still available, still possible!? A tipping point of world decline was reached after WordPerfect 6.1, when later WP versions became unusable and the evil simply known as Word began to rule the rapidly-degrading world. It is not true that in the beginning was the Word; in the beginning was WordPerfect.

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Lawrence Phillips's avatar

In the beginning, to a scientist, there was Lotus 1-2-3. Excel was not even a twinkle in anyone's mind. Because Lotus's graphs were so rudimentary, we learned to "trick" Lotus to make the graphs we needed. Now, the graphing options with Excel are almost limitless, but it is so complex that it is hard to use. I suppose obstacles have been around since the beginning of time.

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ronetc's avatar

Yes, Oh Brother, and they should always be pronounced obb-STACK-els.

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PamTyree's avatar

I love the movie and your comment.....made me laugh.

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Michele Mandrioli's avatar

Excel was originally Microsoft Multiplan, which I started using in the mid-1980s to automate the calculations in my grade books. I later taught Excel to chemistry majors, originally for making graphs for their lab reports, but I eventually made 3 Excel-related web sites for sites for my courses - one for chemistry calculations, one for statistics calculations, and one for applied math in chemistry.

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Lawrence Phillips's avatar

Helping the kids. Very cool. Sounds like you were/are a jack of all trades in the educational world.

This is a rabbit hole going in another direction, but I often wonder about the current status of math. I spent a lot of time in math (taking a math course every semester, high school and college, for 8 years), eventually getting to differential equations so I could do the really fun science. But I got away from the pure math of partial differntial equations with iterated calculated approximations. And I think this is a common thing to do. But I bet that AI could probably set up the approximation if asked. I wonder if all those years of studying math are still needed?

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Paul Petersen's avatar

Sorry but in the beginning it was Wang Word Processing, just ask Steven King how perfect it was! But I’m so very grateful that God, in the beginning created Mr. Keillor, what a gem we have in his observations.

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Lauren Schwab's avatar

I also learned first on a Wang back in the early 80's when I was doing a summer internship at Rockwell International! People look at me with utter confusion when I tell them this; thanks for helping me remember the absolute magic of the Wang Word Processor!

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Paul Petersen's avatar

Wang, the Microsoft of the 70’s and always with an eye on the big guy, IBM. But oh how great the fall after Dr. Wang passed away. Who would have thunk it ? But technology marches forward leaving debris and memories behind. Just like politics and thankful that we live in a democracy where time marches on regardless of who is sitting in the seats of power ( although I still think term limits in Congress are very much in order.)

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PamTyree's avatar

I mist heartily agree!!!

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Michele Mandrioli's avatar

We had Wang programmable desktop calculators when I was in graduate school starting in the early 1970s. We used “wang” as a verb when talking about doing the calculations for our research. I also learned to use a Wang word processor early in my teaching career, but late in 1984 the university provided us with Macintosh computers and printers, which were much easier and more convenient to use for that purpose. The secretaries were pleased that many of us typed all of our own handouts, quizzes and tests after that.

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Linda Williams's avatar

I hear you! Know how you're feeling. Be brave! Be strong! You're doing well. Fortunately many of us, your long time followers, are of an age, and know just how you feel.

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Kate's avatar

All I can say is that the people who coded the Delta website doubtless could not have turned their efforts into either poetry or a column to amuse and delight us thousands of folks in great need of delight and amusement. And since you can do that - and we thousands thank you - I will also submit that you are a long, long way from dementia. And even President Bartlett lost his glasses in The West Wing episode "A Proportional Response" so you are in good company. (And now you know the kind of nerd I am.)

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Ann W's avatar

Your headline put me in mind of that long-ago musician (whose name I can't remember) who wrote the song "Thank you, Republic Airlines, for breaking the neck of my guitar."

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Gary Lee Phillips's avatar

That would be Tom Paxton, whose wit ranks alongside that of Mr. Keillor himself.

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Ann W's avatar

Yes, it sure was Paxton. He was great. Thanks.

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Martin Reiter's avatar

And Paxton is still here, but Republic is not.

(Spell-check tried to substitute Republic with “Republicans”. Oh, how I wish.)

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Ann W's avatar

Well, the airline wasn't the greatest, but the current GOP definitely is not.

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cheryl's avatar

My daily dose of humor, urgently needed and appreciated in an age where there is little to laugh about.

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PamTyree's avatar

Well said.

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glen grady's avatar

So I am not the only one who recognizes the not so subtle signs of the dementia creep- I share every one of these loses of (now I can't come up with the word I have known for 77 years of so to describe it.) And I am still 6 years your junior.

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Gary Lee Phillips's avatar

After decades as a librarian, I have shown thousands how to find the backspace key or whatever. I can work an app too. Yet somehow I am unable to get your store to ship the hat I ordered weeks ago. "Address label printed" is its lowly status. As for glasses, I have four pair but usually one is already on my face because I can't see without any. Good one. Now, about that hat...

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Kim Nesvig's avatar

I recall searching diligently for my eye glasses, until I suddenly noticed that my vision was surprisingly clear. I was sure a miracle had occurred until I felt my glasses sitting on my nose.

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Kim Nesvig's avatar

I’ll see your sumus quid sumus and raise you Quando omni flunkus moritati

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Carl Arrechea's avatar

Oh my! I just found myself agreeing with you. Meanwhile - where are my damn glasses???

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